


Christ I'm a Sidewinder I'm a California King

by StrangestAeon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bigotry & Prejudice, Body Horror, Body snatching, Bullying, But it's just imagination, But it's not really about the high school, Canon-Typical Violence, Conditioning, Developing Friendships, F/F, F/M, False Memories, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Justice, M/M, Memories, Other Dave is a jerk though, Racism, Revolution, Some civil rights stuff, Swearing, There are a few scenes where some characters imagine some very bad things, Time Shenanigans, Waking up in another Dave's body, Xenophobia, it's about the xenophobia and racism that comes from a human and troll society
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangestAeon/pseuds/StrangestAeon
Summary: “H-hi.” Dave blinked trying and failing to see anything different about Rose. A glimmer of something that indicated that she too did not belong.“There is something wrong with you.” She says bluntly and without preamble.A crack in the timeline breaks the game.Dave wakes up the same, but a world seemingly unaffected by Skaia is different in unexpected ways.Dave will learn that there are some problems that are harder to deal with that a meteorite or an exploding sun- mainly how to seek justice in an unjust system and what it means to pay for others people's crimes.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas, Karkat Vantas & Everyone, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 221
Kudos: 228





	1. Parallel Universe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brightgemini](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightgemini/gifts).



> Alright so in 2013 I wrote a Homestuck fanfiction because I was bored in geology class. BUT I never did anything with it because I was a teenager and embarrassed that I had written so much on Homestuck instead of on like gypsum... but i'm older now and I don't think it's actually that embarrassing to write things for fun. 
> 
> In fact, I was thinking about it and like... it's a much more fun and better world when people post their dumb stories that made them happy, even when they wrote them when they should have been studying.
> 
> So please enjoy my Homestuck AU. Most of it was written before the ending, but I did try to go back and fix it up a little, if only so the grammar doesn't make anyone's eyes bleed. ^^

_I swear it's everywhere_   
_It's everything_

* * *

_It’s over_ , Dave thinks, with all the bone-weariness that comes when a clock finally grinds to a standstill.

Ancient gears finally worn down to dust.

It’s over.

It’s over.

_It’s over._

Except it’s _not_.

The children did it. _They had won_. In a backwards circular way, which is really the only way anyone knows how to do anything at this point.

But it still doesn’t matter because no one saw the _c r a c k s._

Those fine little spider webs of past mistakes arcing across time..

It was just a _little_ break after all, just one fractured line among many. Only _this_ line, crackled with green sun energy. Pulsating maliciously, pulling, and pumping until it caused a _fall._

The whole way down it is _wrong,_

_wrong,_

_wrong._

The seconds stop and reality is ripped away all at once. The microscopic compounded wounds of an overtaxed timeline finally shattered and swallowed everyone and their forsaken door.

Dave twists around in shock as things splinter but somehow he can’t muster the emotion to be surprised. _Of course the game would try to break and fuck everyone over one last time._ _Of course..._ It’s practically what it was made for. An eldritch unknowable thing demanding that all who stray to pay in blood.

 _So, in a way it’s judgement,_ Dave guesses, _m_ _aybe God. Mad all his little Icarus' flew too close to the Green Sun._

The energy is overwhelming now. Everything is _almost_ wiped clean, but Dave still gets a glimpse of the terror on his friend’s faces.

Karkat’s gaping in particular causes his skin to crawl. 

_I have to do something before it is too late._

Dave catches his eye but Karkat’s shaking his head, like he knows Dave is going to try something foolish.

He’s not wrong.

In a blind panic Dave reaches out to grab Time. At the same time, Dave feels Breath, Mind, and Light at his back.

Surprisingly, there is also something else undefinable- Blood maybe, _and isn’t that a trip?_ Soon even that is drowned in multitude of others, until Dave can barely hang on to a cohesive thought amid the mash of glowing technicoloured energy and the desperation of trying one last time to force their way free.

 _They can maybe do this_ , Dave blinks feeling hop coiling in his chest. _Combined there are more of them then a typical game can handle. It’s maybe possible to break it back?_

Everyone's fighting now.

Resisting their false fate.

They punch through. 

It’s beautiful really, a brief supernova- Then something shudders like when a heart stops beating and reality is finally torn apart along the seams. Dave and John hurl everyone towards a new door of everyone’s own brutal and crude creation. Lights are everywhere. It’s distilled chaos, but suddenly its like the chord was pulled from its socket and _there is no input-_

Everything is rendered dark and muted.

Blind, deaf, and angry Dave decides, _Fine! If reality is going to have the audacity to unravel then we will claw it back together._

He is wrong of course. Not about reality, which is malleable in its own way, but rather the part about being _together._

* * *

With a sharp inhale, Dave wakes up alone.

Things seem quiet and still, but also faded and dark. All he can think is: _Welp, we had a good run._ Then, more curiously **,** _Am I… actually dead?_ When the moment lingered and nothing really happened Dave frowns.

 _This is all so painfully stupid_ , Dave decides when he can still feel his toes and all his limbs. Dave knew intimately what death felt like and this for sure wasn't it, _I probably still have pupils, which is cool because hey- not dead._

Experimentally, He extended his focus around the room, wiggling his fingers and shoulders. It honestly felt like he was just lying in a bed. In fact, he feels better than ever, absolutely fine. A whole lifetime away from the intense space battle he had been part of not only a few minutes before.

 _Though of course, time is relative._ Dave reminded himself, and it wasn't like he was completely pain free with all his old scars still aching.

This bedroom theory was confirmed when a shrill sound suddenly pierced the room. Beeping and chirping in annoyed bird like tones.

_What is that for? Are we under attack?_

Dave tenses with adrenaline, jumping up trying to reach for a sword, only to dizzily realize he did not have one. The moment of panic embarrassingly bleeds out though, because the sound is just a tiny, harmless alarm clock.

 _It’s nothing_ , Dave stills his beating heart. _It’s even the same_ _kind kids have near their beds to tell them to wake their asses up and get to dat good book learning._

He blinks down at it.

The kind a kid like Dave might have been before this entire asteroid, Lord English, doomed Earth business. 

_I’m so stupid._ Because that meant he was on Earth somehow, right? and like, _okay but what did that mean?_

_What did any of this mean?_

Only two words could describe this situation so he said them: 

“Da fuck _?”_

Dave makes a move to shut the clock off and, with the sound gone, soundlessly grips the small machine to his chest in panic. _Jegus, how badly did we break everything?_ Already the wrongness in the timeline is clawing at him. Itching under the skin like a burning parasite.

 _There’s a problem_ it screams

He could feel it.

 _But why!?_ He wants to scream back, but of course there is no answer.

Looking around the room for clues, Dave sees what is more or less a sleeping space that belonged to a _painfully_ basic teen boy. 

There was the bed that had a red, white, and black duvet.

 _Comfy!_ It was _clearly_ the best part.

The rest of it was dull and grey.

The walls had a few posters on them to cover the drab walls but they were all of Earth women and something text heavy that was hard to read in low light. There was a desk too, with some drawers on the side and a computer on top, but it seemed to be entirely human with no trace of troll prototyping. 

_It's just...kind of normal,_ Dave's heart stills at the oddity of it all. Feeling a little hollow, Dave does not take the initiative to snoop through the draws and stuff in detail. Instead, opting to wrap himself in the blanket and brainstorm.

_Alright, alright… Earth, room. What’s next? Maybe I should just stay put? Or maybe I should wait to see if any of the others are here? This room doesn’t look particularly unsafe..._

_There is a window with blinds on the far wall, maybe I can-_

However, before he can decide his next course of action, an all too familiar voice rings through the air

“Hey lil' bro, are you getting up?”

Dave's blood runs cold _. No,_ _that was impossible. He IS dead. I saw him DIE_. _I went on an epic space quest to meet his teen double and everything!_ And yet-

That was Bro Strider's voice.

Something in Dave's gut twists, unsure what to feel through his initial revulsion.

Terror maybe.

 _Do- I... Do I have to do this all again?_ Dave spirals, heart jackhammering.

_No, No I have to deal with this. If he is here other people might be... He shouldn't be with them._

The mental mantra _of I'm not thirteen anymore_ seems to help as Dave descended the staircase. Blanket left neatly folded back where he found it.

Abruptly, Dave is aware that he isn't wearing sunglasses. but the clothes on his body might actually belong to him as they fit his lean frame. So, he is at least half presentable which is _great_ because when he sees Bro he is immediately hit by a fresh wave of self-conscious fear. Because _holyshitholyshitholyshit_ , that’s Bro standing right there in someone's kitchen. 

Dave wants to hyperventilate, only he _doesn't_ because Bro shifts wrong and the illusion is _broken._

It’s Dirk.

 _Just_ Dirk.

And the horrible moment passes.

He just _looks_ like Bro, but all the little differences are there. Dumb shirt, young face, and he’s well _there_ and not like flash stepping everywhere like some ghost.

 _Or like… hitting me._ Dave blinks, _Ugh._ _Thank sweet Troll Jegus._

“Hey!” Dave grinds out a shaky exclamation because, once again, it is _just_ Dirk.

 _Dirk is great, he was weird sometimes sure, but he liked Dave? Loved him? They loved each other? It was something_. Dave goes to open his mouth but is suddenly flooded by a ton of raw emotion, _because oh man, everyone died- Or at least came close! And that feeling... When we all fell- like he was so sure he would be somewhere alone._ In terms of instant relief seeing his brother was like a tall glass of water on a hot day.

It’s a compulsion almost, Dave goes to hug Dirk, but abruptly stops because now Dirk is moving wrong, and it's confusing enough that Dave has to just stare for a few seconds trying to process.

_....Dirk but not Dirk?_

Dirk, now probably feeling caught off guard by Dave's abrupt stiffness, awkwardly tilts his head and asks, “Um, Dave, are you feeling alright? You are acting like you haven’t seen me for years.”

And _oh. Yes, the crushing wrongness of time._

“It feels like I haven’t…” Dave says just to be on the safe side, because it is an answer.

Dave does the math analyzing the kitchen _, I live with Dirk somehow… and I have for a long time._ He realizes when he sees photos on the fridge. There aren't many, so they must have moved recently or Dirk is a sparse decorator, but he-Dave is in the photograph with Dirk and they are _young._

And _oh no,_ because it’s not really _him_ -Dave, but rather _a_ Dave.

Meaning this was not _his_ Dirk.

“Say… Hypothetically, you wouldn’t remember some twisted fucked up game we all played that cracked at the stitching landing us all in a weird universe before we opened the final door do you?”

Dirk-But-Maybe-Not- levels a slight frown at Dave.

“Are you smoking Marijuana?”

“What? No! I mean, like, do you know uh- Skaia?”

“Can’t say that I do, is that a new street drug?” He actually sounds serious.

“I’m not on drugs!” Dave insists, mind whirling. _No Skaia means the world didn’t end…. That’s a nice thought. But then where am I? When am I?_

“You-you aren’t joking, right? You don’t know about Caliborn, Jack Noir, or umm- frogs?”

“No, Dave.” Absolutely-Not-Dirk frowns. More differences become apparent. He seems a little older than he should be, his body and demeanor not quite right. Staring at Dirk, Dave considers the possibility of a dream bubble but _no_ , he _feels_ alive, and Dirk’s eyes are a blazing tangerine.

 _An alternate timeline then,_ Dave blinks, satisfied with that little revelation, _an alternate timeline with an alternate Dirk._ But... that was odd in itself as they were never supposed to exist at the same time. Alpha and Beta sides of the disk playing at once.

For a second Dave is lost in the puzzle of the paradox.

“Uh huh.” The Dirk says uncertainly after Dave makes no move to continue the conversation or explain himself. Belatedly, Dave notices that Dirk had made a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs. It’s really nice, but it sends new alarm bells off in Dave’s mind because it was so normal, and kind and _wrong!_

\- A situation that didn’t belong to him.

 _It belongs to another Dave._ It’s the only possibility that makes sense. Explains the existence of the impossible photograph, the room that was probably his but also painfully not, the whole and hale Earth waiting for him outside. 

With a voice tainted with a strange mixture of guilt and melancholy, Dirk asks the question, “Are you sure you are alright?”

“Yeah, of course.” Dave answers, even though the truth is a hard _no_ , because Dave just up and _body snatched_ Dirk's real brother. 

The name _skinwalker_ sat heavily on the tip of Dave’s tongue, ready to be confessed, but of course he bites down on that, doesn’t know enough about the situation to do something so selfish and stupid.

Dave’s reverie is broken when Dirk asks, “Is it the dreams?”

 _Oh no, oh no_ Dave panics, because did he do this? Did he play along? _Could_ he even? He didn’t know about any dreams or have any spare memories that usually accompanied a merging of timelines.

He was just a familiar stranger.

“Um.” _Shit, how do I answer this? What would Jade say?_ But as quick as he tried to scramble, Dave found he could not think up an answer on the fly, the guilt of having effectively ended another Dave’s timeline weighing heavily over him.

“It’s okay lil' bro, You still have some therapy sessions left to attend, I asked if you could go more often because I know you’ve been stressed out lately by school and the integration announcement they just made.”

Dave’s Dirk-like brother looks at him, _and_ _holy shit is that an emotion on his face?_

It's suddenly too much.

 _Would he mourn his Dave's death? Would he be angry? Would he want revenge or an explanation I can't give him?_ It feels like the sword of Damocles will drop any minute.  
  
In that moment, Dave knows he has to live this life as if nothing happened, at least for a little while. But, Dirk’s casual mention of school and therapy sends Dave reeling again.

 _I’m in therapy and school?_ Dave panics internally because that’s so cool and adult, but also wildly terrifying because he knows almost nothing about either. I _spent all my formative years on a rock in space._ He blinks, _this cannot possibly end well._

It kind of makes sense though, doesn’t it? If the world didn’t end, and this Dave was a normal teenager… then he should go to normal teenage school? A small spark of jealousy grows in his chest, for a life that could have been his but was lost forever.

 _A time god in a public high school sounds like the beginning of a joke,_ Dave thinks nonsensically. But schools are full of _teenagers_ , and that is a good place to look for the _others.  
  
You have to be there, _the jagged pieces of Time seemed to tell him.

 _Huh, so they had to be here.  
  
Dirk was here... so?_ Dave felt it was safe to be a little hopeful, _there had to be others nearby,_ his weird god senses told him so, _one of them will know how I can explain myself to Dirk._

Besides that, Karkat, Rose, and the others absence were gaping holes in Dave's heart, he needed them before he could make sense of anything else.

“I’ll tell you about them later?” Dave promises emptily, “But, uhh, tell me more about this school. Is today a school day? Do I have to go? Are my friends there?”

Dirk blinks quizzically, “What are you talking about? Of course you are going to school. It’s a Monday and it’s September... It’s kind of mandatory.”

“Um, yes right, I _know_ that… but I mean, like, right now. Could you just take me to this school today? I mean, drive me to school.”

“You usually walk.” Dirk says uncertainly. 

_If he makes me walk I will absolutely not find it._ “ _Please_ drive me?” Dave tries.

“Sure.” Dirk says with imperfect impassiveness.

 _Oh no,_ Dave thinks sensing that the other boy was ruffled, _Maybe he thinks I am acting weird and that’s why he is so weird…_

It’s a gross feeling.

Dave is saved from any explanation though, when Dirk points back to the stairs and says, “Go get ready.”

Filled with a strange mix of guilt, nerves, and hope Dave somehow manages to dress himself and get decent before following Dirk out of the house to an ugly orange car. He wordlessly hands Dave a red backpack filled with notebooks.  
  
Dave is just glad he found a pair of sunglasses.

In the car, Dave sits in silence taking in the scenery. It’s not Texas, and It’s not the apartment he remembers, but it is warm and there are an awful lot of trees. He can’t take it in fully though as he must do his absolute best to remember the street names.

By the time Dirk drops him in front of a bright yellow building with peeling paint, Dave isn’t sure if he wants to turn around and go back into the car or not. On one hand, he was _so guilty_ for taking the other Dave away from Dirk, but it was still a Dirk and he was familiar in a way nothing else was at the moment.

Dave is about to call out and feign sickness when he sees the welcome sign. In bold print, it says: WELCOME BACK STUDENTS OF PROSPIT SECONDARY SCHOOL.

 _Prospit huh?_ Dave blinks, a tingle going up his spine, _that’s not right._ _Another point for something out of joint._

“Call me later. I’ll come pick you up.” Dirk calls hesitantly before finally driving off. There are not many cars right now, Dave notes, _I must be early._ When more do appear after a few minutes of idling nervously a fresh wave of panic surges through him.

 _Alright so ahhh bizzaro land high school, cool I mean it's fine. Better than sitting in a house with a person whose brother I killed I guess?_ Dave takes a deep breath, this was somehow so much harder than a burning world full of alligators, _how in the hell do I do this?_

 _Striders can deal with anything, probably._ _Even this….. situation, maybe? Something like that._

Something dark dawns on Dave.

 _Except… I don’t know what classes to go to…Oh Gog, people probably have nightmares about this._ Fighting off yet another panic attack, Dave wracks his brain for what kids usually do in the movies when they go to school. 

_There is a book_ , he remembers, _a planner._

Dave just sort of reaches into his bag until he finds something labeled 'agenda'. Inside is the whole day’s schedule. It is an unexpected flood of relief. 

“Rad,” he says to himself, happy that this is going well so far while simultaneously wanting the cry that his bar for success was so low. Deciding he was here, and after the roaring success that was finding the agenda- Dave enters the building.

Immediately every piece of media he had ever consumed about high school movies flows through his mind because, _huh,_ this was his first time actually doing it in person.

Dave’s first thought is, _oh my god, why are there so many people!_ It wasn’t like the meteor or life before the mentor when he was mostly inside… it was overwhelming.

_And so human…_

Dave hadn’t realized that not seeing grey skin would cause him such distress.

How was he supposed to find his friends _here?_  
  
 _Karkat, Rose… anyone, where are you?_

The controlled chaos of the school seemed broken somehow, though to Dave's untrained eyes he couldn't immediately make out the problem. _A lot of things are broken though_. Dave blinks, the wrongness of the timescape ever present. _Why do you want me here?_ He wants to ask but can't.

A bell rings so Dave quickens his stride. 

The floors and rooms are all labelled so once Dave gets over his initial confusion of South versus North wing he manages to find his first class.

It’s English.

_What am I thinking… I don't belong here._

The classroom is nice but plain. There are some posters of bleeding pig heads on pikes in the back, Dave is not sure how he feels about that. When human after human files in and sits down, he once again misses grey skin and curled horns. 

Dave missed Karkat the most of all the trolls ,of course, but he found he also missed Aradia because she would understand the horrible itch that clawed at his heart.

_Ughhh..._

Realizing there were not many seats left, Dave sits down and fishes in his bag for a notebook to doodle in. He plans to just zone out and maybe think about what to do next, but when the class starts Dave’s attention is focused on the teacher. The man himself has a commanding presence, as he is large and almost ethereally pale, but it’s what he talks about that stands out most to Dave.

It’s Hamlet.  
  
He's never read Hamlet before. _It's new material,_ Dave blinks.

Well new to him, ancient to everyone else- Something he thought was destroyed at the end of the world but inexplicably back.

_Maybe it’s nice to learn? Fun?_

Expressing emoting was still hard for Dave, though he was trying. He _could_ like school maybe. That was probably okay. It was nicer than just scanning things off of Wiki and Sparknotes.

The next class goes the same way.

There is a casual ease to the experience that leaves Dave with an odd joy. He almost forgets he woke up so far from home, sick with the horrible sensation of broken clocks.

Dave imagines, just for a second, that this easy life of learning was his. Actually properly his and not some other Dave’s.

 _Ahh, if only the world didn’t end._ He thinks in quiet bemusement before snorting, _sucks._

Things are good until Dave’s third class, the one just before lunch.

It is a Geography.

It's already half full, so Dave finds a mostly unscuffed desk near the back. He reaches for his notebook again when two large intimidating looking punks walk in and sit both beside and in front of him.

“Sup, Dave,” they both say conspiratorially. 

_Oh shit. Reality is back._

Dave inclines his head cooly but says nothing. 

_They know him!- Me, uhhh_. Dave knows enough about pop culture to guess that these are ‘the bullies’™. It occurs to him, somewhat belatedly, that if they knew his name then he should absolutely know theirs. 

Where were the other Dave’s memories? The lack of even an echo is disconcerting, but not something that is pressing.

What _was_ pressing was that he was in a weird place, and if he didn’t want to make friends with his alternate self’s bullies then he shouldn’t have to.

_It looks like they are the insistent type though..._

The boy in front is burly with brown hair. Dave dubs him Thing 1. The boy across has sandy hair and a creepy smile. Dave names him Thing 2. There is something about them that makes Dave dislike them both instantly. They begin to converse among themselves about boring stuff like ‘the sport game last night’ 

Stifling a yawn, Dave is confident he can ignore them. He is doing a great job until one of them turns and taps him on the arm, effectively dragging him into their chat.

“Hey, Dave, are you going to the rally after school?” Thing 1 asks.

_Great, more stuff I don’t remember or understand._

“Uh, no.”

Apparently Dave had dream therapy or something? It was probably more important. Or at least alternate-Dirk thought so, and Dave didn't want to let him down.

They continued to push.

“But dude! We have to get ready for tomorrow!” 

“Um.”

“We have to get organized to stop those monsters, I mean, am I right? Half the town is going to be there!” Thing 2 was speaking while Thing 1 nodded.

“Can’t dude, I promised my bro I would go somewhere with him.” Dave says truthfully, not for the life of him understanding why they were both so friendly and so pushy.

_Also monsters?_

_What monsters could there be without Skaia? Did they mean Imps?_

_Thing 1 and 2 did have awfully sharp canine teeth for humans._ Dave thinks, _Is that normal or did he just forget?_

 _God this was hard, I'm a terrible detective._

“But, you’re like, the club leader.” Thing 1 whines which raises Dave’s hackles again, “We need you there! You got skills! We all still remember what you did to that monster _bitch_ last year!”

“...What?”

That was a clue, Dave guessed, about his alternate’s self’s past. But Dave had never been a leader of anything himself so he just frowned unsure, thinking _ah, oh yikes, that's some casual patriarchal language right there._

“Yeah, that was tight,” Thing 2 is taking his turn to nod now, much to Dave’s intense displeasure. 

_Please let this interaction be over soon._

“Oh _that_ …” Dave says as lazily and uncaring as he can, “I’m sure you guys can manage without me. I don’t care.”

The intense glee both of the boys get in their eyes makes Dave regret opening his mouth at all. _Can I just walk away? Are you allowed to walk away in class?_ Dave thinks, suddenly very aware that not knowing the rules left him terribly vulnerable. 

_It is unfair._ He wants to whine.

“Can do, man.” Thing 1 bumps Dave on the shoulder, he gives him a kind of grimace smile in return.

“Just make sure you are there tomorrow, we got to send out the message to those monsters, that they ain’t welcome.”

 _Is….is this hyperbole? Are there draculas here??_ Anything would make sense really. Time and Space was infinite. A vampire high school sounded familiar in a distant way. 

“Sure,” Dave says weakly edging away, he had absolutely no intention of being near these people again.

 _Maybe I should move to a different chair?_ He is prevented from doing so when a teacher walks in.

She is a tough looking lady, with a headscarf and a kind of golden-black skin that could probably turn as dark as night if left left out in the sun. She stares at Dave for a moment with piercing green eyes.

 _Those are dangerous eyes_. Dave blinks, _oh no._

Self-consciously, Dave notices that he is tapping his foot. _What did alternate Dave do to her?_

“Hello class!” She greets enthusiastically, all coldness dissipating. Everyone takes their respective seats but do not immediately stop talking.

Looking around, Dave notices that some kids are avoiding his gaze while others are nodding at him. _Is this normal? Do they know him-me? Do they like me?_

_Some of them clearly do…. but…._

He gulps.

There is something _very_ unsettling about this.

Dave shifts his focus back to the teacher. She doesn't seem mad that most of the students are talking, so that’s nice, but that means whatever intensity he felt from her is directed at him alone. 

The din naturally slows, and then stops when the teacher finally says “Settle down.” The class settles. The teacher clasps her hands together.

“I know we are supposed to be covering biomes today but seeing as how tomorrow is _special_ , I thought we may move the syllabus around a little and learn about spatial distribution and migration…” her eyes sparkle for a second, “With special regards to trolls.”

_Trolls!?_

Dave sits up straighter. Trolls were on Earth. That’s amazingly great news because that meant there wasn’t a universe separating him from his friends.

The classroom erupts around Dave, which is startling, they are speaking loud enough to the point where the teacher has to wave her arms around a bit to regain their attention.

“Now, class, that's not nice!” She shakes her head, hints of the coldness are back. “I know you were all looking forward to biomes but that’s just tough luck! Tomorrow will be a stunning moment in history and we should all do our best to be receptive and diplomatic ... even if not all of you agree with the integration process”.

She looks at Dave directly again as she says that last bit. He slumps a little in his chair, feeling very unsure. 

“Anyway, I thought we should cover basic troll-human history...”

 _History? So trolls have been on Earth for a while_? Dave frowns at the cacophony of still and silent grandfather clocks in his head. _Earth exists because the Troll world ended... But now they exist together. Alpha and Beta playing at once.  
  
_ Dave starts doodling out Karkat's cancer sign absently while his mind spun in tumultuous circles. _How long ago did this timeline break? Was it my fault or…?_ Dave’s concerns are interrupted when he suddenly realizes that he isn’t even 100% sure this is Earth.

“Trolls arrived on Earth…”

_Oh, never mind. Mystery solved._

“…prior to the industrial age. The space refugee vessels arrived from Alternia carrying young trolls of every blood colour…”

“Yawn!” Thing 2 verbalized rather vocally, prompting several students to laugh in the background. The teacher’s eyebrows furrowed but she continued dutifully nonetheless.

“…They were successfully assimilated into human society; however, due to conflicting cultural values and practices trolls were kept separate from human beings, living in special designated communities all across the continent. One of the largest communities is in this very city!”

 _And oh_! Trolls on the same planet _AND_ in the same city. It was too coincidental to be an accident, but either way it was tremendously good luck.

The teacher continues to talk about troll society and values which Dave tunes out of, mind too abuzz to really stay present. Drifting in and out of lecture, it seems that trolls had a hard time on Earth as they were a minority who were taken advantage of and had their technology stolen.

Just classic human things really.

When the teacher goes into the technical and scientific details of the hemospectrum, Dave fully tunes out. It’s too much like Kankri or Karkat ranting at him. Thinking of Karkat makes his heart ache and his fingers twitch. Seeing the cancer symbols he frowns and switches to drawing spiralgraphs. 

_Where was he? Was he here? Was he okay?_

The teacher changes topics without Dave realizing it. He only catches a bit about troll districts and some kind of riot. 

Dave finally reels in his emotions when he hears,“…And that’s why the school is now offering troll friendly classes!”

There is some discontent from the other kids at that, probably unhappy at the thought of having to take more classes. Dave doesn't have enough context to know.

Before he is ready, the bell rings interrupting the teacher’s recount of the conditions on Alternia that prompted the trolls to come to Earth in the first place. Something about murder clowns. _Which, like- mood._

Dave gets up to leave quickly, hoping to avoid another unnecessary conversation with Thing 1 and Thing 2, when the teacher calls his name.

“Dave, could you see me for a minute.”

“Sure.” _Am I in trouble because I wasn’t paying enough attention?_ It was an odd, yet familiar feeling.  
  
 _Pretty sure teachers can't hit students though,_ Dave thinks before shuffling to the side and waiting for everyone else to leave. On top of everything, no one really mentioned how long school was. Dave was beginning to feel fatigue set in, and was only a little grateful to have the chance to quietly alone.

Sunlight was filtering through the window blinds that bordered the far edge of the room. It was pleasant how it illuminated the desks. _Rose would like it_ , Dave thinks, yawning.

A beat of silence went through the room when it was finally empty. When the teacher speaks she seems mildly worried.

“Dave”, she says, tone dampened, “I don’t know if you were listening to the lecture but I meant what I said about tomorrow being an important day. It’s going to happen regardless of what you and your friends do. You can’t stop it, and I know that makes you angry.”

_Stop what?! Angry about what!?_

Dave doesn’t quiet let himself frown in front of her but his tired mind is once again _reeling._

 _I’m never angry_. Is what Dave wants to say, but that’s not true here, because he doesn’t _know who he is._

_Oh no…. Did the other Dave, like, do something?_

_-Did I…?_

“I know the principle already talked to you and outlined what your club can and can’t do. I know you aren’t alone in your feelings, as most of the town is set to show up tomorrow. I also know that the sense of community you get from this kind of behaviour is important for a boy your age, and your _familial_ background.”

Dave did not like the way she said that, but even if he wanted to say something he found his tongue had turned into concrete.

“-But I for one, will not condone any violence in or around the school, especially tomorrow at intake day. Do I make myself clear?”

Dave knows immediately he is missing something _big._

Deciding not having any memory was awful, Dave asks as gently as he can, “What’s so important about tomorrow? What’s happening?” 

“I, uh…” Dave knows he is absolutely supposed to know this, this is why she is caught off guard, “It’s the first day of the government mandated integration programme starting tomorrow.” 

She was silent for a moment then chastising, “ _You_ of all people should know that!”

Yes, yes I _should_ , Dave blinks because the word _body snatcher_ comes to mind again. Ugly and demonic.

“Of course, I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

The teacher clearly doesn't believe him though, “Well, Mr. Strider, I have it on good authority _that_ has not always been the case for these kinds of events.”

Dave spends a moment trying to decide if he was being threatened but the teacher misinterprets the silence as insolence and deflates.

“I guess you are going to do whatever it is you are going to do and nothing I say will stop you… Just try not to hurt anyone _again_ , okay? The town can’t handle that kind of publicity twice.”

She lets out a sigh and turns away. The conversation was over.

Dave is left there like a statue, blood feeling thick and cold.

 _Hurt... someone_? 

_A Dave wouldn’t just hurt someone, would they?_ _I_ _can trust yourself, can’t I?_ Dave drags his hands down his face, _ughh what did this Dave do?_

Like a long forgotten poison, Dave has to stomp hard on an image of Bro laughing at him saying what a bad person he is- how weak and evil, only good for _one_ thing.

Dave shudders.

 _Bro was wrong though,_ he reminds himself _, I’m like a cool knight now. I got good guy pajamas to prove it. Knights were usually good guys, so this Dave probably got in a fight with… someone who deserved it, hopefully?_

Dave turns to leave. The sunlight he was admiring earlier is gone making the classroom look a lot more dark and empty. His mind feels heavier, if that was possible.

_But what does that mean for someone who never had the chance to become a knight? Become something different?_ _Did I merge a timeline? Is that what happened?_

Because there was no way to know Dave frowns. _Some answers would be great right about now._

Dave’s halfway through absconding into the hall when Thing 1 and Thing 2 approach him again, having obviously been waiting for him.

_I swear to Gog if they want my lunch money…_

“What'd she want?” Thing 2 asks but it's not unkind. That more than anything sets off alarms. _Are these my friends?_ Dave blinks, distantly horrified, _Oh, no they absolutely are._

“Nothing,” Dave shrugs, not stopping as he pushes past them. It looks like Thing 1 and 2 want to eat with Dave, which is extremely unappetizing. "I'm busy." He says like it means something.

“Making posters for the protest?” one of them inquires, miffed at Dave’s brusqueness.

“Nah, I have to take a shit.” Dave lies as he peels off into the nearest boys bathroom. He opens one of the awful bright yellow stalls and sits down on the toilet seat in silence. No one else is in the bathroom which is a mild miracle.

Dave remembers seeing a packed lunch in his bag, but eating it in the cramped stall would make him feel like Lindsay Lohan from Mean Girls so he pointedly refrains, despite how amazing troll Lindsay Lohan is.

 _Okay… okay, okay okay,_ the relative silence is nice, _what to unpack first..._

Dave’s mind is blank so instead he thinks, _What would Rose do? She’d probably try to organize all the facts she did know in a clear concise list complete with colour coding, footnotes, and highlights.’_

Welp, apparently:

  * Time broke, which sucks.
  * He woke up in a timeline that isn’t exactly doomed, but isn’t all that great either. 
  * Where it broke is unclear but the screaming broken clocks in the back of his brain won’t shut up.
  * He bodysnatched a Dave, which is… _. Horrible._
  * Dirk is here but not really. He probably won’t hit Dave, but it’s maybe better if he doesn’t know that his Dave was replaced incase.
  * Everyone else is still missing, even though there was something big happening in this city at this _exact place in time._
  * Whatever it was involved troll integration and Dave.
  * This Dave was probably not a great person.



Dave blinks at that last thought, still not wanting to believe it. But, the Geography teacher had said: _“Just try not to hurt anyone again, okay? The town can’t handle that kind of publicity twice.”_

 _Again._ ****

_Again was the key word._

_Who did I hurt and why was it likely to happen again?_ Dave wonders, something slimy and unpleasant curling up in his gut.

 _Did this Dave have anger issues or something?_ Dave poked at his mostly familiar chest as if ‘anger problems’ was something tangible and could be felt. 

_Tomorrow things will be clearer._ Dave decides. There wasn’t much he could do right now, maybe he could ask Dirk if he was careful. Or even better the therapist he was supposed to see later. _They had to be pretty confidential... probably._

 _If it was a real therapy session they might have records of any assaults I committed- He committed._ Dave closed his eyes, choking down a wave of sickness. That was a pretty viable option.   
  
_Alright, sure._

Feeling slightly better that he had a goal now, even if only a minor one, Dave moves to exit the stall and wander around more before the second half of the day starts. 

He has a hand on the handle when he hears the creak of a door. Someone was entering the bathroom. Which would ordinarily be no big deal, especially since Dave was just leaving; but this particular person was singing.

Signing with their _voice_.

_It’s so familiar…_

“JOHN!” The revelation hit harder than a meteoroid. Dave yells the name as he forces the door open, all pretense of coolness gone.

And it _is_ John. In his full derpy glory, black hair, buck teeth, blue clothes.

For a moment, the only thing Dave can feel is relief; his friends were here somewhere! Everyone's collective efforts hadn’t been in vain.

 _Something is still wrong though._ Dave’s heart was beating loudly in his chest. He reaches out for a touch, a fist-bump, high five, hug? He doesn't care. He just wants to verify that John is real and there with him; however, as he extends his arm John flinches away.

It’s a small motion but it is enough for the internal alarm bells in Dave’s mind to go off. He’s done that exact action enough to know that SOMETHING IS WRONG in big flashing neon letters.

 _Okay,_ Dave reevaluates the situation.

John didn’t look happy to see him.

“Oh, uh,” John stammered, his back against the sinks, “Hello, Mr. Strider.”

 _Ew,_ is Dave's first thought, then: _What. The. Fuck._

With a sinking heart Dave realizes he can’t be joking because he look _s terrified._

“Sup.” Dave says weakly not knowing what else to do. _Was the room always this blurry, and kind of spinning?_ He really needs the sensation to stop, but he forces his mouth to keep working.

“So, how ya’ been?,” Dave drawls, while John grows to more and more resemble a cornered animal. Fingers digging into the sink’s porcelain, like claws 

Dave moves back, making himself as small as possible. Empathy squeezing his heart to the point where he wanted to puke.

“Oh, g-good,” John sniffs, slightly shaking. His eyes are locked on the floor but they dart momentarily to the door.

_He wants to escape._

_John wants to run away..._

_John wants to run away from me._

_Oh God, was the person I hurt John?_

The thought is revolting. 

In a flash, Dave suddenly and painfully understands Dirk. His own Dirk- An amazing guy who’s one alternative fracture became _Bro_.

 _I’m not so different from him then._ Dave unravels a bit. _After all, I’m a Strider too._

Dave swallows, throat thick with the phantom of bad blood. The dread that was coursing through his heart cut like razor blades. _How in infinite space did this happen?_

_Nevermind, it happened because time hates me, and this probably isn’t my John._

To get answers though, Dave needs _questions._

“John,” He forms his words carefully, “Do you remember who I am?”

“You're uh… Dave Strider, John fidgets uncomfortably like he wants to please whatever version of Dave that is standing in front of him but doesn’t know how, “You lead H.A.T. and the guy who…” He flinches again, not finishing his sentence. 

It's clear John expects Dave to hit him again and that visceral reaction does something squirmy in Dave’s guts. It was one of his worst fears after all, something he had jammed about on the meteor to whoever would listen.

_I don't want to hurt people._

It all came down to that.

_Yet, here I am._

“They guy who…what?” Dave prompts trying to sound kind, but probably sounds demanding to John. _Everything Bro had said had been a demand in some way._ Dave notes bitterly, _Get down on your knees, hold this sword, fight until you puke…._

He wants to puke.

“Look, I don’t really have time for this okay,” John seethes, and that’s shocking in its own way, discordant somehow like an unpermitted action, “If you are just going to beat me up again, could you do it quickly?”

The words and micro-actions sink in like fangs.

“Beat you…up?” Dave stutters, because he cannot seem to do anything right at all.

_Other Dave is a... bully?_

_No, no, no it was worse than that._

The admission is just something else odd and awful to add to the mounting pile of evidence.

_And ughhh it was probably a power tripping thing and ughhhhh alternate timelines were the WORST._

It took a while to wrap his head around it- John was a _hero_ and the Dave of this world delighted in beating up heroes.

_I'm a bad guy, got it._

_'Face it little man, you are a monster.'_ The disembodied voice of Bro invades quickly before Dave can shoo it away.

The scared John, not privy to Dave's internal demons continues, “If it’s all the same to you, I know we must both be pretty busy. So, if you could _get it over with_ then I would love to move on with my day.” 

_And wow,_ he must have gotten strength from somewhere because he is on an absolute roll telling off his tormentor. Dave would be proud if he wasn’t in the line of fire.

“I would never hurt you.” Dave shakes his head, not really sure if he could handle a confrontation right now.

“Just do it, Dave, I want to leave.”

“I-I’m serious, If I did anything in the past, I’m really sorry... I wasn’t… It wasn’t the real me.”

John searches Dave's face for the trick. It is pointless because he can’t see past Dave’s shades.

 _I hated not seeing Bro’s eyes_. Dave remembers. Dejectedly, he removes his own eyewear as fast as he can. Dave tries to explain again, to make the right words come out- to make this okay, but instead all he can do do is grasp his shades in anxious and unhappy silence. Bare eyes failing miserably to adjust to the fluorescent lights.

John just looks at Dave’s red irises blankly, clearly perturbed.

"They are so red." John mouths almost imperceptibly. 

Dave knows he did this all wrong, he almost wants to start crying.

_So many things are wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin. Someone else could probably untangle this mess better than me._

But no one else is _here_. Dave is alone-His friends now _other people._

John blinks, unsure and fragile, which was worse than all the screaming silent clocks in the world, because he was the _strong one._ Emotionally, physically, and spiritually _strong._

_And I’m the reason he’s not! I abused the strength right out of him…_

Dave spirals, before gasping _, Is this what Bro liked? Is this what the other Dave likes?_

To even think this way feels _poisonous._

Unable to stand it, Dave knows he has to get out of there. Looking to the door, Dave feels his feet moving. 

“You’re just leaving me alone?” a confused John exhales, as Dave awkwardly turns tail. 

“Yes! You are the Heir of Breath, and I’m the Knight of Time and no one is hurting anyone else again.” Dave says in a flurry cheeks burning.

“Heir of Breath?” John kind of makes a little gasping sound. For a split second, there is _something_ there- a flash of recognition in John’s eyes. 

_And ohhh._

Dave’s belly twists with hope but kicks himself because a moment later the spark flickers and dies.

_I must be imagining it._

“What are you talking about?” John asks hollowly, voice condemning and blank. 

“No nothing, please forget it, sorry.”

Eyes burning, Dave puts his shades back on to hide. A cold thought enters his mind _: Why doesn’t he remember if I do? Is this some kind of torture?_

_But a lot of survival is just complicated torture, really..._

Dave exits and absconds down the hallway and out the door before John can further respond to the misplaced comments.

After he is far enough away, Dave pauses to catch his breath. He looks down at his hands wondering how they can be both familiar and so foreign at the same time. _They_ seem like hands that would belong to him. Though they must be foreign somehow, stolen and complicit as they are.

Dave’s breath hitches unexpectedly and he has to fight to maintain control. 

_I have to go._ The clockwork in his head screeched with agreement, so Dave picks himself up again.

 _I’m close to understanding something awful_ , Dave knows, but he can’t quite get there. Not today. At this point, he aches so badly that he just wants to let his thoughts go.

Dave’s best human friend hates him and he _hurts_ people, _cool._

 _I’m the Bro of this world. Toxic and antagonistic._ The thought leaves a bad taste in his mouth and ice in his stomach. 

_Is it okay to just leave?_ Dave staggers through the outside doors unsure. _It would be a stupid rule if people couldn't._  
  
No one stops him so it must be fine.

"Okay. _Okay._.." Dave breaths in the fresh air in big gulps. He wants this all to be over.

"Fucking high school man," Dave laments knowing that this was only the first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote TONS so if anyone wants more please let me know :-)
> 
> Clearly, I was not a good geology student :-(


	2. Green Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a conversation with Rose and Jade. Rose senses something isn't right.

_There's a very big difference between above and below_

_A friend foe, or bro_

* * *

  
  


“Jesus Christ, what was all that about!” John Egbert just had his life flash before his eyes. 

Alone in a secluded bathroom with Dave Strider! It was a wonder he was alive. Last time he was remotely near Dave he was _‘accidentally_ ’ pushed down a flight of stairs to a chorus of laughter.

 _‘That’s what you get for not joining us, Egbert!’_ they had called. As if somehow that made the offer of camaraderie any more appealing.

John rather prided himself on his careful vigilance, so this was a horrible oversight to happen _again._

_How could I not know Dave was there?_

_Maybe I'm just too excited?_ John rationalizes as he carefully left the bathroom looking both ways down the hall. 

It was a historic time after all, Of course he _should_ be excited. Tomorrow was a _big deal_ and John wanted to hear his friend’s opinions before he ran into Dave- or at least Dave’s weird clone.

_Because, like- what was that?_

Walking back to the area where his friends hung out, John found himself slowing. What did he even say to them? Did he tell them? It was a _really_ bizarre interaction. 

John had been certain he was going to at least get an arm broken, but somehow Dave was almost more scared of him? Could that even be possible?

 _It’s really weird._ John frowns before deciding, _actually, this whole day had been strange_! 

That morning John had woken up with an absolutely killer headache after dreaming about a blinding white light, and then at school everyone had been acting really moody and distant. Like how animals might before an earthquake. 

Tomorrow was going to be _really cool_ , but lately it kind of seemed like maybe it was just John that was optimistic. 

_Hmm, maybe it makes sense that Dave was so strange. There was no way he would be interested in tomorrow’s event,_ John rationalized, but no no that was wrong too because he wasn’t upset _exactly._

_What a mystery!_

John fidgeted, looking around again before turning the corner. The coast was clear. No one was paying him the slightest attention.

_Was this a trap? Maybe it was a trap._

_What kind of trap involves calling someone an Heir of Breath though?_ It was an awfully weird racial slur. Usually Dave just called John a _loser._

There is something _familiar_ about it- John wanted to dwell on it but his headache was returning, and suddenly he just wanted the comfort of his friends.

Quickening his pace, John is instantly relieved when he hears an elegant voice call out, “John? Is that you? You were gone quite a while.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rose!” John gives her a little wave. Both her and Jade return it.

“Lo, John did you get in another fight?” Jade wonders aloud.

 _Jade is my cousin right?_ John blinks rapidly. Why was he questioning that? Y _eah, of course, God I’m being dumb today. We are practically identical so why-_

Rose shoots both Jade and John a warning look, clearly worried.

“Welllll, it wasn’t a fight _exactly_.” John tries but that just makes Rose’s expression more severe. 

“Oh really? Well statistically, nine out of ten times you have failed to show up at the regular time it is because you were being either physically assaulted or forcefully detained against your will.”

“Detention isn’t exactly forced detainment-” John pouts.

“But _why_ were you in all those detentions?”

 _Ugh_ , John thinks, _there is no fooling Rose._

“Beeecause I got busted for fighting.”

Rose makes a there-you-go gesture. 

It’s pretty unfair, it’s not really a true fight if it’s just one person getting their asses handed to them by what amounts to a _gang_ , but apparently the school board doesn’t see it that way.

 _‘You are better than this young man,_ they would say even though it’s John’s eyes that are black and swollen, no one else's.

“So why were you in a fight, John?”

“I said I wasn’t!” John whines halfheartedly but then blinks, taken aback when he levels a look at Rose.

_Huh, in this light she kind of looks like Dave_. John immediately slams the door on that nonsensical thought because Rose was nice and Dave was some kind of maniac, she would absolutely abhor the comparison. 

“You for sure were! Jade singsongs, wild black hair flying everywhere, “Your hand is bleeding.”

“My hand is... what?”

John looks down. His hand _is_ bleeding a bit but not much. 

“Oh.” He can’t figure out how it could have happened. A scratch in the bathroom maybe? Maybe his own finger nails are digging in too deeply. Either way he doesn’t feel it. 

“It... doesn’t hurt.” He says truthfully while he sits down and pulls out his own bag of lunch. It is almost certainly filled with cake, which he hates but chewing might save him from more fussing.

Rose continues to observe quietly, but does magnanimously trade John an orange when he asks. 

The three of them munch contentedly is silence, in the weird alcove in the fire escape. It is an ideal place for breaks because the door doesn’t lead directly outside and so isn’t alarmed; additionally, because there are usually no fires, it is usually empty even during the busiest part of the day. It’s quiet, nice, and there is even a little window one could enjoy looking out at the school parking lot from.

John zones out while peeling his orange counting all the staff cars for no other reason other than just to see if he can.

_Thirteen._ _How unlucky._

It was a moment like any other, and all of John’s friends were _there_ , but somehow it felt like they weren’t- Like there were empty spaces all around him. It was rather perplexing.

“John, are you there?” Jade’s voice cuts through his introspection.

“Yes. S-sorry!”

“Did something actually happen to you?” Rose interrogated, “You seem a little shaken despite words to the contrary.”

“Um… kinda.”

“What do you mean _kinda_?”

“I just mean kinda! It wasn’t bad or violent, it was just weird!”

“Weird how?” Jade cocks her head to the side. 

“Yes, please explain.”

Despite loving to share, John finds he doesn’t actually want to this time. He couldn’t think of a good enough reason _why_ though so he just says, “It was Dave okay, let’s change the subject! Are you guys excited about tomorrow?”

Rose looks like she doesn’t want to let things slide but John’s question makes Jade’s face light up.

“Of course I am!” Jade squeaks, joy flowing all around her, “Think of all the new friends we could make!”

“Right! Exactly!” John chats with Jade animatedly about the possibilities for several happy minutes. 

Rose is conspicuously silent though, like a black hole in the corner. “Rose, are you not excited? John asks when Jade is done.

“Hm.” She takes a second to place a bobby pin in her short blonde hair, “No.” 

“Well, that’s blunt, can I ask why?”

“Of course you can ask, John, but whether or not I answer is the real question.”

John bites his lip a little unsure why Rose was acting this way, “ _Will_ you answer?”

“Hm, what was the question?”

“Aw, Rose, quit the mind games. If you are nervous you can just tell us.” Jade offers.

Rose looks at before looking up at the ceiling, letting out an exasperated sigh, “I suppose that’s true.” 

“Woah, you actually are nervous?” John tries to keep any visible surprise off his face.

Rose hums, “To be honest, I am _very_ worried. Why the government would pick Prospit, of all places, is beyond me. Our whole city has had a bad reputation for riots, and our school has had several instances of violence, not to mention the numerous clubs dead set against the program led by …”

She doesn’t say Dave’s name.

 _He’s not Voldemort,_ jeez John wants to say but doesn’t.

The staircase is silent for a beat.

“What _did_ he do to you today?” Rose looks directly at John who squirms under her purple gaze.

“Nothing.”

Both Jade and Rose frown at that, clearly in disbelief. 

“Interesting, care to elaborate?”

“He caught me alone in the bathroom…”

“Oh no! This is why you should let us go to the bathroom with you!” Jade jumps in.

“I-I… you guys can’t come to the boys bathroom with me! That’s indecent.” John blushes, “Y-You guys, can’t be with me _all_ the time!”

Rose hums again. 

John takes a deep breath, “Anyway! It was the bathroom that no one uses so I thought I’d be safe.”

“The one with the awful bright yellow stalls?”

“Yeah. Exactly! Anyway, he’s in there for some reason instead of torturing small animals or whatever he does with his free time. I walked in and suddenly he just burst out of the stall screaming my name.”

“Did he hurt you?” Jade asks, eyes wide.

“No, no that’s just it! He didn’t do anything! In fact it was really weird! He started to ask me all these questions and he said, and I quote, ‘I would never hurt you.’” 

Rose snorts, “Clearly a ploy.”

“I don’t know... I thought it was, but he seemed really sincere. When he saw me panicking he backed off and let me go. I even yelled at him a bit and he didn’t get mad. In fact, he… seemed-” John trailed off not sure how to explain the rest. 

Rose looks like she is calculating something. “This is a surprising development, last time he caught you alone you had to be hospitalized.”

“For like only a day.” John says under his breath.

Rose continues, “We can only assume he is planning something quite sinister for the immediate future. We best be on our guard.”

“You- think?” 

“I know.” 

Jade looks between Rose and John. “So that’s it then? You really didn’t get any new bruises?” 

“Yeah, that’s it. Oh, wait no… he called me something really strange.”

“Another obscure insult that we have to look up?”

“That’s what I thought too! But...no..”

John stills. _Why is this so uncomfortable to say?_ _It’s probably just something dumb, like out of a video game_.

“He called me an Heir of Breath.”

Jade and Rose go silent.

“Is it sort of cold in here?” Jade breaks the spell. “It felt really cold for a second.”

“Hm. Perhaps it is time I had a word with Mr. Strider.” Rose declares standing up and dusting off her dark skirt.

“Wait what?” You don’t have to do that!” John protests when Rose’s words sink in. Rose could be kind of scary, but Dave was an _actual_ criminal. _He had almost killed someone before, for goodness sakes!_

“I’m afraid I do, John.” She sweeps a strand of her fair hair behind a delicate ear, “I am concerned there might be something bigger going on here and Dave’s behaviour only adds to my concerns.”

“Oopse! Looks like you missed your chance.” Jade squints before pointing her finger at the window, “That’s Dave leaving right now.” 

_Huh?_

Sure enough, it _is_ Dave. His shoulders are slumped and he looks pale. An orange car pulls up, Dave hovers near it for a second. A young blonde man in a white shirt in the driver’s seat, says something to him.

“Is that Dave’s brother? I thought he was in jail?” John asks but no one answers.

Dave looks around, like he doesn’t want to be seen. His gaze drifts to the fire escape window and lingers. Panicking, John and Jade quickly duck away, but Rose stands her ground unblinking.

By the time John and Jade look back Dave and the car have disappeared.

“Maybe he’s sick or something,” Jade offers. It is a good theory but doesn’t entirely fit.

Rose frowns, her black lacquered nails curling into a fist.

“Whatever the case, you two should be extra careful tomorrow. There is something definitely wrong here and I sense that tomorrow is going to end badly _regardless_ of Dave’s influence.”

John nods blankly at Rose’s words. The bell rings which drowns out Jade’s protests.  
  
  


* * *

  
John probably would have skipped school entirely the next day if he knew how true Rose’s prediction was going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the great feedback everyone! I'll keep posting I guess!~ :-) 
> 
> Most of the story was written in 2014 but I don't actually remember homestuck that well so if any one has an idea for improvement please let me know!~


	3. Nobody Weird Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave talks to Dirk and tries therapy. The results are mixed.

_Enchanted as a rabbit_

_That my life is a dream_

_Well everything is never_

_Just as it seems_

* * *

After getting his breathing under control, Dave stares out at the road behind the school and frowns. _I have no idea how to get home_. He saw the path on the way in, but he was pretty distraught, so navigation was definitely a task he didn’t feel up to.

 _Wait, didn’t Dirk say to call him?_ He did.

Dave goes through his bag and finds a phone. If there was any proof of a kind God, it was both this and bio-metric locks. 

_Huh, no data. Just contacts._ _Kinda weird._ Dave thinks before hitting the dial button on Dirk.

 _Please don’t be mad,_ he wants to beg, but instead coolly says, “Heyyy, can you come come get me?”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! Please just come.”

“It’s like 1pm, Dave,” Dirk says, but Dave can hear the worry in his voice.

“Please?”

Silence and then a soft, “...Okay.”

There are a few clouds in the sky so Dave goes to sit undercover while he waits. When Dirk does pull up Dave is hit with a renewed wave of gratitude and guilt. Gratitude because Dirk wasn’t Bro, and he was so much kinder kinder than Dave could have ever dreamed, but guilt because Dave was essentially a stranger taking advantage of him.

 _This care is meant for someone else,_ he reminds himself shuddering.

The car pulls up and Dirk calls out to him.

“I’m fine. I just, uh, threw up. Food poisoning, probably.” Dave says lamely as he gets in. He can feel eyes watching him which puts him on edge. He just wants to go.

“I know you’re stressed out, buddy.” Dirk says after some time on the road, he’s clearly trying to be soothing, but it's stilted and awkward, “We can stop somewhere to kill some time before I take you to therapy, I mean… If you want?”

“Sure.” Dave says without thinking, “Thank you.”

Dirk’s frown deepens, “You’re not _usually_ this agreeable. Did something happen to you today?”

Dave resigns himself to the fact that he can’t make any safe moves in a strange body. _Is it uncool to hangout with your brother after a breakdown in the mirrorverse?_ Seemed like the answer was _yes._

 _How much of a douchebag am I?_ “No.” Dave lies, Dirk doesn’t press so they both drive on in silence. Dave leans his head against the glass but casually side-eyes Dirk. _He’s not so different, is he? Neither is John?_ _So why am I different?_

 _Are the real John or Dirk still under there somehow…?_ Dave wonders, _like maybe their memories are just covered up?_

The question: _Why aren’t mine_? Is haunting.

Dave is stuck stewing in his emotions, only coming back to reality when Dirk pulls over near a park. The both of them get out, with Dirk pointing to a food vendor when Dave looks back at Dirk in confusion. _Fish tacos. Fuck yes._ Dave’s mouth waters as he finds them a seat on a bench. He hadn't actually had lunch, funny he had forgotten.

Dirk returns with two packages, and two bottles of juice. “I know you were just sick but if you are still hungry…”

“I am, thank you.” Dave says stiffly trying to tamp down on his reflexive guilt over the lie. He visibly brightens though when he sees that the juice is apple. _Nice._ All things were much better with AJ. This at least, was a universal constant. 

The two brothers sit and eat together, chewing in sync on a park bench. It strikes Dave as something that is probably just as weird for this Dirk as it is for him. Desperate to not have so much awkward silence, Dave swallows and says, “Dirk, can I ask you a question?” 

“Go for it lil’ man.”

“Am I a bad person?”

This catches the strange version of Dirk off guard, “I don’t know,” He says carefully. _And oh wow, Dirk wasn’t even going to defend him. Big yikes. I_ _probably shouldn’t be sad, it's not me,_ Dave reminds himself, but he is at least _a little_ upset. His chest is too tight for him not to be.

“I think you’re just a bit messed up right now and in with the wrong crowd. Still a little fucked up from Bro. We both are.”

_Oh._

_Oh no._

_So, Bro is still a thing?_

The food turns to ash in Dave's mouth but the sheer impossibility of the situation has made it hard for that particular truth to sink in. _Alpha, Beta, something jailbroken and scratched._

He blinks.

 _How can Dirk and Bro both exist- as well as me- simultaneously?_ The crawling sensation of wrong time returns. The heaviness of a broken timeline sounding like so much shattered glass. Dave suppresses a gag. 

Not really sure how to respond, Dave slurps on his juice so he doesn’t have to answer. He tries to just focus on Dirk’s body language.

What he finds doesn't bode well. It is almost as if Dirk is bracing himself after his words, it’s not unlike Jon- like he expects some kind of blow up. _Is that it then? Alternate Dave never went on an adventure and got friends so he grew twisted in Bro’s shadow? Complete with anger and daddy issues?_ The evidence was pretty damning. 

Dave closes his eyes and the silence stretches, eventually Dave continues, “Is that why I'm in therapy?” 

“What…? No… I mean a little, it didn’t help, but that’s not why it’s mandatory.”

“It’s _mandatory?_ I mean, of course it is mandatory, but um, why?”

Dirk is wearing a strange expression again, “You know why, Dave.”

“Could you just tell me, I’ve been… confused lately.”

“It’s court ordered.”

_Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Going to go ahead and put another tally in the oh-shit-I'm-a-complete-psychopath-box._

“I blamed myself, you know…” Dirk says softly, voice dripping with self loathing. _Oh no, please stop, It’s not you I guarantee._ Dave wants to say but is too frozen.

“I thought, maybe I could have done more to shield you from _him…_ ”

“-I’m not angry!” Dave manages to interject. “I can’t be. You did your best- I'm _sure_ you did your best.” If this Bro was anything like Dave’s own then nothing Dirk did would have mattered, Bro always got what he wanted. Dave didn’t want to hear any of this, let alone relive any part of it. “L-look can we just get this therapy thing over with?”

Dirk lapse into silence again. 

_I should tell him_ , Dave thinks suddenly feeling like something _malicious_ instead of just a stranger. This was Dirk's world- his _life. If he knew_ _It would be easier_ , _but could Dirk believe me?_ The possibility of rejection was too much right now and was making Dave hesitate. 

_There is a lot of history here…D_ ave simply did not know enough about _anything._

 _Did I technically kill the other Dave by taking over? How do you tell a guy you killed his brother while simultaneously being his dead brother…?_ _There is no good answer,_ Dave decides.

Dirk flips open his phone to look at the clock. “Yeah, I guess we can just be early.” He balls up the remnants of both the fish tacos in a napkin then expertly throws them into the trash can. 

Back in the car, Dave is aware enough to notice that they were leaving a suburb and now entering a larger city. Despite the urbanization there were still trees everywhere. They contrasted the mechanical gears and lava of Dave’s mind profoundly.

To distract himself, Dave imagines Jade and Kanaya. _They at least would like the vibrancy_ , he knows. That was a soothing thought in its own way.

* * *

The trees and apartments melt away as the two brothers approach a tall, intimidating whitewashed building. Dirk parks and leads Dave inside.

_Okay, okay, okay... I guess my mission is to find out what’s going on. Starting with what I’ve done._

Dave blinks.

_Simple enough._

Dave and Dirk take an elevator to the 14th floor. It’s really the 13th but Dave doesn’t comment on it.

The room they walk into is lavender themed. Dave guesses it’s supposed to be calming. Though it’s not as nice as the car ride as there are no trees outside the windows. The walls themselves are bare except for some framed certificates and a shelf full of manila folders. All in all it’s a little boring but not insidious. Dave would never guess this is where they send criminals.

There is a clean white desk at the centre of the floor that a receptionist is working at. She eyes Dave from behind her pink rimmed glasses with a complete lack of empathy.

“Strider, for his four o’clock appointment.” Dirk says from beside Dave, meanwhile Dave puts his hands in his pockets trying not to think of the exact minutes and seconds that need to pass.

“You’re _very_ early.” The receptionist lady mutters, annoyed. It’s unclear if she hates Dave in general or her job. She pulls out a folder and flips through it dutifully anyway. “Hm, well Ms. Mendicant doesn’t seem to have any prior engagements today. You can go on in.” 

She puts the folder away and presumably messages this Ms. Mendicant about the intrusion. Dirk nudges Dave toward the door, “I’ll wait here,” he says, nodding to the benches in the far corner. 

“You don’t have to.” Dave replies feeling a new twist of guilt. Dirk just shrugs.

The door leads to a similarly lavender themed hallway which seems to extend into forever with doors on either side. Luckily, all the doors have names and numbers printed on them. Dave finds the one labeled 'Mendicant' and knocks with no problem. Only hesitating a moment to remind himself that whatever he finds _it’s not really me._

The door is opened by a tall, dark skinned woman wearing an elegant white-grey dress. She looks vaguely familiar though Dave can’t think of a reason _why._

She seems remarkably less judgmental than the receptionist, so Dave takes that as a good sign and wanders in. She beckons towards an overly stuffed burgundy couch. The office itself is small, mostly just consisting of the couch, deck, and cabinets. There are also several kids drawings taped up near the back window. It makes Dave wonder what kinds of kids this lady deals with on a regular basis, some of the drawings are severely messed up. There is only one normal one depicting a firefly, though. Selfishly, Dave hopes that’s the one he did. 

“Hello, Dave. How are you feeling today?”

Dave shrugs, not sure where to begin. 

“Oh come on Dave; let’s not do another day of silence…”

_He-he doesn’t even talk?_

Dave decided that if he hadn’t already hated his alternate self, then he absolutely would now. _I would have killed for therapy back in my own timeline! This is such a waste..._

“We don’t have that many more meetings left and I feel as if we have made very little progress.”

 _Is there anyone I haven’t disappointed today?_ Dave wonders feeling wretched despite all promises to himself to not be emotionally invested. “I just don’t know where to begin.” He verbalizes before the therapist lady can grow any more visibly upset.

At his words, she brightens a bit, “Why don’t you start by telling me what happened today before school. You are here _very early_ , that is very unlike you. School should still be in.” 

S _he has a sweet voice_ , Dave notes, accented in a way that he can’t place. His attention wanders momentarily but snaps back to a vivid focus when she starts scratching idly on a clipboard. _If anyone knows what’s wrong with alternate Dave, this is the person,_ he decides. _Careful notes mean records._

“I dunno, I guess I just felt sick and had nothing better to do.”

He can't shake the feeling he is disappointing her, doing both therapy and his investigation wrong somehow. It makes Dave feel better to imagine Terezi here teasing him, “‘ _Look at the super sleuth, off to solve another crime.’_ She would laugh until her voice was hoarse. Dave shakes his head reluctantly clearing away the phantom memory.

The therapist repeats herself, “So, what happened today?”

“I- uh, saw a friend…”

“Oh?” 

“He didn’t recognize me, though.”

“What was this friend’s name?”

“John Egbert.”

“I see…”

There was no reaction which made Dave frown. John had been _terrified_ , who else could be the reason he was literally required by the law to be here? _What could possibly be worse?_

“…and where do you know this John boy from”.

“Ah- When we were kids we used to play together”.

“Was this before or after you changed schools?” She says this weirdly. Too much careful emphasis. 

“Before, I guess…?”

“Was he important to you?”

“Yeah. I mean- We did pretty much everything together.” _Make friends with aliens, escape the apocalypse, blow up a sun, die, become gods, create a hole in space-time, you know… normal kid stuff…_

Dave does not elaborate so the therapist continues, “If you were so close, why did he not recognize you today at school?”

Dave shrugs.

“Is there a reason, you think, he didn’t recognize you?” _Yes_ , Dave can’t say so he shrugs again.

“Well, it is not entirely impossible he simply forgot about you if your interactions happened when you were fairly young. People move on, this is a natural part of growing up.”

“The only thing natural about growing up is that it’s hard and no one understands.” Dave says this as dramatically and as straight faced as he can. After a beat Ms. Mendicant seems to catch on that he is joking with her.

She actually cracks a smile.

“Aww, Dave, this is the first time I’ve seen you in such a good mood, you are usually so stoic.”

 _I'm not-He’s not funny?_ This seems like _yet another_ minor tragedy. _Ew._ “I wouldn’t classify it as a good mood.” Dave says unsure how to phrase his request.

“How would you classify it?”

 _Rose would know what to do,_ Dave decides, _but Rose isn’t here._ To buy himself a few seconds he rearranges himself on the couch. _It’s not disingenuous to talk about being scared if I am actually scared, right?_ Dave ponders. _Therapists don't mind hat kind of thing, right?_ But, before he can open his mouth to properly ask, the therapist continues talking.

“Hm, well, I am glad to see that this John incident has not caused resurgence in your rage. Have the anger management techniques been working?” 

_Anger issues confirmed. That’s definitely awesome and cool and not at all alarming in any way._ “Sure. I just get my deep breathing on then I am all set. Like up by twenty points, game set and match, kind of set. ” Dave warbles growing uncomfortable. 

“That is a pleasant development. May I ask what prompted this sudden deviation from the norm?”

 _Time Travel. No, don’t say that._ Dave hums wishing his dumb brain would finally comes up with a plan. “Um… Seeing John, I guess.” He settles on.

Ms. Mendicant makes a ‘go on’ gesture.

“Like I said, he didn’t recognize me, but I was kind of glad because I didn’t think he’d like the person I’ve become.”

“Oh Dave!” Ms. Mendicant was positively beaming now, and wow it must be weird for her, “That’s a very insightful observation!” Dave begins to talk about John, but as he continues about his ‘dreams’ which are just modified stories from Skaia, he feels oddly better. _What does Rose call it? Catharsis?_

After the torrent of _maybe-more-truth-than he needed_ , Ms. Mendicant seems concerned.

It takes a second for Dave to realize it’s not any of the fucked up stories he just told her but rather the tears that are running down his face. He wipes at them. “Oh uh, sorry.” He closes his mouth with an audible click, extremely embarrassed. 

“It’s quite alright, you are allowed to cry here.” She hands Dave a tissue, “Are you okay though, do you need a break?”

“No- maybe? I don't know.” Dave fights to regain himself, blurting out the same question he selfishly asked Dirk, “Am I a bad person?” 

“I don’t believe in bad people, Dave.” Comes the therapist’s immediate answer.

“Why? I’ve _clearly_ done bad things?”

“You just made a lot of bad choices under a lot of bad circumstances.”

 _What choices?_ _If only there was a way to see them._ Dave slumps, eyes falling onto the files. The lightbulb he needed finally turns on, _because oh wait, there totally is._

“Can I see my record?”

“...What?” The therapist looks perplexed which is fair, all things considered. 

_Umm…_ _I need to think of something, ummmm..._ “I want to think about all the bad stuff I’ve done, to y’know, improve on it…?” Dave tries.

Ms. Mendicant slants her head in consideration, “Well… It’s a little unconventional; you’re not supposed to see those files or my notes from our previous session, unless you apply for the records when your sentence has been served... And even then they are supposed to be expunged because of your young age…”

“Please. I think seeing all that I’ve done, physically in front of me, would help a lot…” _Absolutely 100% pure and unfiltered truth. No artificial colours or flavours up in this bitch. Betty Crocker would cry her cold fish eyes out,_ Dave thinks desperately. 

“I suppose… If you think it will help your recovery….” Dave knows she is still skeptical but it doesn't matter if she actually acquiesces. 

“It will.”

“And not all of them, just the basics.”

“I understand.”

“Okay, well I cannot think of a reason why you should be barred from this.”

Resolutely, she turns around and prints off a few documents from her computer. She then grabs a huge orange folder from her shelf. From that she pulls out a smaller red folder and hands the documents to Dave, who is still reeling with disbelief that he got what he wanted. She then leans back in her chair politely, allowing him to read.

 _What I need to know about my bitch ass, emotionally fucked up alternate self is on here_. Dave blinks, _because that’s a totally fun and normal thought to have, and a totally nice thing to want to see._ Trembling, he flips the dossier open.

His first thoughts are that _therapy notes are boring_. Alternate-him doesn’t talk much so there isn’t anything to read there. Medically, it says, he suffers from possible psychotic delusions, and PTSD from growing up in close proximity to Bro _and oh look no one is surprised about that._

It's a lie _, he grew up with a Bro too- so why?_ But there was really no time to go down this dangerous thought path. _I need actual news,_ Dave reminds himself.

Still flipping through the pages, Dave finds out he has been going to these sessions for almost _two years_ after he was transferred from _Derse Secondary._

_No way that is a coincidence..._

After finishing the session notes, Dave realizes that the candy apple red folder he had just been handed is in fact a _criminal record_ complete with _court notes._ His trembling worsens as his heart rate kicks up.

Name.

District Court.

Date.

Age.

Time.

Proceedings.

_Boring, boring, boring…_ Then it lists the defendant…

And the _crime._

And…

_Oh no…_

Before realizing what he was doing, Dave throws the small folder across the office, the pages spraying everywhere like discarded feathers. Ms. Mendicant frowns in consternation, but softens again when she sees that Dave is close to having a real breakdown. 

“Can I uh, be excused, please?” He asks between shallow breaths because _just no…_

He feels so _sick._

 _Fuck offshoot timelines! Offshoot timelines are the unclean asscrack of the multiverse._ He can’t shout so instead he puts his arms around his torso and makes himself smaller, absolutely using sheer force of will to keep his fish tacos down.

Dizzyingly, everything _does_ make a lot more sense- his ‘friends,’ John's fear, the school wide protest tomorrow...

 _All of it makes blinding fucking sense!_ _Because…I’m a monster. There really is no other way to frame it,_ Dave thinks before angrily distancing from his alternate counterpart- _I mean, he_ ' _s_ _a monster…_ _And now I'm forced to live in the mess he made._

“Oh my, I think your time is up.” Ms. Mendicant's soft voice says.


	4. True Men Don't Kill Coyotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat cuts his hand open and has several unpleasant conversations that no one is particularly happy about.

_Passion dripping from the coyote's eyes_  
_He can taste his blood_  
_An' blood never lies_

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: OH THANK FUCKING GOG YOU ARE ONLINE TEREZI! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

GC: K4RK4T 1S TH4T YOU WHY 4R3 FR34K1NG OUT

CG: WHY THE FUCK AM I FREAKING OUT?? WHY THE FUCK AM I FREAKING OUT? HOW ABOUT BECAUSE I WOKE IN A STRANGE ROOM ON A STRANGE PLANET AFTER FALLING HEAD FIRST INTO A TIME RIFT! HOW IS THAT FOR A REASON TO FREAK OUT! IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! ALSO WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU PANICKING!?

GC: 1’M NOT P4N1CK1NG B3C4US3 YOU’R3 B31NG S1LLY

CG: AHHHHHH THIS ISN'T FUCKING ROLE PLAY! THIS IS ME AND MY EMOTIONS GOING THROUGH A GOG DAMN TAILSPIN BECAUSE WE ARE ON EARTH OR SOMESHIT AND IT’S POINTLESS AND DUMB.

GC: OF COURS3 W3 4R3 ON 34RTH K4RKL3S WH3R3 3LS3 WOULD W3 B3

CG:…  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  
CG:…

GC: W41T 4 S3COND MY T3XT TO 4UD1O 1S H4V1NG 4 H4RD T1M3 W1TH YOUR C4PS.

CG: HUH? OH, YOU’RE BLIND AGAIN? CONGRATULATIONS I GUESS.

GC: WH4T CONGR4TUL4T1ONS ON B31NG BL1ND3D WH4T 4 RUD3 TH1NG TO S4Y

CG: YEAH, WELL YOU SEEMED REALLY UPSET ABOUT NOT BEING BLIND LAST TIME I CHECKED.  
CG: IT DOESN’T REALLY EXPLAIN WHY YOU ARE USING TEXT TO SPEECH SOFTWARE.

CG: IS YOUR TONGUE OKAY? PLEASE SAY YOU ARE OKAY AND LIKE GAMZEE DIDN'T GET OUT OF HIS FRIDGE AND DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE AGAIN?  
CG: THAT WOULD BE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS COLOSSALLY SHITTY DAY!

GC: MY TONGU3? WH4T TH3 H3LL DO YOU M34N 1 H4V3 TO US3 TH3 VO1C3 R3COGN1T1ON SOFTW4R3. L1K3 4NY OTH3R BL1ND P3RSON. YOU C4N’T S33 W1THOUT 3Y3S K4RKL3S. TH4T’S L1K3 B4S1C M4TH.  
GC: BUT YOU KNOW TH1S  
GC: YOU’R3 4CT1NG R34LLY W31RD TOD4Y. 1 TH1NK 4N 1NV3ST1G4T1ON M1GHT B3 1N ORD3R  
GC: 4LSO WHO 1S G4MZ33 1 D1DN’T KNOW 4 RUD3 BOY L1K3 YOU H4D 4NY OTH3R FR13NDS

CG: WELL I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A HUGE BULGE SNIFFING- WAIT WHAT….?  
CG:…  
CG: TEREZI, DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW WHO GAMZEE IS? BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T I AM GOING TO JUST SHOOT MYSELF RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

GC: STOP B31NG DR4M4T1C YOU W31RDO  
GC: BUT TO 4NSW3R YOUR QU3ST1ON TH3 N4M3 DO3S SOUND F4M1L14R; 1 TH1NK H3 M1GHT B3 ON3 OF TH3 K1DS 1N OUR PROGR4M.  
GC: 1 C4N’T R34LLY TH1NK OF 4 R34SON YOU WOULD T4LK TO 4NYON3 OTH3R TH4N M3 OR K4N4Y4 THOUGH  
GC: W3LL 1 GU3SS YOU L1K3 TH4T F1SH GUY….

CG: I PLATONICALLY DO NOT.

GC: UNL3SS TH1S 1S 4 H1NT TH4T YOUR MYST3RY BLOOD 1S 4CTU4LLY 4 MOR3 BLU3 TH4N 1 1N1T14LLY THOUGHT.  
GC: 1 WOULD TYP3 4 SM1L1NG F4C3 1F 1 COULD. BUT YOU KNOW B31NG BL1ND M4K3S TH4T H4RD  
GC: 4SSHOL3

CG: …  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT NOW? YOU KNOW MY GOD DAMN BLOOD COLOUR!  
CG:....DON’T YOU?

GC: PL34S3 K4RKL3S 1F 1 KN3W YOUR BLOOD COLOUR 1’D B3 MUCH B3TT3R MOOD TO D34L W1TH YOUR W31RD R4MBL1NG. 4LSO 1 WOULDN’T L1CK 1T TH4T 1S GROSS

CG:…  
CG: …  
CG…  
CG: COULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND. I HAVE TO GO SCREAM ABOUT SOMETHING NOT RELATED TO HOW MUCH I HATE TIME FUCK UPPERIES AND REALITY WARPING MONSTERS RIGHT NOW.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked gallowsCalibrator [GC]

* * *

Karkat closes his laptop quietly before burrowing his head in his hands.

“What even the fuck is this?” He mumbles trembling. One minute he is flying through space on a meteor destined to fight space monsters into infinity and in the next- _reality fucking shatters_!

_Weird planet, weird room, weird friends, weird fucking memories in my thinkpan._

Karkat desperately wants to _blame_ someone for it. Jack Noir, Lord English, John…maybe? But he knew it wasn’t anyone in particular. _It's just how my life works_. _Can’t have anything nice, huh? Can’t win a game without life pulling the plug at the last second, huh? Well, fuck you too, life! No one even likes you!_

When he had woken up that morning he hadn't been himself, but now it was the memories of _this_ timeline that were twisted and strange. Karkat didn’t really have a way to describe it even to himself. _I was a Karkat who lives lifetimes in paradox space, the cancer giver, the Blood player.... The other me..._ The other Karkat just felt far away. Someone who was content to hide and who was scared all the time of things that probably couldn't even kill him. Most noticeably though, and perhaps most damming of all- alternative Karkat also _bled lime._

_Another wrong colour,_ Karkat thinks feeling like acid was coating his throat. The memories were- well, it went without saying that Karkat loathed them. _Gog, he's disgusting- I'm disgusting._ Karkat tries his best not to examine any of those grey tinged memories too closely. _Two sets of memories though? It had the stink of Time all over it._ Karkat grumbles, _where was a time player when I need one_? 

Aradia's name isn't listed in his contacts. Though, more alarmingly, _neither is Dave's._

In a lot of ways, sitting here with his computer felt like sitting back in his hive- _after it was ruined and meteors were falling._ Everything all fucked up with no way to fix it beyond the impossible. _Time is fucked up and no one is here to fix it!_

Unlike with Skaia though, where everyone was at least had some shared sense of urgency, in this new world it appeared that Terezi _did not have the clearer memories of the past._ Instead, she seemed to believe she was _from_ Earth. 

Karkat sighs, _What an absolute headache of a situation. Please let it just be a LARP._ _If it's not then..._ Karkat could barely fathom it. The thought of being the _only one_ to remember what they all went through left a shard of ice in Karkat’s chest. “I hope this isn’t permanent.” he rumbles to himself, then selfishly thinks, _and if it is please just let it be Terezi._

After a long moment, Karkat uncurls himself enough to sit up and look down at the bandage carefully woven around his hand. For a moment he lost himself in memory.

* * *

It had gone like this:

He had a dream. It was of a world with a soft pink moon-

then another with an angry green one.

When an alarm clock rang a different, but not so dissimilar Karkat had woken up for the day with a blinding headache. It was an important day though so he couldn’t slow down or call in sick. He absolutely had to get ready to transition schools. This unprecedented desegregation event was meant to break down the walls of institutional xenophobia. Karkat had been flattered that he was picked, driven by some inane illusions of self importance. Though the reason for his choosing wasn’t because of his grades, or disposition, but rather because the committee in charge decided this wanted a troll child from every blood colour.

Karkat was one of the only lime bloods left.

Even without an oppressive blood based caste it seemed that trolls were still big on rainbows, enough to hack into a confidential medical file to get someone with a rare hemotype.

_Special_ he had thought, _stupid_ some internal voice corrected despite him soothing most of the foreign paranoia away.

Regardless of how he was selected, it was still a huge _honour_ and Karkat had been _excited_ to try his best at human diplomacy despite having barely spoken to any before.

_Prospit Secondary School will be great,_ he tries to think, but somehow the name Prospit causes his earlier headache to flare up. 

_Can’t have this..._ Bearing his teeth in uncharacteristic anger Karkat grabs a pill bottle and reaches for a glass to fill with water but something makes him stumble and lose his grip.

The cup hits the floor and it shatters, like so many technicolored spiderwebs across space.

_Fuck_.

In his haste to clear the glass, one of the jagged pieces sinks into the soft flesh of his hand, slicing it open. Only instead of a mess of yellowish-green, it is _candy apple red_ that wells up out of the gruesome stigmata.

Karkat blinks. The sight of it makes him pause, then something deep inside him, like so many bones and so much sinew- b r e a k s.

“I-I remember.” Karkat gasps in bewildered defiance of both time and space.

  
Frogs,  
  
clouds,  
  
and a green sun.  
Red miles,  
  
a devil beast,  
  
and Jack Noir. _So much like Spades...._  
  
Ghosts,  
Exiles,  
  
and wanting to punch Kankri in the throat.  
  
There were tumours,  
  
and cancer, _I'm so sorry Jade, so sorry_

Dave reaching out with him- all their power against all of fate.

_don't leave me. Don't leave me. I love you._  
  
and finally, knowing what it felt like to have his friends murdered in cold blood right before his eyes.  
  


In that instance- in that brief flash of blood- Karkat had never known so much suffering.

There was just _so so so_ much _dying._

Karkat almost chokes on it. Phantom blood pooling in the back of his throat. For one overwhelming eternity, Karkat thinks he may even remember things that _don't_ belong to him. _That same sky with one moon, a dark unending ocean, broken clocks... A cruel feminine voice hissing: 'Tick Tock Tick Tock'._

He has to blink the flurry of information away through appalling panic.

_Where is everyone? Am I alone here? Where am I?_

But as confused as he is, and as _sure_ as he is that he had _never been here before_ , he also knew with certainty that this _was_ his house. Had been his living area for years. Complete with posters and books Karkat didn’t care about but another, different Karkat did.

He frowns thoughts in overdrive briefly blanking out. The next time he is aware again there was a first aid kit in his hands. He had retrieved it without thinking. _Just do one thing at a time. Break it down into manageable tasks... Breath in and out. It's fine._

Covering the wound made him feel better, not because it hurt or anything, but because it might as well be advertising his status as a walking time paradox. The mutant red tint screaming to the stars _cull me,_ _I don’t belong_

_I don’t belong_  
  
_I don’t belong._

Maybe he was never meant to belong anywhere.

_You belong with me,_ Dave would have said in some convoluted way.

In numb panic, Karkat finds his computer- and it _is_ a computer instead of something organic from Alternia proper. On the list of useless contacts are four recognizable names:

arsenicCatnip

grimAuxiliatrix

gallowsCalibrator

caligulasAquarium

_Where are the rest? Why are the dead_ _here?_ Karkat bites down on his lip. He knew most of his friends _were_ dead but he also had a lifetime of memories of them at school, very much _alive_. _Doing... calculus?_

It is _dizzying._

He clicks on Terezi’s name but that just leaves him with the uncomfortable realization that he very well might be alone in this world. Another mutant mistake that was allowed to seep through the cracks.  
  


This wasn't even the first time he had heard that story.

Not the first time he had seen _a broken record play.  
  
_

_Is this hell..._ he wants to ask, _because it sure looked like one of his greatest fears come alive._

Frantic, Karkat shakes his head. _The usernames are the same though? Doesn’t that mean something?_ Starting to feel a little hysteric, Karkat takes a deep breath and clicks on grimAuxillatrix.

_Kanaya will know,_ he lies to himself.  
  


\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [GA] --

CG: KANAYA! THANK GOG YOU'RE HERE! I'M FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!  
CG: WE’RE ON EARTH AND I HAVE TWO SETS OF MEMORIES AND TEREZI REMEMBERS SHIT ALL ABOUT THE GAME!

GA: Hello Karkat.  
GA: I’m Glad You Are Speaking To Me Again. Being Chosen For The Program Has Really Taken Its Toll On You. Though I Must Say This Sudden Use Of Endless Capital Letters Is Most Unsettling.

CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS WAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE ME TYPING QUIRK…

_Except it also wasn’t. Not here, in this place. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

CG: OH GOG!  
CG: YOU DON’T REMEMBER EITHER!

GA: Remember What, Karkat?

CG: FUCK! EVERYTHING! THE GAME, VAST GLUB, THE MATRIORB… YOU KILLING ERIDAN WITH YOUR RAINBOW DRINKER POWER!  
CG: JUST LOTS OF STUFF OKAY!

GA: I, Oh My?  
GA: I Am Going To Ignore The Murder Accusation Because Eridan Is Alive And Well.  
GA: And I Am Also Going To Ignore Your Lackadaisical Tone Regarding His Dismemberment In Favour of Focusing on the Much More Pressing Concern Of How You Found Out I Am A Rainbow Drinker.  
GA:I Don’t Really Know How You Found Out About Me Being a One. I Had Thought I Hid It Quite Well. I Hope You Don’t Think Less Of Me As A Person Because Of It. I Know How Associating With the Right Trolls Is Important To You.  
GA: I Only Ask You Do Not Reveal My Secret To Anyone Else. I’m Afraid I Will Be Removed From The Integration Program Because Of It; That, And Face a Greater Social Stigma.  
  


At Kanaya's pronouncements, more memories appear in Karkat's mind, _and holy shit_ alternate Karkat was an elitist sack of shit. _He and Kanaya had a falling out because she didn’t like Eridan? Oh man,_ it was worse than he could have _imagined._

With shame creeping down his spine, Karkat began to type frantically.  
  


CG: FUCK WHAT!?! NO KANAYA LISTEN: A) I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU BEING A RAINBOW DRINKER B) THAT IS PROBABLY THE MOST BENIGN PART OF THE CONVERSATION TO LATCH ONTO. YOU ARE REALLY MISSING THE POINT. C) ERIDAN SUCKS I LIKE YOU WAY MORE.  
CG: UGHHH! NEVER MIND. JUST. UGH. I’M OVER THAT OKAY. IT WAS A DIFFERENT DUMBER KARKAT WHO IS PROBABLY DEAD NOW  
  


Well, not dead _exactly_ , more like absorbed? Either way it did not feel good to think about the moral implications of that.  
  


GA: Oh, My So Many Capitals. Though It Is Good To Hear You Do Not Mind. I Was Quite Convinced That You, Of All People, Would Flip Out The Most.  
GA: In Response To Your Other Points, I Did Not Understand The Other Portion Of Your Conversation, And It Seemed Quite Trivial In Relation To You Knowing A Very Closely Guarded Secret Regarding My Person.  
GA: It Was Startling To Say The Least.

CG: LOOK, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US…  
CG: I'M REALLY SORRY YOU ARE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND I WAS GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF I GUESS?

But, like, _was_ he?

the memories produce a dull buzzing. He can kind of make out the words the alternate Karkat had exchanged with Kanaya, but the quality was so dull it was like trying to see underwater. 

If the water was also capable of giving him a massive guilt complex. _Shit, I really don't think she should forgive me._

He hopes she does anyway, but frowns when he remembers what he is supposed to be doing. He types up a message, erases it then types another which he also erases.

_It didn't really matter what I say._ _She doesn’t remember either. This is all pointless._

CG: WHATEVER. THIS IS STUPID. I’M STUPID. I’M SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU AND BLOWING UP AT YOU LIKE THIS! BUT YOU ARE SORT OF UNWITTINGLY CONFIRMING MY WORST FEARS. I’LL JUST LOG OFF NOW AND LET YOU GET BACK TO WHATEVER IT IS YOU WERE DOING.

GA: Wait! Are You Really Okay With Me, Being a Rainbow Drinker I Mean  
GA: It Doesn’t Bother You? And You’re Not Going To Tell Anyone? Even Terezi?

CG: FUCK NO! IT’S YOUR SECRET OR WHATEVER! YOU DIDN’T CARE ABOUT MY DIRTY MUTANT BLOOD. WHY WOULD I GIVE A SINGLE FUCK!

GA: Wait  
GA: You Have Mutant Blood?  
GA: But That Can't-  
GA: I Though  
GA: Maybe Lime  
GA: Oh Dear.

CG: OH FUCK THIS! I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW. YES, LET’S JUST TRY TO KEEP EACH OTHER'S SECRETS THAT WEREN’T SECRET BUT NOW ARE SECRETS AGAIN AND I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW!

GA: Karkat I-

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked grimAuxillatrix [GA] --  
  


Karkat slams his computer closed again, ice shard digging in just a little bit deeper. _Well that went well-_ _said no one ever._

Not only did Kanaya remember just as much as Terezi, but Karkat had revealed his blood colour to her _again_ with next to no prompting. _How did I even make it this far in life?_ Karkat hangs his head again, trying hard not to slam it against the desk in frustration. _I'm an idiot._

It wasn’t so much as fear that Kanaya wouldn’t accept him, because she _would,_ but the grey memories were telling Karkat that the Signless wasn’t as forgotten as he had been in his own timeline. There were churches dedicated to his candy apple red blood all across the troll settlements on Earth. He suppresses a shudder. _Being a martyr or saint is the absolute last thing I need on top of this situation._

He looks back down at his bandaged hand again, feeling lost.

_O-one more person…_ Karkat decides, mostly to distract himself. _One more person who is not Eridan._

Karkat clicks on arsenicCatnip before he can really think about what he wants to say.  
  


\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

CG: HEY.  
CG: SO…  
CG: I NOTICED YOU’RE ALIVE.  
CG: THAT’S PRETTY GREAT BUT IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT YOU ANSWER ME

AC: :33 < *ac perks up curiously*

CG: NEPETA WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT SKAIA.  
CG: CAN YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THE GAME?

AC:: 33 < *ac tilts her head back and thinks really hard*  
AC::33 <* ac asks the oddly loud Karkitty if he means a different roleplay from a long time ago*

CG: OH WELL OF COURSE YOU STILL HAVE THE MOST ANNOYING TYPING QUIRK. THAT’ GREAT FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.  
CG: BUT ANYWAY-  
CG: FOR A SECOND LET’S PRETEND WE AREN’T PUR-TENDING  
CG: AND JUST TELL ME IF THE NAME ROGUE OF HEART RINGS ANY BELLS?

AC: :33 <*ac wonders what cg is shouting about*  
AC: :33 <*cg is giving ac a headache with all his loud meow-beast roaring

CG: WOW! SORRY TO BOTHER YOU JUST IGNORE ME WHILE I DROWN IN A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF HORROR AND APATHY.  
CG: I MEAN, KARKAT’S LIFE IS SO SHITTY HE HAS TO ROLEPLAY ABOUT IT IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT TIMELINES  
CG: ONLY ABOUT HALF HE LIKES DOING IT IN  
CG: KARKAT’S LIFE IS SO SHITTY THAT HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE HE IS TYPING IN THE THIRD PERSON  
CG: KARKAT’S LIFE IS SO UTTERLY CRAP-TASTIC THAT HE IS LOGGING OFF TO BE ALONE WITH HIS HATE RAGE

AC: 33 <*silly cg! Ac purrs*

CG: AUGGG! CALL ME IF YOU REMEMBER SOMETHING. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased Trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

AC:: 33< What’s eating him? *the clever ac pawses to wonder*  
AC:: 33< Oh well, we will all be together tomorrow!~

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] signed off! –

_  
That was painful to say the least_ , Karkat would dig his claws into his scalp if they weren’t somehow manicured short. He remembers cutting them even though he didn’t.

_Is this a joke?_ It had to be a sick joke. But, of course, that was impossible. _Three people? One is an incident, two is a coincidence, but three? Three is a pattern._

Abruptly he feels his face grow hot and his eyes tear up. _Gog,_ _W-why does no one fucking remember?_ In desperation, Karkat adds everyone’s old handles from Trolian hoping that even if he is a complete stranger to them, maybe they will still remember _something._

_Hope is a powerful thing, right?_

A ‘friendship accepted’ ping sounds and Karkat starts typing once again before he can really register the violent purple colour.  
  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CG: GAMZEE IS THAT YOU!? TELL ME YOU FUCKING REMEMBER?

TC: WoAh! HeY tHeRe BrO! I DoN’t ThInK I GoT My KnOwInG On WhO YoU Are.  
TC: I’m GuEsSiNg SoMe KiNd Of FrIeNd ThOugH RiGhT? :o)

CG: UH YEAH LET’S GO WITH THAT….  
CG YOU DON’T REMEMBER BEING THE BARD OF RAGE DO YOU?

TC: WhOa WhAt A StRaIgHt Up FaNcY TiTlE! DoN’T ThInK So ThOuGh, My BrO.  
TC: I RecKoN If It WhErE ImPoRtAnT I WoUlD, BuT I DoN’T.

CG: YOU’RE HIGH AREN’T YOU?

TC: HeHeHe HoNk :o)

CG: WELL, GOOD, STAY THAT WAY I GUESS… CALL ME IF YOU EVER FEEL THE SUDDEN URGE NOT TO BE

TC: HEhHe OkAy BrO!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]  
  


_Well, at least he’s not sober. That’s probably a good thing...?  
  
_It was _Gamzee_ though, his memory could be full of holes in any timeline regardless. _Statistical outliers should not be counted_ , Karkat lies to himself again as he restlessly decides to get up and pace around his living area.

_The next one will remember. They must._

For a moment, Karkat attempts to reconcile his two sets of memories in the familiar, yet unfamiliar space. _Ughh, Why did Other Karkat own a copy of Die Hard_? Karkat begins to wonder when another ping sounds. He immediately runs to his computer to start typing.  
  


apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG].

AA: hello? i got your message. it was a little strange? who is this?

CG: ARADIA, THIS IS KARKAT IF YOU’VE BEEN DEAD BEFORE, TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE, OR ARE SOME KIND OF FAIRY IT WOULD BE REALLY COOL IF YOU CONTACT ME!

AA: hello, karkat, i don’t know what you just said, but indeed i can talk to the dead! I accepted your friend request because I recognized your name from the integration program.  
AA: oh wait that was rude of me to assume that’s where you knew me from; i’m sorry have we talked before?

CG: YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOG YES!  
CG: SO MANY TIMES

Karkat’s heart shatters. The Time player _doesn't_ _remember._

AA: I see…  
AA: in school?

CG NO! IN A GAME CALLED SGRUB! YOU WERE A ROBOT AND A FROG AND DEAD! OH GOG THAT SOUNDS AWFUL WHEN I SAY IT LIKE THAT IT! WAS ALL VERY CONFUSING!  
CG: BUT YOU, ME, AND TEN OTHER TROLLS WERE FRIENDS. THE HUMAN VERSION OF FRIENDS…  
CG: WE WERE SORT OF FRIENDS WITH FOUR HUMANS TOO! TOGETHER WE TRIED TO REMAKE THE WORLD. WE FAILED THOUGH AND NOW WE ARE HERE.  
CG: I MEAN IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE...BUT

AA: I'm afraid I have no memories of such events.  
AA: As far as I know I have always been here and I have never been 1000 different robots, a frogsprite, or a godtier.

CG: OF COURSE! EXCUSE ME FOR HOLDING OF SOME LAST VESTIGE OF HOPE THAT THE TIME PLAYER MIGHT RECALL SOMETHING. IT WAS TIME THAT GOT US INTO THIS MESS AFTER ALL-

Karkat blinks, brain slowing down. He spends a full minute reading the monitor over several times just to be sure.

CG: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

AA: 0_0  
AA: I really don’t know. I thought I was just refuting your previous statement but looking back my words don’t really match do they…

CG: THEY MATCH.

AA: They should not though. Please understand that this is very bad.

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME! THIS IS GOOD! GREAT EVEN! YOU REMEMBER SOMETHING IN SOME CAPACITY AT LEAST.

AA: no, You don’t understand…  
AA: time must be out of joint.  
AA: it is actually very painful.  
AA: I suppose this explains some of the inconsistencies at least.

CG: ?

AA: I talk to the dead; however the ghosts all changed last night. There were so many new ones. Planets worth.  
AA: They told me some very startling things.  
AA: things not unlike what you are telling me.  
AA: this is very worrying….  
AA: What kind of player did you say I was?

CG: TIME. YOU WERE THE MAID OF TIME.

AA: time is out of joint.  
AA: I'm sorry. This is very troubling Karkat. I think I need to go think about some things.  
AA: it was great to meet you again.  
AA: but please don’t talk to me. At least not for awhile… I don’t think I can handle the headache. be mindful if you know any other time people! There is a certain distance with the other attributes, but Time is a little different.  
AA: Though I suppose we are all different in our own ways for better and worse.  
AA: anyway  
AA: goodbye!

CG: ARADIA WAIT I-

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CG: FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] -- Closed the conversation.  
_  
_

_Fuck._  
  
Karkat releases the breath he had been holding. No one remembers completely... but Aradia seemed to sense something was not right. _That's a huge lead at least._ He can feel his chest loosening however fractionally.

_It seems like I upset her though…._ Which is a whole other can of worms to parse out. _What did it mean when she said it hurt? How was she able to type what she had typed without knowing who she was?_

Letting out a low rumble in his throat, Karkat tilts his head up and looks out the window. The sun is up but the pale human moon still sits in the sky. Struck by an odd thought, Karkat squeezes his hand experimentally.

Red appears once more.

“Is this even the right thing to do?” He asks himself, “To make them remember the horrors of Paradox Space if they don’t have to?”

_Hmmm_

_**-time is out of joint.**_

A sort of morbid conclusion occurs to Karkat, that maybe no one was _supposed_ to remember. _But I do! So... what now?_ He had no direction or recourse to deal with this mounting hell. _Maybe forgetting is winning? And he once again the eternal loser._

Karkat hits the point where he is about to say _fuck it_ and crawl back into his sleeping area when he sees a pending message from Terezi.  
  


\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GC: 1 C4N’T B3L13V3 YOU BLOCK3D M3. TH4T W4S V3RY RUD3.

CG: OH MY GOG!  
CG: USUALLY WHEN SOMEONE BLOCKS YOU IT MEANS THAT THEY DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!

GC: NONS3NS3 YOU 4LW4YS W4NT TO T4LK TO M3.

CG: LISTEN REZI, I’M NOT SURE WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME BUT I HAVE JUST HAD A SERIES OF VERY UPSETTING CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT REMEMBER SGRUB AND THE HELL IT PUT US THROUGH.

GC: OH L4M3. 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD B3 DON3 YOUR FR34K OUT BY NOW.  
GC: 1T’S 4 GOOD TH1NG 1’M SUCH 4 GR34T H4CK3R B3C4US3 OBV1OUSLY YOU 4R3 ST1LL ON TH3 CR4ZY TR41N 4ND N33D M3 TO T4LK YOU OFF OF 1T.

GC: I’M NOT CRAZY! ALSO YOU CAN HACK BUT YOU CAN’T USE YOUR TONGUE TO TASTE? WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT!!  
GC: DON’T ANSWER THAT! IT DOESN’T MATTER. YOU AND ME, WE DON’T BELONG HERE. YOU DON’T REMEMBER. NO ONE REMEMBERS… EXCEPT MAYBE ARADIA…

GC: W41T WHO 1S 4R4D14 4NOTH3R SUPPOS3D H1GHBLOOD FR13ND  
GC: SHOULD 1 B3 J3LLY  
  


Karkat cringes. He knows his other self has his reasons for acting the way he does- _did,_ but they still make him kind of sick.  
  


GC: AUUUG!  
GC: IT’S UNBEARABLE YOU DON’T KNOW ARADIA, BUT IF YOU REALLY MUST KNOW  
SHE IS A MAROON BLOOD  
GC: WITH RAM HORNS.

GC: HMMM… W3LL 4R3N’T W3 TH3 D1V3RS3 ON3 1 THOUGHT YOU USU4LLY K3PT YOUR CONT4CTS 4ROUND TH3 M1D-H1GH BLOODS. YOU 3V3N STOPP3D H4NG1NG OUT W1TH SOL B3C4US3 H3 W4S SO LOW.  
GC: 4ND DON’T G3T M3 ST4RT3D ON K4N4Y4.

CG: I JUST MADE UP WITH KANAYA. WHATEVER FIGHT WE HAD WAS STUPID.  
CG: ALTERNATE KARKAT IS AN ASSHOLE. THIS HAS ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED.  
CG: PLUS BLOOD COLOUR IS STUPID AND YOU KNOW IT!

GC: W3LL OF COURS3 1 KNOW 1T 1T’S YOU MR. MYST3RY WHO 4LW4YS S33M3D TO C4R3.

CG: GOG, TEREZI IT’S COOL THAT WE CAN AGREE ON THAT BUT I’M REALLY UPSET RIGHT NOW AND I THINK I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP. EVEN THOUGH I JUST WOKE UP.  
CG: FUCK.

GC: W41T DON’T GO Y3T

CG: ?

GC: TOD4Y H4S SORT OF B33N 4 B4D D4Y FOR M3 TOO. 1’M PR3TTY N3RVOUS 4BOUT TOMORROW.  
GC: WHY DON’T YOU T3LL M3 4BOUT TH1S 4LT3RN4T3 WORLD 1 DON’T R3M3MB3R  
GC: 1T COULD B3 FUN L1K3 4 ROL3 PL4Y STORY

Karkat worries his short thumb nails, Terezi wasn’t taking the memory thing seriously but she seemed willing to play along. _That has to be a positive somehow right?_

He goes to start typing but then stops. _How do I even begin approaching this conversation…_

He decides to start with the end of Alternia.  
  


CG: WE DIED A LOT.

GC: FORG1V3 M3 FOR NOT SOUND1NG OV3RJOY3D  
GC: W41T HOW COULD W3 D13 4 LOT TH4T DO3SN’T M4K3 MUCH S3NS3

CG: IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE IF YOU FACTOR IN DOOMED TIMELINES AND DREAMSELVES!

GC: WH4T 4R3 DR34M S3LV3S  
  
_Why does everything have to be so needlessly complex?_ Karkat laments. Dreamselves take a good chunk of the explaining time. Most of that is spent talking about Prospit. Terezi seems quite shocked at the name and insists on hearing more.

Not wanting to let the first friend who would talk to him in some normal capacity go, Karkat obliges. When he gets to Terezi’s particular adventure on Prospit, she grows suddenly upset, much to Karkat's alarm.

GC: WHY WOULD SH3 B3 BL1ND

GC: THERE WASN’T REALLY A GOOD REASON; I THINK YOU JUST WANTED YOUR DREAMSELF TO MATCH YOUR REAL SELF. YOU LIKED YOUR BLINDNESS. YOU EQUATED IT TO JUSTICE OR SOME WEIRD SHIT.

GC: MY R34L S3LF W4S BL1ND TOO

CG: YEAH, VRISKA MADE YOU STARE INTO THE ALTERNIAN SUN BY MIND CONTROLLING TAVROS TO MIND CONTROL YOUR DRAGON WHO IN TURN MIND CONTROLLED YOU.  
CG: SHIT THAT SOUNDS DUMB.  
CG: IT BURNT YOUR RETINAS OUT THOUGH.

GC:…

CG: UM… SORRY?

GC: NO. 1T’S JUST; 4 R34LLY W31RD STORY 1S 4LL. 1 DON’T KNOW 4 VR1SK4. SH3 D1DN’T BL1ND M3 BUT PL34S3 CONT1NU3.

Karkat continues more shakily, spinning what he hopes isn't too gruesome of a tale about the imps and exiles. The whole time he types he is suddenly very aware that he should know what caused this Terezi’s blindness, but somehow can't seem to recall. It was aggravating really, like a burr caught in his mind.

CG: - THEN WE MET UP WITH THE HUMANS.

Humans put Terezi on edge _immediately_ and alarm bells go off in Karkat’s head. His grey memories are telling him humans are _dangerous_ but that cannot be it. Frowning, Karkat starts with John. John is the most non-threatening of the humans, if only because he is the most annoying.

  
GC: H4V3 YOU TR13D T4LK1NG TO H1M

CG: WHO?

GC: JOHN H3 W4S YOUR FR13ND R1GHT WHY NOT PM H1M L1K3 YOU D1D M3 1 M34N 1F H3 3X1STS.

CG: I, UH, OH….

A wave of self consciousness hits Karkat. _Maybe I’m scared that it will hurt worse somehow_ , he thinks but resolutely does not type. Dave’s dumb face taking up most of his brain power. Still, as painful as it was, Dave was a Time player, and as Aradia demonstrated there was something fucked up about Time.  
  


CG: JOHN PROBABLY DOESN’T REMEMBER.  
CG: HE’S SORT OF WEAK LIKE THAT.  
CG: BUT I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING OF TRYING TO CONTACT DAVE. I THINK TIME HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS WHOLE MESS.  
CG: I MEAN ALL OUR POWERS PROBABLY CONTRIBUTED…  
CG: BUT  
CG: ARADIA HALF ASSEDLY RECALLED A FEW THINGS, SO I GUESS I SHOULD BE HOPEFUL THAT HE MIGHT-

GC: W41T  
GC: WHO 1S TH1S D4V3 CH4R4CT3R

CG: OH, SHIT SORRY, HE WAS THE OTHER HUMAN BOY. HIS FULL NAME IS DAVE STRIDER. YOU TWO-

GC: STOP 1T

CG: WHAT?

GC: JUST STOP T4UNT1NG M3 OK4Y 1 L1ST3N3D TO YOUR STUP1D STORY YOU DON’T H4V3 TO B3 4N 4SSHOL3

CG: WHAT DID I DO!?

GC: JUST STOP 1T K4RK4T TH1S 1S 4 T3RR1BL3 STORY PL34S3 STOP 1 DON’T W4NT TO H34R 1T

CG: OKAY! JEEZE! 

GC: YOU D1DN’T H4V3 TO 1NCLUD3 D4V3 1NTO 1T YOU D1DN’T  
GC: TH4T W4S JUST PL41N M34N.

GC: WHAT!? WHY WOULD TALKING ABOUT DAVE OFFEND YOU?

GC: B3C4US3 B3S1D3S DO1NG OTH3R FUCK3D UP STUFF  
GC: D4V3 STR1D3R 1S TH3 BOY WHO BL1ND3D M3.

CG: WELL….

_ohshitohshitohshit._

CG: FUCK.  
  


Karkat checks his memory and _damn, if that is not discordant as fuck._ His human boyfriend is one of the biggest known troll haters in town, if not the whole state. His family was _infamous. Gog, did I inherit this somehow? Is this a punishment?_

Karkat wanted to gag, the odd thoughts of a rainbow wall and carnival music touch his senses, until he shakes them away. _Well… fuck._ Karkat shouts his rage against the ceiling of his room, he is startled back into silence though when his breath appears in the form of steam.

_Wait..? Is something cold?_

_Not cold.._. Karkat’s brain tries to make sense of what is going on. _It's_ _too hot,_ he thinks sluggishly, then loses control.

There is a sudden, and intense itching sensation along his wrists which turn into a full on _b u r n._

_There is shouting- Such mercilessly cruel shouting and screaming. Karkat wishes whoever was screaming would stop. They were so loud and so angry and- Oh, never mind, the noise and rush of words is coming from his own throat._

> _He didn’t even know he possessed such shameful profanity and rage._
> 
> _Oh, but he can’t question that right now. He is in agony, but still, somehow, despite it all he can_ see in startling clarity.
> 
> _See all the horror around him...  
>    
>  See the faces of the Grand Highblood and the Executioner, So much like Kurloz, and Horus only they weren’t…._
> 
> _They don’t remember…_ _And what are we if not our memories?_

_Oh, fuck_ , Karkat doesn’t even want to guess where that came from, _what’s happening to me?_ In absolute emotional turmoil, he blocks Terezi.

What he wants to do more than anything is call Dave, but all his alternative memories scream at him. _Don’t go near him. He’ll kill me and laugh about it! Son of a terrorist. He would love a chance to kill a troll, especially one as weak as me._

It's heartbreaking.

_What the fuck kind of world is this? It’s just Alternia with humans instead of a batterwitch._ Karkat seethes. _All those lives given up for a better world wasted…. All my time with Dave made moot._

Now that the phantom anger has gone, he just very much wants to cry. Instead, Karkat lies down on his bed, and it is a _bed_ which is only mildly disturbing. _I-I don’t know what to do_. He thinks shaken; he has to go to school later. _But if I go I might see my friends and then_ -  
_  
and then-_

He can feel his blood-pusher beat frantically. There was _too much_ to deal with.

World weary and beaten, he raises his hand up against the soft dim light oh his window, checking the bandage once more.

Still the same cursed cherry red.

He closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone guess Dave's crime was blinding Terezi? :-D
> 
> I don't remember all the quirks well ^^;.


	5. The Brother's Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk worries while Dave deals with some tough emotions. Everyone is very unprepared for tomorrow.

_Give it up to this planet full of strife_   
_We're the brothers cup cuttin' sharp as a knife_

* * *

Dirk Strider waits on the bench for Dave while lost in thought. Growing up as the sons of a terrorist had messed him and Dave up good. Last year, when Bro had been arrested, Dirk had tried to remain hopeful... But Dave was _so_ troubled, and Dirk didn’t have the emotional intelligence or tools to help. So, every day he sat in fear of the time that Dave would inevitably leave him.

 _It’s not today though,_ Dirk exhaled, _there is still time._

His eyes flick up when he hears a door open. With some embarrassment he realizes he hadn’t moved so much as a muscle in the last hour. _That receptionist must think I am so weird_. Dirk leans forward abruptly, pretending it didn’t make him look more awkwardly robotic. _She's not wrong..._

He is saved from his embarrassment when Dave walks over looking equally stiff and haunted. It was a _very weird_ look on his normally stony face. _Was therapy actually working? Is this how it worked?_ Dirk looks down the hall to see if the therapist was there and could give him some kind of sign but, of course, she was not present. 

“Hey, Lil’ Bro.” Dirk grinds out after what was probably too long of a gap.

“Sup.” Dave offers a halfhearted salute. It’s friendly in a way that makes Dirk grimace.  
  
 _What is wrong with him? Is it my fault? Is it school?_ Dirk knew _exactly_ what was happening the next day. It had been keeping him awake since they announced it last month.

 _Should I force him to transfer? Can I force him to do anything? Is it right of me?_ Bro had forced Dave to do _terrible_ things all the time, _but I was there to help mitigate._ Dirk though, momentarily unable to think of a time he _actually_ had...

 _I testified against him in court,_ Dirk frowns scratching at his face, the beginnings of a migraine blooming, _why is this so hard to remember?_ Complicated PTSD and trauma are what the books had said. _Memory loss is a surprisingly common symptoms for many things..._ What he _did_ remember though was Dave yelling at him _after_ they had taken Bro away in chains. Resentful that his father had been taken away and that their lives had changed so suddenly. Dirk couldn’t be mad at him though, Dave didn’t fully understand what Bro had done- what kind of monster he was.

 _He couldn’t understand, he’s been through a lot and he’s sick_. Dirk repeats to himself in a mantra instead of acknowledging just how much Dave scares him. How sometimes he had the same empty eyes Bro had- like a puppets on a string. 

That look is not present today.

“Want to get out of here and go home?” Dirk offers. 

“Yeah.” Dave nods weakly.

* * *

In the past, watching Dave was like watching a Bro shaped train wreck. Erratic, explosive, and utterly impossible to stop from the sidelines. Whatever staff and conductors rushing to help burned up in the aftershocks. Watching Dave today though was the opposite, the energy he gave off wasn’t exactly _chill_ but it was more focused and clear- less volatile.

In the car, all Dirk can think about is the call he had received. Dave _never_ called him, too proud to accept help from his inferior guardian. Yet here he was, responding to people respectfully, acting almost happy to be with him.

 _It's weird._ Dirk cannot put a name to it, but looking at this Dave- knowing how capable of malice he is, but suddenly feeling _none_ of it, sets off some internal alarms. _This is good though isn't it? I should want this?_ He truly doesn't know. It was equally relieving as it was unnerving. 

_Who are you?_ Dirk wants to ask but doesn’t. _Think logically_ , _Dirk, what could have_ _possibly prompted this metamorphosis?_ Dirk could only circle back to one thing, _Dave has to be upset about tomorrow so he is acting odd._ They hadn’t spoken about the Second Troll Integration program together- and Dirk hadn’t planned to _ever_ bring it up, but he had hacked the registry and seen the list of names.

 **Terezi Pyrope** isn’t exactly a name he can forget.

He had hoped that he could complain to the education minister, or at least beg them to please pick another school. Because _surely_ it had to be against the law to send a child to school with her _assaulter._

_Could it be safe with Dave there all day? No right? How could it be..._

The courts were still biased enough to let him off on an _acid attack_ and the assault... _but if he actually committed_ _mur_ \- Dirk couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. It was a repugnant, one that Dirk squashed. _Dave is only sixteen. He isn't a monster_. _I shouldn’t think like that..._

But, one upon a time, Dirk hadn't thought Bro was capable of murder _either._

Dave remains deathly silent most of the drive. Instead of being obstinate and impassive though, it just seemed like he was genuinely exhausted. Dirk's frown deepens. 

_How do I talk about this?_ Dirk desperately wants to know. _How do I broach the subject that I think he might be a murde-something in the making…? Hi, Dave. Our fucked up parent figure basically brainwashed us. Please don’t follow in his criminal footsteps, okay, thanks._ He absolutely can't say that. _I'm going to fuck this up,_ Dirk knows, but something about the earlier conversation he had with Dave at the park gives him both a strength and a bizarre curiosity. _Say something!_ He commands himself, _Anything_! 

“How was Ms. Mendicant today?” _Is that good?_

No response.

“Dave?”

No response.

“Hey, uh, are you feeling okay?”

Dirk steals a glance before returning his focus to the road again. Dave’s just staring out the window. _He still doesn’t really seem angry… just lost._

“Dave,” Dirk says his name with an authority he doesn't feel, “I think you should stay home from school tomorrow.”

Dave makes a sort of hissing noise, like a flinch but he doesn’t turn his head.

“Why?” Dave asks, voice losing its tired quality, replaced with an exacting edge.

There is no nice way of saying ‘Because-I-think-you’re-going-to-follow-in-the-footsteps-of-what-was-basically-an-evil-human-being.’ So it is Dirk’s turn to stay silent.

Dave seems to sense what Dirk wants to say anyway, but instead of blowing up Dave just slumps. “What's happening tomorrow?” He asks after some time passes, “like _really_?”

“You know what.”

“I want you to say it.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. _Please_.” There is some unknown desperation in his voice that makes Dirk feel wrong footed. Hesitantly he answers, “They are ending segregation and integrating trolls into your high school. It’s literally been the top news story all week. There, are you happy?”

Dave goes silent again. They are almost home by the time he opens his mouth again. _“Why_ is that a problem?” He sounds _legitimately_ curious.

 _What kind of weird mind game is this?_ Dirk blinks. When he pulls into the driveway and is able to stop the car, Dirk takes his chance to really study Dave. Dave let’s him, his face impossibly innocent.

“Dave, you’ve been trying to stop this for _years._ You're the leader of the youth section of Humans Against Trolls… did- you _forget.._?”

“ _That's_ what that club was for?” Dave practically yelps. Then more quietly, “ _AND_ they named it HAT? I hope I wasn’t on that subcommittee. Who would be afraid of a group called Hat?”

“A lot of trolls, Dave!” Some hysteria enters Dirk's voice against his will. That seems to startle Dave, “Well, uh… I mean.” He stutters, hunches his shoulders. His cheeks are red.

Dirk takes a moment to undo his seat belt, as the silence stretches. There were all kinds of alarm bells going off in his head now. Bright angry red klaxons going off, though Dirk could still not define to exact reason for them. 

“ _She’s_ going to be there isn’t she?” Dave asks _and oh no_ he’s shaking a little. Once again Dirk has no idea how to answer. Parenting websites don’t cover the aftermath of vicious assault much.

Dirk manages a weak, “Yes.”

“Then I _am_ going.” Dave states with a kind of cold finality that wrenches at Dirk’s heart.

“S’not really a good idea…”

“It’s the best damn idea I’ve had in awhile.”

Dirk opens his mouth to protest more. For a second, he wants to be bigger and loom like Bro used to. He wants to be able to exert his will by his mere presence alone, but that moment passes and he is left, once again, in a stunned sickly silence while Dave, somehow, plows the conversation on.

“I know you’re _worried_ , but you _really_ don’t have to be. Not anymore.”

“You blinded someone! a girl can’t see anymore because of you! You don’t get to say that.” Dirk finds his voice long enough to have it break.

“Terezi.” Dave replies and for a second and Dirk blinks at that because he hadn’t known that Dave had _known_ , “Terezi Pyrope.” 

“What are you-”

But Dave cuts him off, “I didn’t just blind _anyone_ , I blinded _Terezi Pyrope_. I threw _acid_ in her _eyes_.” Dave speaks cold and low. In a perfect, forced sterile calm he adds, “…and I did it because she was a troll…”

Dirk just silently gapes. _What kind of weird confession is this?_ Dirk can feel his heart skip a beat.

“Fuck man. What if I did something to the _others…_? Karkat, man.. I can’t even _think_ about Karkat.” Dave babbles nonsensically. Dirk doesn’t really hear him though, not over his hindbrain noting all the wrong ways Dave is moving and talking.

 _Who are you?_ The Question resurfaces and Dirk has to bite it down. He tastes blood as Dave says, “I have to go and help them. Well maybe I can't help them.. But see them, maybe? I don’t know…. They might need me. I need them. Please let me go.”

The out of character plea is so heartfelt that Dirk stills, but one day of good behaviour does not erase the niggling knowledge that Dave was capable of hurting a _lot_ of people. _Is this a ploy? Some kind of fucked up test?_ Dirk doesn't know. _What if I did let him go? What if he was responsible for a lot worse than someone’s loss of sight?_ Dirk didn't feel like he was able to have another family member in jail- to love yet _another_ monster.

He looks at Dave's wrong tone and movements again, _What do you think your doing right now?_ His brain asks.

Terrified, Dirk says “What are you trying to say? That the counselling made you better? That you are cured of what Bro did to us!? Of what you’ve done? Sorry Lil’ bro, I’m not buying it.”

Dave did not rise up though; instead he just looked like he aged a million years, and not one of them were kind. “Legit, yo. Two years of remedial counselling for _acid throwing_ is probably the biggest joke I’ve ever heard.” He shakes his head and Dirk feels lost again, like he skipped an important chapter in a book. 

The conversation lulls so Dirk decides it's safe to get out of the car, so he does while fumbling for his keys. Dave trails quietly behind him.

Inside Dirk’s mind is still reeling. To quiet his erratic heartbeat he makes a move to prepare dinner. “Want some more eggs?” he asks.

But Dave just shakes his head, “S’just going to go to bed,” he waves as he disappears. Dirk glances at the clock- it’s 5:00 pm. No one goes to bed that early but he can’t bring himself to chase after Dave.

Dirk thinks Dave is gone for good when he is suddenly in the kitchen again. “Do we ever strife?” He asks, once again moving an talking in odd ways.

“W-What?”

“You know... sword fight on the roof.”

That was a _Bro_ thing. Dirk is aghast he would bring it up, “No, no Dave we don't have to do that anymore. That was a _long_ time ago.” A tautness goes out of him, like he is genuinely _relieved_. Dave had lived with Dirk for over two years now, and if anything Dirk was the one afraid of Dave taking up a sword… _so why?_ _Why don’t you know this?_ Dirk wants to scream, but Dave is suddenly offering him a small smile and he is thrown off yet _again_.

“I’m going tomorrow.” He states, picking up the conversation Dirk had tried so hard to abandon.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” _Why, why, why..._

Dave shakes his head.

“Look, um, Dirk, shit’s changed. I’ve changed…. Or technically I haven't...” He blinks, probably realizing what a bad start he is off to. 

He takes a breath and tries again. “It...doesn’t matter if you believe me _right now_ , but you don’t gotta worry anymore. The old Dave is dead. Long live Dave. And damn, I never thought I’d be happy over a dead Dave- enemies and all- but _I am._ I’m so fucking happy that he’s gone.”

 _What is this?_ Dirk's heart keeps beating and it feels like a million jagged splinters are pumping through his veins. _What's happening?_

“I don’t _want_ to be here, and I am so sorry that I am. I’m sorry and grateful to you for a lot of things. But... I can’t help it, and now there are things I have to get done, starting with going to school tomorrow. There are things in this world that are _wrong_ and apparently only I can make them _right_ , because everyone else has, like, _space dementia_ , I guess, and it’s _awful_ -”

Dirk wants to scream 'stop' but while Dave word vomits he is looking at Dirk with bare, red eyes and it’s just another note to add to the symphony of disturbing things that happened today.

“You can’t stop me.” Dave tries again, suddenly devoid of any emotion and this at least is something Dirk recognizes. It’s a challenge to him to see if he will exert his will through force, but Dirk learned long ago that one could not truly force people into compliance with fists. 

_\--Especially strangers._

He blinks.

“...Okay…” Dirk utters, mouth dry.

Dave nods once, as if some kind of understanding had been reached before he disappears again. Dirk sits alone in the kitchen staring off into space. He _knows_ he should go after Dave to demand answers, but the question:

_Who are you?_

_Who are you?_

_Who are you?_

Sits heavy in his chest. He doesn’t have the heart to ask. 

* * *

_Today was all kinds of awful,_ Dave blinks as he silently jogs up the steps to some semblance of privacy, _like simultaneously pouring sour milk onto cereal, eating it before realizing the inexcusable folly, THEN being covered in poisonous spiders kind of awful._

It kind of felt like he is covered in spiders _right now._

 _Tick Tock,_ hiss all the phantom broken clocks in his mind. Dave slams the door against them. In his room, Dave immediately collapses onto his alternate self’s bed. _My bed now_ , he guesses, blinking.

 _Well that sure was a day._ He sighs, flopping over so that he could stare blankly at the ceiling. _Christ,_ _I blinded Terezi._

Dave ran his fingers down his face in an action that wasn't entirely unlike an exasperated Karkat, desperately trying to get a handle on his life. _I blinded Terezi and basically wasn’t punished for it._

Just about everything left a lot of questions in Dave’s mind about society, and about his alternate-self in general. _Was it all Bro’s influence? Or was there always something darker within him?_ He definitely did not like thinking about it. _Is it just hate or fear?_ He tries to rationalize. _There must be a reason?_ But he couldn’t wrap his head around _anything._ _How could any version of me be so twisted?_ It all felt like personal betrayal. _Can you betray yourself?_ Apparently the answer was an emphatic _yes._

Absurdly, Dave wishes the timeline would break _more_ so another Dave could come help him kick his own past self’s ass. 

_It’s just a lot,_ he decides. _Fighting monsters makes sense, but what does one do when the monster is you?_ It feels like guilt is assaulting Dave from all directions, _H.A.T, John, Terezi, and now_ _Dirk._ It's too much.

 _Poor Dirk._ _Ughh, was I too crazy in the car? Does he hate me?_ Dave has no idea what to think, lost and alone in a world of strangers with familiar faces. I couldn't _let him keep me home though._

And while this version of Dirk most certainly wouldn't it had happened once, a long time ago. 

Dave's face is starting to hurt from all his frowning, _Ugh this is so dumb._ He wills himself to stop spiraling and instead stand and pace around. _I should see what kind of place I'm living in at the very least, if only for some more clues_. Looking around the room, Dave is strangely disappointed. There are a mass of wire bits and blank CDs in the drawers he bothers to open, which is puzzling; The posters of naked women make him think Alternate-Dave was trying WAY too hard to look hetero; and The weird-Troll propaganda posters, meanwhile, are just straight _embarrassing._

_Are these hand drawn? Ew, what a complete waste of talent._ Dave makes a mental note to burn them all later.

Besides the posters though, everything is just gray and dead. There is no music. _It's just really sad..._ Dave thinks. There is a computer though, which is good, but when Dave tries it, it looks like it is locked with both a regular password and some kind of special parental lock. Dave throws up his hands, _I probably cyber bully too! So, what is even the point?_ Then more darkly, _is there ever a point?_

 _The point is that I'm lonely. I still have a phone- maybe I could-_ He takes it out to examine it further. _Hmm, it's not great_ , Again there were no apps or contacts besides Dirk, It was troubling. _Maybe I could fix it?_ Dave fantasizes. _Not being able to message anyone is..._ He didn't know how to articulate his feelings, _a lot harder than I anticipated_ , he settles on. _Harder than being in this weird psycho terrorist’s room, who apparently had ZERO fun hobbies._

Dave grips the phone.

 _I mean maybe I should try…_ But who would he talk to? He is every troll’s nightmare in teenage form and he absolutely _terrified_ John. _Maybe Rose or Aradia would be good bets?_ _Rose might listen... and Aradia is a troll, yes, but she is also Time… She must feel all this discordance. Right?_

_Someone besides me must feel it._

_Ughh_. Dave hangs his head, the thought of messaging _anyone_ and _scaring_ them is sickening. In person wasn’t much better but he would at least have a better chance at explaining himself with full sincerity. 

_I don’t really have a lot of options_ . Dave closes his eyes, _I just have to kind of do tomorrow no matter what. Even if it's hard._ Feeling numb, he finally stops beating himself up mentally long enough to shut off the light and crawl under the covers.

He hadn’t noticed before but the bed sheets have black and white checkers, just like the ones in his own timeline. Dave finds both comfort and disquiet in that.

* * *

The next day, when Dave wakes up and realizes the terrible nightmare is still _real_ , he makes a decision to ‘roll with the punches’ _Yeah, maybe I inadvertently blinded my ex- alien girlfriend, and maybe I am the leader of what probably amounts to the early xenophobic Hitler Youth but I can probably...fix it?_ Dave yawns widely, getting up slowly, _Yeah,_ _just gotta roll with the punches…_  
  
If Dave knew what he was about to walk into, he might have amended ‘rolling with the punches’ to ‘absolutely sucker punched in the face by life.’

 _But hey,_ he comforts himself later, _we can’t all be seers._


	6. Don't Forget Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trolls arrive at school.

_I’m the rainbow in your jail cell_

_All the memories of_

_Everything you’ve ever smelled_

_Not alone, I’ll be there_

_Tell me when you want to go_

* * *

“Terezi Pyrope!” A human lady calls out, pen scratching on a clipboard.

“Present!” Terezi calls back, trying to look as erect and proud as possible, all her dread expertly masked.

Today was the _big day._

Terezi and eleven other trolls are gathered in the gym at the youth centre in the troll sector of town. Here, everyone will be introduced to each other before being transported to their new human school- _Prospit._ There, they will attend classes, and hopefully usher in a new era of human-troll peace. Terezi adjusts her glasses. _They act like this is supposed to be easy._

She isn’t dumb. She knows what will come and is appropriately somber, despite some of the other trolls who could not seem to keep their happiness and excitement from leaking out. Nepeta in particular is over the moon, “Do you think we’ll make some new _fur_ ends?” Terezi overhears her badger another girl who says something equally as bubbly and empty back.

 _They have no idea,_ Terezi can’t help but feel sick. _They are so nice, they don't deserve this._ Disquieted, she moves to the back of the room as the roll call continues, her mind lost to a different day just like this one.

 _\--Older humans and trolls saying how brave I am- how amazing I am for doing this, all the while so relieved it isn’t them who must martyr themselves for a better world._

Wayward emotion burns inside Terezi as she resolutely ignores whatever heartwarming speech the volunteer is giving.   
  


_We will not be accepted with open arms._ _  
  
_

_We will not be loved._ _  
  
_

_Trolls and humans will never get along._ _  
  
_

She fingers her hidden necklace. The cool chain catching on her trimmed claws.

She sighs.

 _The twelve of us have basically signed our own death warrants in joining this endeavor_. We are all _so stupid. It’s stupid, of course it’s stupid! I know it is._ Still, for some reason, she put her name down. They _all_ put their names down.

_I was alone the first time in Derse. Prospit will be different. They can’t stop all of us. Can’t ‘accidentally’ blind all of us..._

The thought of Dave Strider grips Terezi suddenly. The last time she saw _anything_ , and it was that _terrible_ human’s face. _What a ghost to have to bear..._ Heart racing, Terezi grips her cane so tightly she imagines her palms splitting open under the pressure- like the Earth during an earthquake.

 _Air._ _I need air._ She decides.

Silently, she ghosts towards the door at the back of the room. When she gets near to it she can hear a volunteer coordinator say, “Hey, are you okay?

Terezi grins manic and shark-like in response, flashing a thumbs up, “Fine. I just need to use the bathroom.” The door isn't even closed before she has to stop and take a few shaky deep breaths.

_Okay, okay, just breath. Breath..._

Sometimes she loses perspective of things. _Like how some people lost perspective of what a person is,_ she guesses. _Maybe it's not so different. This- them... The high and the low... Still..._ Terezi knows, _it's not nice being the victim of other people's decisions._

She can still hear Nepeta as the door swings shut, a smile present in her purr like voice. _I wonder if someone will throw acid in her face?_ Terezi thinks callously, _She’ll lose that smile really quick..._

Terezi shakes the horrid thought away. _What's wrong with me..?_ She squats down hoping no one will see her while she tries to regain herself. _Come on, in out, in out. That’s it, it will be okay. I’m not alone, I’m not alone, I’m not-_

She is interrupted.

“Terezi, are you alright?” a scratchy male voice hisses as the door swings open and is shut again. _It doesn't belong to any of the staff..._ Terezi's brain lags before it _clicks._

“Is that you, Karkat?” She is so incredulous she momentarily forgets she is panicking, “What are _you_ doing out here?”

As articulate as ever, Karkat answers, “I _uhh_ , I don’t know,” before awkwardly leaning against the wall beside her. "I was talking to Kanaya, but then I saw you and I just came out here!"

For one desperate second Terezi wishes she had working eyes, because Karkat must be _so_ ridiculous in his fancy new uniform. She allows another shark-tooth smile at the mental image. “Awww, did you come to see if I was alright?”

“I mean… kind of? And I guess I was worried about you getting lost if you really are blind.”

“I can see a few shapes.” She offers before frowning, _what does he mean by really blind?_ “Are you still being weird and talking nonsense?”

“It’s not nonsense!” Karkat flares up, “Your dragon egg lusus taught you to see with taste and smell and _shit_. It was a whole thing!”

“That sounds made up. Lusus don’t live on Earth. Even if they did exist back on Alternia I don’t see how _you_ would have any advanced knowledge on them. The humans took most of our texts at first contact.”

A groan escapes Karkat’s mouth. “I just _do_ , okay.”

“Hey, wait, if the dragon was an egg how could it teach me?” Terezi cross examined.

“I don’t know, mind shenanigans? You never explained it well. Look, forget I brought it up.” He sighs audibly, sounding resigned. 

_When did he...get so old?_ Terezi wonders, he didn’t sound like the Karkat she knew _at all_. She wants to blame nerves, _Poor little meek Karkles always seemed to be in a panic._ But he wasn’t _actually_ nervous or scared, just prickly and concerned.

It is a _mystery._

 _Maybe he's a bit sulky,_ she allows herself to guess, _Hmmm, so curious. No- Not just sulky, there is something else there…_ An unpleasant duty that must be performed. Connections that couldn’t be cut.

In a flash of insight, the word comes to her to describe this new Karkat.

 _Noble_.

_Like a knight._

_Hmmm_. The image of Karkat in a knight's garb is fun and nonsensical but it makes her feel terribly unsteady despite the positive connotation. _I don’t know what to feel. Should I be happy that Karkat’s weird fantasy makes him more like me, or should I be sad?_ Unsure, Terezi elects to change the subject entirely.

“So, Karkles, what colour do you think you will bleed today, hmmm?” Blood colour always embarrassed the poor boy for some reason. The threat of violence, as well. 

But Karkat doesn’t flinch _at all._ It makes Terezi feel weird again so she fidgets with the embroidered Libra emblem on her own stupidly fancy uniform, not wanting to touch her necklace in front of Karkat.

“You really can’t smell it, huh?” Karkat says after a second.

“Gee, you think?” Terezi removes her tinted glasses and exaggeratedly rolls her milky and scarred eyes.

He _still_ doesn’t flinch.

“I already told you once! It’s not my fault you can’t remember.” Karkat mutters with such exaggerated offence that it breaks through Terezi’s thoughts and makes her grin.

 _Whatever was wrong with Karkat made him way funnier._ She breathes out, _Huh! I guess I really am not alone._ Terezi sticks out her tongue at him. It’s dumb and childish but just for a moment she forgets her own anxieties and the fact she is supposed to be a torchbearer for a new chapter in history. In this moment she is with an old friend. 

_I missed this._ Terezi breath hitches. 

“We should go back inside… They probably want to load us up soon.” Karkat says hesitantly, and just like that the comforting spell ends.

“....Yeah.” Terezi pops some of her joints and rises. Karkat doesn’t try to help her, but he does wait.

“When did you tell me?” Terezi asks, “About the blood I mean.”

“It was in another life.” He shrugs, holding open the door.

* * *

Inside, the long speeches have blessedly stopped and all the other trolls are nervously talking amongst themselves as they line up. Terezi cannot pick anyone out of the noise in particular. _It’s probably for the best that they get all this unruly behaviour out now... After all, there will be no happy chatting once we cross town._

The bus is equally hectic and chatty. Terezi is stupidly glad when Karkat hisses at her to take a seat with him. When the engine starts Terezi can feel her throat close. _This is really it, huh?_

“ _S_ -so why did you tell me in _another_ life but not this one? That’s unfair!” She finds herself asking if only to keep herself from fidgeting.

“Well, I don’t know! Maybe later I _should_ tell you, but there is a lot going on right this moment... and I have a feeling it would be kinda problematic and just maybe I don't want to get blocked again or upset you during a pretty important thing.” He trails off before adding with some disdain, “- _aaand_ , technically I didn’t _tell_ you the first time! You cheated and used your creepy Seer of Mind powers.” 

_God, is he still on about this?_ Terezi thinks before something _blinks_ within her. _Huh, did he say Seer of Mind?_ Terezi tilts her head, nostrils flaring. For a split second she can _see_ Karkat shift his gaze from her to the window. She can _see_ everyone on the bus; though, it isn’t exactly sight so much as an explosion of color and other sensory information. _It's every shade on the hemospectrum, and then more_! She thinks, disoriented. 

However, when Terezi tries to get a good look at whatever strange hallucination that surrounds Karkat, the _drunk-dizzy-miasma_ of colours _fade_. Their abrupt absence leaving her fuzzy black reality that much more awful and unreal. 

_That shade of red doesn’t exist as a non-human blood colour anyway…_ she decides blinking rapidly, _Except- No, no._ _My mind is playing tricks on me, that’s all._ She fights the urge to grip her necklace.

 _Maybe it is Gamzee’s drugs?_ She even thinks, before confusion over who Gamzee even _is_ can sink in. _Someone said the name at rollcall, did I first hear it there?_ Realizing she hasn’t responded, she quickly says, “Why would maroon blood be problematic? You’re so funny, Karkles!”

“As funny as a heart attack.” He grumbles not at all rising to her bait.

Both Terezi and Karkat lapse into strained silence until the bus hits a pothole and Terezi is terribly aware of what street they are on. _We are almost there._ The bus has grown eerily quiet, Terezi misses the disorienting chatter like she knew she would.

 _It’s not a particularly long ride from the troll side of town to the human one, in fact it would probably be possible to walk on a good day_ , Terezi notes, _the weather is nice today. We all could have walked. But then again... it's folly to wish for more time._

Terezi’s hammering heart slowed when she noticed that, once again, Karkat is oddly calm. _Little panicky Karkles is handling this better than me?_ _In fact, he is handling it more than a lot of the others it seems_ , all of whom were now nervously shuffling and fretting among themselves. Terezi could even smell some perspiration. _Ugh, why did I want smell powers again?_

“Aren’t you scared?” Terezi asks incredulously after the tenseness of the situation begins to crush her.

“No. Why?” He says with genuine confusion and obliviousness. 

_Don’t you remember how scary humans can be?_ She wants to say, _Don’t you remember what they did to us?_

-but it’s too late.

The din of the crowd only just begins to filter into Terezi’s sensitive ears. No one else can hear or see it yet. Certainly not Karkat, but It slowly gets louder and _louder,_ until it is an almost deafening wall of noise. 

“What is that?” A girl in the front asks.

Any answer is lost when a volley of rotten eggs hits the bus windows in a series of jarring _SPLATS_. There is a _cry_ and a clamour of someone with large horns trying to move through a smaller space. Then more confusion as the roars of many angry humans become clearer, a terrible a cascading cacophony of violence:

_“Go home monsters!”  
_

_“Die!”  
_

_“Keep our kids safe”  
_

_“Keep our schools monster free!”_   
  


Finishing her conversation, Terezi points out the window, in what is probably in the wrong direction, “-Because we have to walk through that.” There is _no way_ Karkat missed seeing the massive angry mob of protesters gathering outside Prospit High. Terezi can hear the click of Karkat’s jaw dropping, but can’t actually bring herself to feel smug.

_I can't be sure but, I bet they have signs and weapons to match those slogans. The kind that advocate for the kind of peace and freedom you get through militant blood purity._

_'I_ _n a way... I can even understand it.'_ She almost confesses to Karkat but instead bites her tongue when the sound of rocks and other makeshift projectiles ping against the bus’ hull. _Oh, it’s going to be a bloodbath,_ Terezi notes with cold disappointment. _Here we were being paraded into a lion’s den and can do nothing except be docile, complicit victims._

It is _maddening_ what has to be done to prove that humans and trolls could coexist. That they need not be afraid of the strangeness of each other. That is the whole point of this _thing_ \- to make them think that the scary violent trolls were _just like them._ When really here they were proving a similar and flawed thesis all on their own.

Rage builds in Terezi's gut. _T_ _his was supposed to be a peaceful integration!_ Yet, the size of this hateful outpouring, _over children_ , is ridiculous. There were thousands of protestors lined up and down the block, all booing and hissing and jeering. Saying collectively: _We don’t want you here... Get out. We hate you._

 _Maybe I hate you too._ Terezi wants to say, _maybe I hate what this all represents._

Her breath catches in her clogged throat. _It isn’t like this last time…_ She has to remind herself as the bus rolls to a stop, still some way away from where they are supposed to be at the parking lot. _This time I don’t have to worry about losing my sight_. She lets off an inappropriate laugh as the coordinators help them exit.

Terezi leads the group even though it was planned that they were to start with someone smaller, cuter, and with blunter teeth at the front. Somehow it just feels right that it should be her bearing the brunt of the hate. _After all, why ruin another perfectly good body?_

She blinks, her ruined eyes and thinks, _Hmm though it would have been nice to be able to see the crowds._ Not truly understanding the size and scope is fine, but amid the cacophony her imagination contorted everyone of those screaming blank faces into Dave _fucking_ Strider’s. 

_He’s not here,_ Terezi wills while suppressing a shudder. She then begins her trek.

She feels Karkat suddenly, the newness of his actions unnerving, but still, he remains brave. The other kids slowly clump behind him. "We're here." He whispers so quietly it might have been Terezi's imagination.

"Okay." She whispers back. Then, together- the twelve trolls march.   
  


* * *

Right off the bat, it becomes clear _no one_ is going to make it through the throngs of protesters. The crowd is too big and too bent on keeping trolls away. There isn’t a single friendly face anywhere to be seen, nor kind words to be heard.

 _We still have to try though…_ Terezi breaths, lips curling. _Because even if things are doomed from the start we always still have to try._

Terezi doesn’t even flinch when one of her imagined Daves throws a rock that smashes directly into her face.

She just bleeds teal through grinning, laughing teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to the person who wanted to see Dave and Rose's conversation. That is the next thing for sure. Also formatting is impossible. No one understands it.


	7. Venice Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Jade witness the protest. Dave and Rose have a strange conversation.

_Do it all then it all again_

_Make it up and you make a friend_

_Paddle on just around the bend_

_Find a place where you can see_

  
  


* * *

“John, are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Jade asks in horror.

John can only blink in response. The two cousins had decided to walk to school early in anticipation for integration, they imagined a party of some kind, something _fun_ \- They had not expected to see half the town present with malicious protest signs.

“I guess this is what Rose was talking about yesterday…” John says when he finally finds his voice.

Jade just nods.

 _It’s just… so weird,_ John bites his lip. He didn’t interact with trolls _a lot_ , but his Dad always told him to not be rude to others, even if the _other_ was an alien. _I mean... it is common knowledge that trolls are more stubborn, violent, and unruly than humans_ John tries to rationalize; however, in the face of an angry, almost rabid crowd of humans, that particular line of logic no longer rang quite as true.

John didn’t know what to feel, lost that so many strangers could feel so much and he so little. All he knew for certain is that seeing adults yell obscenities at children made him _incredibly_ uncomfortable to watch.

“They’re bleeding!” Jade recoils, hands drawn to her face.

-and indeed, it is a _ghastly_ sight.  
  
John flinches at the harsh sounds of rocks and other junk being used as projectiles. Some of the objects bounced away harmlessly; but _more_ cause rainbow colours to bloom across the troll’s bodies.

“W-we should do something…” Jade whispers.

“Y-Yeah…” _But what is there to do?_ Anxiety and shame claw its way down John’s back, reminding him that he was no hero. Instead he is condemned to watch on.  
  
  


* * *

  
Rose Lalonde purses her lips. 

She had been invited to walk to school with her friends that morning, but instead chose to journey alone. _I have a mission_ , she told herself, _I must not be distracted from it._ Though, deep down, she also had a selfish desire to avoid seeing the horror on either Jade or John’s faces when they saw the reality of human and troll interaction. _The hard twisted nature of it..._

Her rapid pace slows. She is near Prospit School’s sports field up on a small grassy hill that is still wet with morning dew. It is the perfect spot because it is _just_ far enough away from the mass of humanity to observe the protest without becoming involved; but, also, _just_ elevated enough that she can scan the faces of the crowd.

 _Hmmm._ She can't see who she is looking for yet.

 _Would it change them?_ She ponders idly, mind wandering back to John and Jade, _would it corrupt them? Am I corrupt for having my mind go down this avenue at all?_ She shakes her head. _I'm not quite like them, but I know the truth. The violence of humanity does not phase me..._ Or rather it should not phase her- but, there was something jarring about watching a particularity jagged stone crash into a troll girl wearing a Virgo insignia. It makes Rose’s heart twist in a truly baffling way.

Another troll, this one a male bleeding yellow, briefly sparked with psionics before pushing some of the flying rocks away. Instead of being alarmed at the display, Rose is, again, strangely relieved; until the small display of near-illegal power and _otherness_ cause the crowd to surge in anger, redoubling their cruel effort. 

The yellow-bleeding troll struggles to catch the greater volume of projectiles, but when his concentration is broken he couldn’t seem to summon it again, getting the troll equivalent to a black eye for his trouble. 

A larger blue-bleeding troll steps forward to shield him, but he too struggles to move forward. All the trolls are struggling, really. _Can't they see the futility?_ Rose wonders, _There are far too many people, rocks, and angry faces._ Rose tilts her head, it didn’t even really seem logical to _try_ considering the odds that today would end in anything but violence.

 _At the very least_ , Rose thinks distantly, _I hope whoever signed off on this can see what kind of damage they caused.  
_

Regaining herself, Rose forces her eyes away. The protests and bleeding trolls, as awful as they were to witness, where not her primary concern. Instead, a certain _absence_ was what truly disturbed her- Dave is not present. _An event he personally and meticulously planned?_ _One championed by HAT and its more violent adult counterpart?_ It is very strange indeed. Doubly so if she considers John’s odd tale from yesterday.

 _Where are you Dave?_ She spies around then, like magic, Rose’s hind-brain tells her to turn around and look _up._ She is in a shadow, but she still blinks at the sun, almost like how a smaller animal might freeze before a bird of prey.

 _There...Up by the gym building I can see a staircase leading to the roof..._ She frowns, _was that always there?_ It is painted red and says: NO STUDENT ACCESS UNLESS EMERGENCY. It is impossibly far away but, for a second, she _swears_ she can see a blonde figure. _He's there_ , she knows without knowing why, it is a deep and unmovable truth.

She makes her way to the stairs, deciding that, _This is indeed an emergency of a sort, it shouldn't matter if I trespass just a little._ As she ascends, the even higher vantage point gives her a better view of the violence below.

For a brief second, she considers the terrible possibility that Dave is up here as a _sniper_ , but she quickly dismisses it as Hollywood fantasy. _Something about Dave and guns seems wrong._ But _why_ she feels this way is a another mystery to her. Annoyed, she is left with a puzzle, _If he is not engaged in violence or sniping, then why is Dave hiding up on the emergency staircase instead of downstairs with his devoted followers?_ As a child, Rose had always hated it when she could not make puzzle pieces fit together.

 _What does this mean..._ There is no clear answer.

At the top level, just before the roof, the narrow stairs flatten out into a little deck surrounded by a concrete safety wall that is more of a reminder rather than something solid. Dave is leaning against it anyway, face turning towards her in silent askance. He must be surprised to see her because his eyebrows raise ever so minutely and there are also a few dried stains under his nose and chin that he doesn't immediately wipe away.

 _Blood?_ Rose wonders absently, _it's red..._ Belatedly, it occurs to her that she should at least be _a little_ afraid to be alone with Dave in such a dangerously isolated and high up area, but she can’t seem to summon any feeling one way or the other. 

_He has always been more scared of me than I of him,_ Rose rationalizes, _siblings are like that._ Her benign manner is abruptly rumpled by the stray thought. Dave and her were certainly NOT siblings despite any similar features.

 _Why would I even think that! Come on, focus! what's wrong with me?_ Luckily, Rose is afforded a chance to recompose herself when Dave silently turns back to the protest, body taut with unknown tension. His body language is enough to draw her attention and give her pause. _How odd?_

Rose takes a moment to look at Dave- _really_ look at him. He does not look triumphant or giddy in any way, instead he just seems world weary and crestfallen. It's not what she imagined. _What happened to you?_ Rose wants to ask, but instead finds herself cautiously joining him against the wall, letting a pale slender hand dangle over the edge. The two remain in silence for a while, each sensing that the other wanted to speak but could not find the words.

Time seems to stretch out _painfully._

Rose isn’t really sure what she is expecting. _An explanation would be nice, but alas I lack the proper questions._ Her eyes flick back to the carnage. Almost all of the trolls are bleeding now- bits of rainbow blood flecking the street.

 _Only a few remain relatively unscathed..._ _A shorter one with small horns, a girl with fish fins, and the one with a Virgo symbol._

 _Hmm I wonder what blood colour that shorter one has?_ It’s another stray thought, odd only because she hadn't been curious about the others. She quickly distracts herself from it by looking back to the Virgo. When that too becomes uncomfortable, she looks away, but still- time after time her gaze wanders back.

 _What’s wrong with me?_ Rose wonders again before realizing, h _er uniform is altered_... _it’s subtly different from the others. That must be why she stands out to me. I didn’t think trolls cared about fashion._ Yes, that is a perfectly reasonable explanation, but is still doesn't seem exactly right.

She is staring a bit too hard, because she has to suppress a jump when a can of soup of all things, catches the Virgo troll in the knee. She tumbles to the ground, it's only for a split second, but when she rights herself her arm is sparkling with drops of jade.

 _This is a troll, and a stranger,_ Rose wants to protest as her body tenses up in unexplained revulsion. _So why…_ An image of the jade-blood flashes through her mind:

_\--She is holding a chainsaw in her delicate hands. There is a gaping hole in her chest; it is barely covered by a violet sash. Her ordinarily grey skin is glowing an ethereal opalescent white, and it’s--_

The words and feelings escape leaving her mind bitter. The thoughts: _why don’t they just leave!? Surely that’s more merciful_ roiling in her brain. _They aren’t going to get inside. They are just putting themselves in danger. It’s reckless and irresponsible._

_\- and, and- It’s...._

_It's too painful_.

Rose’s heart beats a couple times in her throat. A huge headache forming behind her eyes. _Please just go away. Go home._ In a way it’s easier to shake the thoughts away. Remind herself that what she is seeing is the inevitable result of countless miscalculations and that she shouldn’t even care. _It’s not like they’re my friends._ _It’s not like they are human._ She has to blink rapidly to keep her eyes dry.

Of course it is at this great moment of turmoil that Dave finally speaks, snapping Rose from her reverie and forcing her to confront the task at hand.

“Sup, Rose.” Dave says, apparently trying to be calm and casual. Rose knows he’s neither of these things, his knuckles are too white.

“Hello, Mr. Strider.” She responds ready to engage in a linguistic battle, but already this is the wrong move. Something _falls_ in Dave at the sound of his preferred nickname, almost as if Rose proved something unpleasant to him.

“S’just Dave.”

“Whatever you say.” She says with a side-eye gaze.

He fidgets. It is oddly humanizing. Rose doesn't buy it. “How’d ya find me?” He asks eventually.

It’s odd. He doesn’t take his eyes off the trolls. He seems to be tracking one in particular, but Rose can’t tell for sure with his shades on.

“Just a lucky guess.” Rose shrugs because whatever possessed her to come here couldn’t actually be articulated properly so she just adds, “I needed a better view.”

“Oh.” Dave hums and then adds, “And here I thought you wanted to spend some quality time together.”

He grimaces and lapses into a grim silence when the trolls finally begin to backtrack. Moving slowly at first and then with great haste. It is only when they start loading back into the bus, that Rose finds that she can relax somewhat. She looks down and is distantly startled, _Are my knuckles also gripping the wall tightly? They match Dave's almost perfectly._

She smooths out her skirt as if to reset a configuration. 

“Pretty depressing isn’t it.” Dave says, and it takes a second to register that he’s talking about the retreating trolls.

Rose wrinkles her nose incredulously, “Why do _you_ care? It’s you and your family’s fault that they are being ‘ _welcomed’_ by such a lovely crowd at all. Without your meddling this might have actually been a much happier day.”

“Maybe.” He shrugs, not bated by bluntness, “I guess it is.”

Again, Rose expects smugness or pride, but is instead met with resignation and guilty fatigue. She doesn’t know what to make of it.

 _He can’t… He can’t be feeling bad can he?_ Something is terribly _off._

“Why aren’t you down there with the rest of the town?”

Dave has the gall to look hurt but then tilts his head in an eerily Lalonde way, responding “I could ask _you_ the same thing.”

Rose is incensed, “No, you _really_ can’t. Our circumstances are _very_ dissimilar.”

Rose can see Dave stumble, tongue twisting into a low hiss. “H.A.T. Yes, right. I keep…. _forgetting_.” He rubs a hand roughly through his hair and face, pulling down his sunglasses as he does so. He gazes deep into Rose with stormy red eyes. _Were they always so red?_ she thinks, momentarily breathless.

“But _still_ , you can admit that something is wrong can’t you… or- _oh_.”

He sees something he isn’t supposed to, Rose knows. She miscalculated something drastically, or at the very least did not have all the data. Dave’s voice turns accusing, “You don’t feel the same way about trolls. Not like John and Jade, do you? They were probably _so_ happy- but not you.”

_D-Did he just call me a xenophobe?_

“I…” It was a very odd feeling being called out for being xenophobic by the leader of _a highly xenophobic youth hate group._ Rose would have been livid if Dave wasn’t being so deceptively genuine, _and if he hadn't just cut to a core of one of my greatest fears.  
_

“You need to understand _everything_ scientifically. Don’t you?” He continues, “You need to scrutinize it and categorize it until everything into neat packages-” Dave's stare become unnerving, “But there is nothing _neat_ about this. Nothing logical about what you _see_. Of course it confuses you. Of course it makes you angry. But who is that anger really directed at?” 

It should be creepy, the way Dave was speaking, but it doesn’t register that way because he just seems so _real_ in this moment. As absurd as that thought was. His onslaught powers on, “You _need_ things to make sense, but your feelings _never_ make sense. Am I right? Not when they are so hidden and buried under years of crap that doesn’t actually belong to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rose asks, something icy prickling under her skin. She is morbidly fascinated. 

“The Rose I know would not be content in an illogical system. Not when it’s so clear that it's unjust.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean!” She repeats with more frustration.

“I honestly don’t know.” Dave hangs his head and the moment of intensity evaporates, “But if you _want to understand_ you should definitely _not_ talk to that jade blood.”

_Not talk…?_

“You saw me looking at her.” Rose narrows her eyes. _Is that who he was tracking?_

“Nope. Just a lucky guess. ”

 _Is this a thinly veiled threat? She couldn’t make sense of it. Does he truly mean for me NOT to talk to her? Will he use force if I try to befriend her?_ He’s smiling in a way where his mouth doesn’t move, but it doesn't seem wholly unfriendly. _So he does want me to talk to the troll but WHY?_ _What purpose would that serve?_

Rose, unlike her friends, had not designed to speak to the trolls sensing potential conflict and heartbreak. _Dave, the little incel,_ should not know this. Should _absolutely_ not be able to sense any of her thoughts or anxieties- but here he was, prodding her with a calm, light tone like he had known her for _years,_

 _But will Dave be this same calm Dave in future if the trolls finally do manage to enter the building? Would he hurt me like he hurt that teal blooded girl at his old school? Would he hurt HER?_ The thought of more jade blood perturbs Rose and makes her wince, but not as much as the though of puppets and their strings. _I seem to have been entered into some kind of long-con,_ Rose decides, _it's the only thing that makes sense._

 _But is it Dave's or someone else's?_ _Whose violence do I have to fear?_

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She says solemnly. 

However, this too he seems to pick up on. Sputtering quickly he clarifies, “I-I mean I ain’t going to hurt anybody,” He puts up his hands in a mock ‘don’t shoot’ pose. His sudden increase in empathy and intuition, once again, uncanny valley levels of _creepy._

_Is he promising me non-violence? What is he trying to prove?_

“I find that _very_ hard to believe.”

“You don’t _have_ to?.. I just wish you did….”

“Is that what you told John?”

Dave flinches, “I- uh, kind of…? What happened with John was a _different_ Dave.”

 _Ah, here it is,_ Rose snorts, _an argument like that would not stand up in court._

“So, _you_ didn’t brutalize that teal troll, _you_ didn’t create a climate of hate that-,” Rose gestures to the emptying streets, “-those trolls now have to enter into, and _you_ most certainly did not make John’s life so miserable he is afraid to go anywhere alone.”

“Pretty... much?” Dave offers submissively.

“It’s disgusting how you don’t take responsibility for your actions.”

Probably bad form baiting a known sadist, but he doesn’t react beyond raising his eyebrows and once again roughly rubbing his face. _His features are so like my own…_ Rose notes again with contempt. A sour note cutting through her vicious glee at his discomfort.

“I mean- I wasn’t wrong though, was I? You were watching Kanaya?”

“That name means nothing to me.” Rose frowns.

Dave abruptly stops his actions, uncurling. “Well, maybe it should? Maybe you should be curious about it? O-or..." His intense gaze returns in full force, "Maybe somehow you can’t be.” Something flicks through him, horror maybe, some kind of existential dread. “I never considered that maybe you couldn’t be!” He looks panicked, _real_ panicked not just stoic-panicked, “Haven’t you ever had memories that don’t belong to you, had a feeling you couldn’t explain? Haven’t you ever been through a change and not known why you suddenly feel the way you do?”

 _What is this?_ Rose frowns, _has he gone mad?_ Still, her heart rate is increasing, and nothing Dave said sounds like a lie. 

_So many strange things,_ Rose blinks before she narrows her eyes, “Are you saying you're a changed man?” 

“Oh Hallelujah, how I’ve seen the light,” Dave mocks then goes very still, “Nah, _not_ me, it’s everyone else.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“You don’t remember and I don’t _know_ if you are capable of remembering.”

“You’ve stopped making sense.”

He turns his gaze skyward, “Why do you hate trolls, Rose?” The question hits her like a blast of lightning. Something equal parts cutting, all encompassing, and unexpected. 

“I-I certainly have never been cruel enough to spray acid into their faces.”

“Is _that_ worth a gold star, though? I didn't maim anyone today so praise me?”

 _What is he trying to say to me?_ “You're changing the topic!” She says accuses. She almost rubs her hand down her face in frustration, but stops when she realizes it would mirror Dave’s actions more. Instead, she grits her teeth painfully in a facsimile of a snarl.

“Sorry.” He says, sheepish and all too aware that he had unbalanced her.

Rose decides she intensely dislikes being here. This new calmer Dave is unnerving and unhinged; yet, somehow, when she opens her mouth it is not to spew condemnation, rather, she asks: “What about _you_ then? Do you have a reason? Why do _you_ hate trolls?”

“I don’t."

Rose stares. She _knew_ about his father- knew about the kind of person he was- or rather _had been_. This kind of bare face renouncement seems...

_Impossible-_

_And yet..._

"I _really_ don't." Dave continues, "That’s the gag. I _really really_ just want all of us to get along.”

“You're full of shit.” Rose says, absolutely disturbed when he shrugs and seemingly remains genuine.

_A different Dave, huh?_

A crow calls in the distance before Dave bows his head, “Do you believe that in another life, in another place we could have all been friends?” He says and it almost feels like a non-sequitur.

Rose pauses, instead of answering she oddly imagines being surrounded by darkness and stars.

_\--It’s grim but hopeful and made all the sweeter because she isn’t alone. The jade is there, dressed differently, with the Virgo astrological sign printed proudly across her chest in startling colour instead of dull grey._

_She leans in… and…_

The image fades.

Rose doesn’t say a word.

Dave seems to find his own meaning though because his mouth tightens. Rose assumes he is trying to smile but is failing miserably to convey it. “Excuse me, I have to head to the office. Until next time, Seer of Light.” He says and its tinged with strange affection. He gives an exaggerated bow, which is _ridiculous_ , before disappearing through the top level fire door.

Curiously no alarm sounds. _He must have deactivated it somehow..._ When the door clicks shut there is a renewed electronic hum indicating that Rose cannot follow. _I couldn’t if I wanted to,_ She sighs. Briefly, and because no one can see, Rose sits down and curls her arms over her knees. Her mind alight with more questions than answers.

There are faded police sirens in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conversations with intuitives are crazy, huh? Anyone an intuitive in the house?


	8. Tearjerker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave changes his schedule and gets further clarity from Rose. Meanwhile, the trolls are finally able to go to class.

_My mouth fell open_   
_Hoping that the truth_   
_Would not be true_   
_Refuse the news_   
  
_I'm feeling sick now_

* * *

Dave closes the fire exit door behind him as quickly as possible, releasing the hold of Time around the alarm.

 _Oh mannn…_ He grimaces at the exertion, the seconds returning to where they were supposed to be in a dizzying whir. _They don’t want to want to listen to me_ _any more,_ he thinks with a hint of dismay- or rather _would_ think if he could makes his senses stop screaming _ROSE ROSE ROSE_ at top volume.

He had just talked to Rose! 

_I actually spoke to her!_ His excitement is quick to turn to shame and embarrassment. _But she doesn't know who I am... And what the hell even was that conversation? I'm so awkward_ ,Dave slumps against the wall slowly sliding his bottom to the ground.

Meeting Rose was _something_ \- But seeing her so seemingly detached while Kanaya was being brutalized below them was jarring to say the least. _So like Rose but but also not. The real Rose would never be so vacant while watching her friends bleed..._

 _Nononon don't think like that. That kind of thinking is dangerous_. She is _real_ a _nd it isn’t exactly detachment._ _A detached Rose is different..._ The specter of the grimdark possession haunts Dave as Rose’s too wide smile flashes in his head, a shining light wrapped in enigmatic darkness. Dave suppresses a shudder, pressing the heel of his palm into his face. 

_Gog_ , he breaths.

 _There is something to her though, right?_ Dave questions, wishing desperately he had someone else to ask. _She was looking at Kanaya an awful lot. T_ _hey are strangers but...._ _That should count, right?_

It _had_ to count.

 _But oh God, Kanaya, Terezi, Karkat… they are all here_. _What are the chances? Even the dead trolls. It had to mean s o m e t h i n g._ Seeing Karkat had almost made Dave's heart _crack-_ _We are together,_ he comforts himself, _Something like that_ _has to matter, doesn’t it?_

 _Do any of them remember?_ Dave blinks but then frowns, _would they even want to?_ Humanity, it seemed, desperately wanted trolls gone. Was it not cruel to ask them to wake up in this kind pf climate? _They ALREADY survived cruelty and injustice. So why would we be spit out into a world like this?_ Dave could almost cry at the unfairness of it all. _Some planet we built huh, some prize this is._ Though, of course, this place isn't a prize- it is an abandoned imperfect timeline.

_There is also the little moral quandary of asking them to remember dying...._

Dave tries to shake anyway his dark thoughts but instead they twist and dig in deeper. _Rose is real,_ he knows, _But I'm real and I didn't do anything to stop it..._

When projectiles had started to be thrown. Dave _almost_ stopped time again, but he forced himself to let it go of all the heat and gears. He had _desperately_ wanted to act, but realistically, what could he do? Fly overhead? _I don't even know if I can still fly_. Stop time longer? _It would only postpone the inevitable…_ Anything involving Time beyond a few seconds seemed to be _impossible_ with Skadia apparently so far away. He can barely catch his breath as is and all he stopped was a few seconds around the door alarm. 

His hands come away from his face red. _Is my nose bleeding?_ He licks his upper lip. _Yup._ He grits his teeth unhappily, _Stupid useless superpowers._

Today had been one _colossal_ disappointment, but Dave tries to focus back on the positives. _Society sucks, my friends hate me, I'm still in my personal hell, no one remembers... buuut we’re all here? We’re all alive…_ _That absolutely has to count for something._ _Plus, beyond Rose’s weird apathy, it seemed like she, Jade, and John are decisively not involved with my alternate-self’s bullshit. So, that’s nice…_

He stares down at his bloodied hand.

_It’s nice they don't know me._

_Aren’t poisoned by me…._

Dave absently bites into his finger nail, a new speck of blood welling up. _It does imply that whatever wickedness helped fracture this timeline just exists inside me though..._ An uncomfortable, but familiar feeling settles deep within his gut as he forces his thumb away from his face. It is not unlike the creeping cacophony of broken clocks that have been making his skin crawl.

 _What would it take for a knight to twist?_ He wonders, thoughts turning sharp.

When a protester threw that first stone at Terezi, Dave had _burned._ So, maybe it was something to do with that? _Injustice pointed in the wrong direction...I_ _nstead of fighting for others I fight for myself. Instead of trying to fix problems I just let the world shatter so I could reshape it in whatever twisted way I wanted, or probably, more accurately, what Bro wanted._

_Ughhhh_ , Dave hangs his head.

Needless to say, Dave is _sufficiently_ creeped out by his very existence. _Why do I even remember? What does Time have to do with anything? Why me…?_ Whatever it was, it had to be a mistake. A forgotten frog, a missed genome sequence.... _something._

He almost laughs. 

“Okay…” he exhales finally getting to his feet. “Looks like I’m the only one at all qualified to try to sort this out so, I guess the doctor is in?” If anything, after struggling for so long against the tumour, redmiles, and an exploding green sun Dave maybe knew a thing or two about trying to combat a cancer.

* * *

  
  


Dave’s plan isn’t exactly a good one. He _knows_ that- But he also knows _profoundly_ that he was never meant to be a ‘big picture’ person. But it's okay because, amid the chaos of the morning, Dave had seen _Terezi leading the trolls._ This had all sorts of horrible implications for him and his alternate-self, mainly _why_ he targeted her and so forth. However, it also meant it really was only a matter of time before she succeeded and the other trolls gained access to Prospit. 

_She will never take no for an answer._ _That means the trolls should be able to come to school soon- I just needs to be in a position to talk to them when they do_.

 _Like with any sickness,_ Dave knew, _it would be a long battle. I just need to make sure to be in a position to receive help when it comes_. _Soooo... The plan is waiting._ Shame twists at him, but Dave ignores the voice that sounds suspiciously like Bro telling him he is useless. _It's the best plan, if I act without knowing I might hurt something I don't understand._

He sighs, foot steps echoing painfully loud in the empty hallway, “Okay, okay… uhhh, I think this is the right way.”

Walking down the corridor, Dave is surprised that the layout is starting to make sense. There were signs everywhere that he hadn’t noticed yesterday, which is doubly embarrassing as they were coloured a bright eye-bleed yellow.

Dave eventually finds what he is looking for, it is a plain door- the first in a row of five, tucked away in an obscure little cranny adjacent to the office. He knocks on it and is greeted by a very short, very dark skinned man. He has a ridiculous smile on his face and is wearing an even more ridiculous pink shirt.

“Mr. Deuce?” Dave asks, tilting his head slightly at the name, but doesn't bother asking if the man knows him or not.

“That’s my name, don't wear it out!” The man chirps. Dave blinks, he is the most chipper person he has met to date. It’s a little dizzying after spending the morning with Rose amid a hate fueled riot.

Perhaps noting Dave’s discomfort Mr. Deuce more seriously adds, “How can I help you young Strider?” _Ahh so he does know me, what a shame._

“You're my councilor, right? Counselors are totally things that help a student with schedule problems?”

“Yes in-de-de!”

 _He should get a chipper award, the most chipper award goes to him_. Dave blinks again still entirely unaccustomed to such unabashed joy, “Great, then I would like to change my schedule.”

“Oh!” The counselor actually looks shocked, like this is the craziest plot twist anyone could have ever sprung on him, “I-is there any reason?” _Yes, I miss my friends, and I want to get as far away from anyone associated with HAT,_ but Dave doesn’t say that. 

“Wanted to switch electives, maybe try an honours math.” Dave says blithely instead. Mr. Deuce is small and seems nice, but some distant part of Dave still wonders if the adult would yell at him for this or try to put him in a chokehold.

He tries to relax when none of these things immediately happen.

“Oh welllll, we could probably move you up in the math no problem,” Mr. Deuce pulls up some records and scans through them, “I’m not sure about the electives though, most of the classes are full, and if we were to change one we would have to shuffle your whole timetable.”

 _Yes, amazing_ , “What’s available?”

“Well, law has a few spaces, same with metalshop, art, mythology, and all the new troll augmented courses, of course.” His face falls a little, presumably from knowing way more about the other-Dave than Dave himself did, “N-not that you would be interested in that!”

“Nah, they actually sound good. Can you get me into one?”

“W-whatever for?”

“I think I just want to understand the new students, _uh,_ more?” Dave offers as an explanation, but stupidly tacks on a, “peace, and brotherhood, and all that.” at the end.

For a second, the councilor goes silent. Dave thinks he must be trying to think up the most polite way to tell him to ‘piss right off.’ Instead, the short bastard starts _tearing up._ “Th-that’s… the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!” he cries.

 _Well, hot damn…He does have a kind heart,_ Dave marvels.

“If we move around some of your classes we can probably get you into both troll biology and history!” The man audibly blows his nose, “You can probably keep most of your teachers but just in a different time slot.”

“Cool.”

“Also, to make this work you are going to have to drop art and take one of the left over electives. Your choices are either metalshop or law. Which would you like?”

Terezi would probably take law. There is no way any incarnation of Terezi would _not_ take law.

“Shop.” Dave says hesitantly. 

Mr. Deuce smiles as he types in all the relevant information and hits the ‘print’ button on the new schedule.

“Thanks man, you’re a lifesaver.” Dave smiles weakly as he takes the piece of paper.

Mr. Deuce glows with pride, happy with a job well done; however, he misses the fraction of a second Dave’s face falls, pinches with sudden self loathing and dread. Dave wants to see all the trolls _desperately_ , it was part of his plan! But how could I force my presence on them like that? Would it paint a target on their backs? Could I protect them at all? 

Judging by this morning, the answer wasn’t readily clear.

He feels like a coward when he walks out the door. 

* * *

_School sucks when half the school hates you and the other half loves you for all the wrong reasons_ , Dave decides.

The next week follows a kind of grotesque pattern.

In the morning the alternative Dirk wakes Dave up and makes him breakfast, all the while looking like he has a lot to say but is too scared to pull the trigger. _Dirk may be a weird goo-clone of Bro, but it’s always my own face I see when he looks at me like that_ \- Another scared and traumatized little boy forced into a role that is too big for him.

It's uncomfortable for them both.

When Dave goes to school he is forced to watch his friends deal with runaway hate they had no part in building. He sits impotent and angry by his fire escape. Only cheered when the fever of the crowd seems to be lessening. 

In terms of his human friends, Dave only made the mistake of trying to talk to John again _once_. It had looked like maybe John wanted to ask him something, so he approached. Only Jade was there suddenly snarling at him.

“I’ll leave I promise!” Dave had said, a shadowy Jade with long fangs entering his mind, “Don’t be mad.” He had backed away, a weird mix of pride and discomposure.

The only victory that occurred during the week is that John’s face is no longer terrified, just scrunched up and confused.

Jade continues her glaring from afar. Dave learns she is also in the new troll biology class which he transferred into. The whole class seems ridiculous to have when the trolls are not allowed in the building, and they resent his presence for that little fact. In the class, a lot students glare at Dave, not just Jade, though, pathetically, it is the safest he has felt since waking up in his new life.

* * *

In the hallways, Dave tries to escape the notice of Thing 1 and Thing 2 and for the most part he succeeds. Having a different schedule helps and if Bro did anything good at all it was to drill into him the _compulsive_ _borderline need_ to stay hidden. 

He only talks to them _once_. During their interaction he learns that their names are Rudy and Feldspar. _Probably last names_ , he thinks, or rather he _hopes_ because _who the hell names their kids that on purpose?_

“Where are you?” They ask, wary.

He assures them he is at the protests- was there the whole time. This is, of course, a bold faced lie. He remains at his fire escape. He considers going downstairs into the fray briefly, if only so he can find out more about HAT- but he can’t make himself do it. _I don’t even think I can pretend…_ The very thought made him ill. 

_It’s better to not think about it._

But of course he thinks about it nonstop. 

* * *

Over the weekend, He goes with Dirk to the last court mandated therapy session the other Dave should have been present for. He doesn’t know what to say. He just tells Miss Mendicant that he is sorry.

“Me too, Dave.” She responds and he is left feeling wrong about that all day.

On Monday the pattern is broken if only because he is not alone at the fire escape anymore.

“Rose? You’re back.” Dave says dumbly.

“Yes, it seems I could not stay away.”

* * *

It had gone like this:

Rose left school the day she talked to Dave and went straight home. She tells John and Jade she isn’t feeling well.

“Do you need soup?” John asks but Rose shakes her head.

Seeing Dave was just… _strange._ She doesn’t have a word for it. Neither does John, not that she can really ask him in depth. When she tries to question his opinion on the ‘new Dave’ John just gets a far away look on his face. Jade is no help, she is so mad at Dave for all the pain he has caused John that she does not want to accept that anything could redeem him.

 _That’s fair,_ Rose supposes. She doesn’t want to accept it _either._

_But the fact remains that he is odd. And that everything about him is different somehow. The ways he moves is different, the way he talks. The way he tries to approach us and is chased off..._ _Jade had never scared him before_ …. Yet, he had run off... _So, why…?_

It was disgustingly frustrating. _How is one to complete a puzzle they do not have all the pieces to?_ This was worse than trying to fit two wrong pieces together- she was actively _missing_ them.

 _Body snatched_ is all she can think of. _Black magic maybe._

_\-- They are stubborn throes._

She frowns.

“Hi mom, I’m home!" she calls to an empty house. Looks like her sister and mom are away. _How sad,_ she sighs as she moves to put out some cat treats. 

After a moment of decompressing her thoughts, Rose goes to her computer and starts to research. She finds at least _some_ of the names of the troll students. It turns out Dave is at least acquainted with one- the _blind_ one, Terezi. The court documents are sealed because of their ages but Rose knows how they know each other. _Everyone does._

She frowns not sure what to make of that particular coincidence. “So, it _was_ a threat, maybe?”

_But he had assured me it wasn't. Plus why threaten me at all?_

“Or could it be guilt?” A sudden change of heart wasn’t the _weirdest_ turn of events. Still, it didn’t feel right, Dave seemed too lost and sad, and well.. _Dumb._

“I shouldn’t rule out a concussion.” Rose decides, forehead wrinkled.

That night she dreams of chess. 

* * *

Throughout the week she thinks deeply about that troll girl Dave talked about. In the mornings she even catches glimpses of her, but she is a beautiful stranger and nothing more.

An _alien_ stranger that bleeds _green._

 _Green, there is something about that_. Rose hums. _Why would Dave point out this troll and not the blind one? What point is he trying to make?_

There was a _missing piece_ , and so Rose _burned._ Yet, the more deeply Rose thought about the Virgo troll, the more her mind twisted and _rebelled._ It wasn’t _hate_ exactly, as Dave had said, but it was a kind of _aversion._ Which also _didn’t make sense._ _Is it reverse psychology? Did Dave get into my head?_ _Is this a sickness?_

But no, Rose, for all her faults, liked to think she knew herself quiet well. So the fact that she was having such _difficulty_ controlling her thoughts, as it were, just added to her list that _something was not right with the world._

So, in the midst of her city struggling to make sense of change, Rose, with the same purpose, moved through the crowd towards the fire escape.

“Yes, it seems I could not stay away.” she says.

* * *

“H-hi.” Dave blinks trying and failing to see anything different about Rose- A glimmer of _something_ that indicated that she too did not belong. 

“There is something _wrong_ with you.” She says bluntly and without preamble.

 _Ah so that was it._

“I know but... _hey_.” Dave doesn’t really protest, frown turning thoughtful. This Rose clearly wanted to dissect him, make sense of something she only thought she knew. _It’s nice that even if Rose doesn't have light and rain in her that she still absolutely cares about the truth..._ _Even, potentially, to the point of madness._ He blinks away images of a too white orb, eyes resolutely turned away from the stairs.

Swallowing, Dave makes room for Rose and leans against the railing so he can, once again, fester under his absolute failure to help any of his friends. _I blew up a sun once,_ Dave wants to say, _I blew up a sun but I'm powerless here with this._

He looks helplessly at Rose remembering belatedly that _he hadn’t been alone with the sun._ She looks back, her expression both foreign and familiar. 

She wasn’t _his_ Rose, but he still _craved_ interactions with her. He craved interactions with everyone, but Rose was the only one with the intuition to know something wasn’t right _and_ ask questions about it. 

He guessed maybe it helped to have foreign entities in your head _before-_

 _Could I be like that if I didn't know what was going on? Would I second guess myself enough to ask questions?_ Dave didn’t know, but the fact that any version of Rose was there at all made him feel terribly fond. _Is it possible to be homesick for a person? Is it possible to be homesick for a person right next to you?_

“Is there something wrong with you too?” He eventually says before he can stop himself. 

“I suppose. In a way.” Rose tilts her head, before pushing forward, voice carefully clipped, “You are here bright and early.” There is an inflection at the end like a question and a statement all at once. 

“Can’t miss the show.” Dave responds before biting his tongue. _Shit that sounds like I'm enjoying this._ Too late to take it back.

Rose flutters her eyelashes. The cacophony of the crowd rising in the distance. She pretends she is interested in it while side-eyeing Dave. “You know the army was called.” She says after a time. That makes Dave tear his eyes away from Karkat and Terezi who once more were forced back into their bus.

“W-what?”

“It was a federal order that the troll attend this establishment, but it’s not being complied with. So, the army was called to escort them inside. I imagine they will be arriving within the next few days.”

“That’s… wonderful.” Dave sighs raggedly, deflating. Because it really _really_ is _wonderful._ Someone bigger and stronger actually _helping_ instead of trying to take something precious away. 

Rose’s expression turns critical as if accepting something.

 _Was this a test?_ Dave wonders belatedly. _What was the litmus on a broken timeline? Tears?_ He had probably cried more in the last week then the whole apocalypse and his shitty childhood put together, _I should pass for that alone._

“You really want them here?” It’s said like a question and a statement again.

Dave tries to take it seriously. “Yes. No. I don’t know. They are my friends. I miss them, I want them near me, but I don’t know if they are safe here.”

She seems to be waiting for Dave to speak more, but when he cannot for whatever reason she begins slowly eyes narrowed, “You were strange last time we talked.”

“Sorry.”

“You said some _intense_ things... About trolls and you called me a _Seer of Light_. What _is_ that?”

“I don’t know if I could explain it all well. It’s an awfully long story. I probably need at least five prologues and a soundtrack.” 

“And just now you called the trolls your friends. How could you possibly know them?”

“I umm…”

“I _know_ you blinded one of them.”

“I- did, but umm-” Dave tries before Rose cuts him off, “-You blinded someone, but you suddenly act like they are your _friends_. You ignore the kids at school and instead pine after John, Jade, and I-”

“I wouldn’t say _pine_ -” Dave tries to cut in by Rose quiets him with a glare, “I don’t know what is going on, but I think if you have a story maybe you should tell it.”

Dave blinks once. Then twice. A small and careful smile turning the corners of his mouth up. “Really? You’ll listen to me?”

“I’m not sure yet, it depends what you say. But you do need to start talking.”

“It really is long. I wasn’t joking about that.” Dave whispers, hands shaking as nerves set in. 

“Then I’ll come back tomorrow. But you have to start.”

“Well-” He looks up to the sky, voice taking on an unknowable quality, “Once upon a time there were four children and those four children played a game.”

* * *

Dave does not get far in his explanation, but he does try his best. 

When he mentions carapaces she looks a little jolted, but beyond that Rose betrays _nothing._

When the bell rings, Dave bites down on his tongue. So much happened in the game that it was _absolute stupidity_ to try to explain. He only managed to get off a few rambling monologues about cats, stock markets, and Batter Witches.

Rose blinks at him. With a shamefaced pang he realizes this was probably the most he had spoken out loud since he had arrived in this new world. 

He stands there looking at Rose, both embarrassed and hopeful. She just returns his gaze but is seemingly unmoved, “Interesting. And you say there is _more._ You barely spoke of the trolls.”

“It’s very… complicated.” Dave tries, mouth dry, "They didn't actually show up until much later."

“It certainly seems so.” Rose allowed, “It seems _unbelievable_. I _must_ hear more tomorrow.” The words catch Dave off guard. He had been so primed for rejection that it did not seem plausible that anyone would wish to hear more about who _he_ really was.

 _\--They_ really were. 

“But the army is supposed to-”

“They won’t be here for a few more days. And even then…. I may consider meeting you. If not for any other reason than to study your new delusions.” 

Dave nods gratefully, eyes closed in terrible relief.

* * *

Rose, true to her word, does come to the fire escape every morning to let Dave spin his paradoxical tale above the violence of people they supposedly loved in another life. 

It seems _crazy._

But Rose, sharply aware of where her parameters of belief and disbelief are, is a bit taken aback. Not because of anything fanciful Dave said (and it _was_ fanciful), but of what she could _not_ allow him to say.

It had gone like this:

On the second day of their little engagement Rose felt confident enough to ask about the trolls that Dave mentioned the most, namely Terezi, Kanaya, and Karkat.

“Tezezi was one of my best friends and I’m in love with Karkat.”

It was said like an immutable fact. Grass is green, the sky is blue, the son of a xenophobic terrorist loves a male troll. Rose blinks, nodding as the new perspective slotted into place. “What about Kanaya? 

Dave does not speak right away. “Well uhh….” He says after a while, “You are in love with her. I mean you are in love with each other really. That's kind of how love works, really. Two to tango and all that.”

Insidiously, the first thing Rose feels at this revelation is one of acute and intense _rage_. How _dare_ Dave dictate who she is or isn't in love with. How _dare_ he say it’s this one troll who so catches Rose’s eye.

Her reaction is _so_ visceral that it startles her.

_Because..._

Her mind is blank. She cannot think of the reason _why_ she should feel such agonizing turmoil. 

“This isn't right.” She says, pupils wide. It was like her dream. And like so many other little things she has noticed over the course of the last few weeks. All these emotions and not one of them feeling like they _actually_ belonged to her.

She doesn’t know how to articulate this. Doesn’t know if she can, but Dave- _the_ Dave- who is next to her, is startled too thinking she is denying him.

“I mean it’s love Rose, nothing is _really_ wrong with it.” He tries, misunderstanding everything. 

“No-What? No, I mean…. I think I believe you.” Rose says absolutely mystified.

“What.” Dave says back mirroring her tone.

“I mean…. I think I need more time to _think_ … and I want to hear more… but for now I can believe you aren’t who you were. And, I think, I understand that you believe me to be like someone you used to know… These _other_ children? The ones who played the game together.”

Dave’s mouth just hangs open.

“I may sound strange, but I believe I have all these kind of sickly, green feelings inside me. But I don’t know where they come from.” Rose tries to explain, annoyed that she lacked the proper vocabulary. _Ugh, it is like the linguistic equivalent to wading through molasses._

“How can feelings be green?” Dave says dumbly, still in a state of bewilderment.

“I’m not sure.” Rose turns, “But I think if I keep talking to you perhaps I will find out.” She gazes out into the middle distance, head suddenly pounding. The protests were as bad as ever, but the fever of them was more subdued now that there was an expiration date on the horizon.

The silence stretches.

“We saw some pretty terrible stuff, right? In this world you keep imagining.” Rose says. A question and a statement.

“Yeah. We did.”

She hums lost in thought.

When she aces a test on genetics she never studied for and dreams of mausoleums housing a terrible green light she doesn’t tell Dave.

* * *

On the third day of Dave and Rose’s meetings. Dave climbs the stairs and is immediately greeted by Rose wearing full goth makeup. Complete with black nail polish. He doesn't bat an eye. “What’s the special occasion?” he asks.

“Oh, can’t you see?” 

And indeed, Dave suddenly becomes aware as Rose says: “The army is here. They are forcing the crowd to let the trolls in.”

Dave leans his whole body over the rail in wonderment and it’s _t r u e._ Official, sharp looking men and women in official, sharp looking uniforms are on the scene pressing against the protesters, finally allowing the twelve trolls to make a path to the front door.

Dave’s first thought is: _Holy shit Terezi looks hard core._ Her face is all screwed up like she is about to take on the world. 

Dave’s second thought is: _All of this for a shitty public school education_. But then again Dave had been home schooled by Bro, if given the choice he probably would have fought angry crowds for a chance at something else too.

His heart is beating painfully against his chest as he looks helplessly at Rose. “What’s your plan?” Is all she says.

“I-I don’t know. Talk to them!”

Rose raises an eyebrow.

“I really don’t know anything about this racist shit. I’m just sad and want my friends. Maybe it’s selfish.” Dave says, words bubbling up like water from a spring.

“First of all, it's xenophobia. Second, I don’t think it’s selfish exactly, but you do have to be reasonable. You can’t expect these trolls to be sympathetic to your story. If I remember correctly it is rather ludicrous and you even severely crippled the leader.”

“I mean- _I_ didn’t exactly… but yeah… no, I know.”

Dave waves his hand in a circular motion as if to encompass Rose, “I think…. Sometimes you agree with what I’m saying though… and I have to start somewhere.”

Rose gives him a skeptical look.

“Well, you at least agree something is going on! On a subconscious level or some shit. Maybe I cause all your weird headaches and g _reen-eggs-and-hat_ e just by talking to you! Ever think of that?”

“Well, to be fair, I am sure that any reality in which someone has to chat with you as endlessly as I have, would inevitably develop a case of the ‘hate’ very quickly, green or otherwise.”

“Ha. Ha. You’re funny Lalonde. They should give you your own comedy tour.” 

“I’m funny?" Rose exclaims indignantly, "Dave, your plan is to chat up your friends, who are actually _complete strangers_ , about the good ole’ days and hope no one punches you in the jaw.”

“Well, I’m screwed when you say it like that...”

Dave rubs his hand down his face, “I’m serious though, do you have any better ideas? Just talking is all I really got to go on…. I guess I was just hoping for something….Ever since I woke up here… well-” he cuts himself off.

“If it makes you feel better, I never once designed that you could convince me of anything. Yet here I am, freely admitting you have been easier to be around as of late.”

“Well, that’s high praise.” 

“It is.” Rose says seriously, “You were…. Not a nice person before.”

“You don’t say.” Dave exhales.

“Try with your troll friends…. If it doesn’t work…. I’ll talk to Jade and John.”

“You mean it?”

“Don’t hold your breath… I doubt they would understand my reasons…. But yes, I mean it. Regardless I think I should still wish you good luck.”

Dave blinks at her, something complicated playing across his inscrutable face, “Thanks. I’ll need it.”

* * *

Dave goes to his classes that day, but within the first five minutes of the bell he knew he was screwed. 

The trolls were _here_ and he could actually _see_ them! But they absolutely did not want to see him. Which _hurt_ , despite how much it made sense.

His metalwork class had a troll he mostly only recognized from his Terezi’s description of a _big-sweaty-horse-blueberry-man_ , which really could have only fit like five of six other people in Dave’s life, tops. 

Sollux was in Dave’s math but he seemed to know exactly who Dave was supposed to be in this timeline and sat as far away as possible.

The male sea troll, _Gamzee,_ and of course Jade are in interspecies biology. _Which is a terrible combo..._

The only truly helpful class is troll history. Which has everyone except for Vriska, Jade, Rose, Terezi, and Aradia. Though, Aradia is the one troll Dave most wants to talk to the most (outside of Karkat). _Time shenanigans and all of that._

 _Karkat… though,_ Dave sighs.

He is _screwed_ because they were _so close_ \- _Karkat_ was right next to him! And yet… How could he speak to him? To any of them? _I feel like I have leprosy or something…_ _Time leprosy. It’s a thing, look it up._ God, he wishes he could look it up. He had made fun of Rose for making a How To Guide but he desperately wanted one now.

Regardless, troll history quickly turns from Dave’s least favourite to his most favourite class because _Karkat is right here!!_

Earlier, when he first transferred classes, he showed up at what was supposed to be an interspecies seminar filled with people who actually believed in togetherness and overturning barriers- So, of course no one trusted Dave. During the first few terrible days of the class, when half the room was painfully empty, the teacher hadn’t even called Dave’s name out loud. Instead just staring at him like the world had just played a particularly cruel cosmic joke. _It had,_ but that's besides the point. 

_It’s not me._ Dave had tried to remind himself. _It’s not. It’s not. It’s not._ But his well of self-hatred ran deep, and It was still hard to swallow all those dirty looks, even with all the practice he's been getting. In a way, it reminded him a lot of being a child. A voice hissing, _It is you. you wretched dirty, thing._

So, Dave hates the class, but t _hen_ , on the first day of _actual_ troll attendance. Dave catches a lucky break.

Karkat comes in _late._

He bursts through the closed door panting, a little roughed up, and looking mad as hell.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” He garbles out with his scratchy voice that Dave hasn’t heard in over a month.

“It’s quite all right. But please take a seat quickly. We are in the middle of discussing the controversy surrounding the human possession of the Mothergrub.” The teacher says. He’s a nice man with another face that is both familiar and foreign, and maybe he is a little overly excited that he can finally start his lessons in earnest. 

His name is Mr. King and he supports integration pretty wholeheartedly, so Dave considers him _okay_ even if he looks at Dave like he is trash. _I am kinda trash._ Dave reminds himself suddenly overwhelmed that Karkat was _h e r e_ and Dave had no way to convey how wonderful that is to him.

Time surges forward suddenly, Karkat looking around wildly now. Class was in session and it looked like all the easy to access seats that didn’t require making a fuck ton of noise to get to were taken. Except the ones next to Dave. _Cause’ who in their right mind would sit next to the guy who hates trolls in a troll themed class right? Shit seems counterproductive._

Karkat, clearly flustered and in a hurry, pulls up a seat right next to Dave and sits down.

Just like that.

He doesn’t glance over.

“Sup.” Dave says, mouth moving automatically. His teeth click with the force he uses to bite down on any more unbidden words forming.

“Shut up I’m trying to-“ Karkat’s angry hiss dies in his mouth when he sees that it’s _Dave_ he’s talking to. 

For a second he searches Dave's face, and Dave feels his heart skip a beat, only for that to die when Karkat’s thoughtful look morphs into a belated fear. Almost like he suddenly remembered he was _supposed_ to be afraid.

“Shit- I um, f-forget I said anything.” Karkat leans away from Dave as far as he can without looking too suspicious.

Dave’s guts _twist._

He had thought meeting John was terrible but this was so much worse. He _loves_ Karkat. _Learned_ what it was like to be loved _with_ Karkat and now…. _It is worse than starting from scratch..._

 _Maybe I could win him over with shitty romance novels?_ _All Karkat’s probably love shitty romance novels, probably. Some things carry over, right?_ Dave thinks nonsensically, doing everything in his power to keep from hyperventilating. 

Karkat doesn’t talk for the rest of the class, Dave’s heart is racing and his ears pounding so hard he doesn’t know what he would add to a conversation even if that wan’t the case.

The one twist of fate that actually works in Dave’s favour is that Mr. King is apparently a huge stickler for assigned seating. So, that means that Karkat has to sit next to Dave _every single day._

Which is _awesome_ , except for the fact that Mr. King shoots Karkat sympathetic expressions when he thinks Dave isn’t looking. He _is_ looking and every time he sees it he has to choke down another fresh wave of shame.

 _It’s weird though..._ Dave observes. _This Karkat is weird._ He comes into each class a little late each day looking _haggard_. He stares at Dave with a mixture of contempt and melancholy then proceeds to ignore basically everything by burying his face in the textbook.

 _How can I get close to you?_ Dave thinks desperately, stealing a glance over, _How can I prove myself to you?_ In the moment, he has to fight all his instincts to ask if Karkat has been sleeping. His eyes are particularly bruised.

_I miss you._

At this moment, even though it is a relief that everyone was _finally_ more or less together, it all still felt so terribly unreachable. 

_What am I doing?_ Dave blinks, then without amusement, Dave wonders if anyone else has ever had problems making friends with people they are already friends with. 

_Troll Jesus Christ,_ he swears softly to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually suddenly so curious... if anyone out there has any weird memories of their school?
> 
> Anyway, thanks everyone who has shown support! (Someone even took the time to send in a bunch of edits! Super kind!) It all fills me with determination :-D It's slow goings sometimes but we'll all get to where we are going eventually. Such is life.
> 
> Have a good night out there.


	9. Universally Speaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets a lab partner and Dave (maybe) gets a chance to help.

_I saw your face_   
_Elegant and tired_   
_Cut up from the chase_   
_Still I so admired_   
_Bloodshot your smile_   
_Delicate and wild_   
_Give me shewolf style_   
_Rip right thru me_

* * *

“I had a really weird dream last night,” John tells Jade on their walk to school. Part of him doesn’t _want_ to explain... but it wasn’t a _bad_ dream necessarily, and he always tells Jade about his weird stray thoughts; so, reluctantly he forces himself.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, it involved a bunch of lizards in an oil spill! Isn’t that weird?”

“Super weird!” Jade agrees distractedly, her jovial spirit dimming when they near their destination. Prospit stood up on a small incline, looking more intimidating than ever due to the crowds of angry people being kept at bay by large men and women with riot shields.

Bile claws up John's throat as he shrinks away. “L-look,” he offers, trying to be cheerful, “The army is here now. Everyone can get together now. Understand each other more...”

“I don’t know if it’s that simple.” Jade frowns looking lost.

John is hesitant to leave her side when they enter the building, but he has no choice when the bell rings. Luckily, his first class is biology which is his favourite. _Hmm… wait, has it always been my favourite?_ John blinks but doesn’t question it, his mind trying instead to sort through the vocabulary he was supposed to learned the day before. _Mitochondria, ribosomes, Golgi complexes, apoptosis, neoplasm, carcinoma…cancer._

_Hm? Is that right?_

In the science wing, John’s stomach clenches with instinctual anxiety. Biology is one of his _only_ classes without Jade or Rose, AKA when he was most vulnerable, it was just awful. _So... why is it my favourite?_ But again, he can’t really find it in himself to question it, instead rationalizing that _being alone… isn’t so bad these days_ .. In the last week or so, Mr. Strid- _Dave_ had been a lot more bearable to be around. Their interactions had been minimal and distant but there was something remarkably softer about his presence. 

_Instead of a wolf,_ John tries to string his feelings together, _he resembles something scared and caged._ Not for the first time, John feels a pang of sympathy shoot through him; though, he tries to chase it away. Dave isn’t a _regular_ bully after all, everyone knew about the _acid._

John gets to his destination. The classroom is very dark, the wallpaper a midnight blue. The table tops all have a hard black fireproof coating, and there are cat and coral reef skeletons on the shelves. For some reason they catch John’s eyes more than usual. 

Shaking his head, John takes his regular seat away from the other students. Dave _(used to?)_ physically hurt him, but his attention also guaranteed that other student’s just kinda stayed away, not wanting to appear on Dave's radar. As a result, John had lived in a virtual isolation outside of Rose and Jade. _Dave hasn't touched me in over a week, but there still seems to be an effect..._ Looking at the empty areas around him, John sighs _, that certainly hasn’t gone away_. John just wishes there weren't so _many_ dang projects in biology that needed a partner.

_I also kinda just want to gossip... like, Dave changed his timetable? Why? That's such juicy gossip! Is he being punished? What did he dooooo?_ though, of course, no one wants to speak to John. John resigns himself to uncomfortable silence when suddenly the bell rings and there are a bunch of new students in class, grey skin and prominent horns making them stick out like Halloween decorations in July. 

John experiences exactly one second of elation, he is _always_ happy to meet new people, and today is no different. Though that joy quickly bubbles into secondhand embarrassment when he remembers what they had to go through just to be able to attend class with him. Beyond even that though, there was _something_ in John’s brain hissing at him not to look too closely at the new students, that there was only _pain_ there. 

John couldn’t look away though, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been near trolls before. Outside of school there was certainly little interaction between humanity and troll kind but there wasn’t _none-_ but _still_ there was something fascinating about these students that John could not put his finger on.

There are two girls and a boy. The boy has humongous bull horns and wore an embroidered circle-y symbol with horns on his school blazer. It looked like it matched his own jumbo horns. 

Jumbo-horns sat next to the shorter of the girls. She wore a red dress underneath her uniform which puffed out from under her sleeves and skirt. Her horns curled up over themselves like a ram, but perhaps most curiously, her expression betrayed none of the anxiety present on the others. It remained a gentle and placid smile.

_I don’t think I have ever thought about horns before_ , John’s focus slips as he gets lost in thought, _did they get caught on stuff? Jumbo-horn’s definitely do._

The remaining girl sat by herself at the back of the room. She has her hair done up neatly in a high braid. She also has a funky symbol too, emblazoned in a small crest. John didn't know why his eyes were drawn to it but it looked like an ‘m’ with an extra spike. She also wore glasses that accentuated her yellow sclera and bizarre eight pupil eye mutation.

The hissing in John’s brain got louder, but he still couldn’t turn away, _wow, that eye is so_ _cool._

Eight-pupil girl catches John staring and shoots him a dirty look.

Actually embarrassed now, John feels his face flush guiltily. _It probably isn’t easy having everyone notice your eyes like that. People always did that with my buck teeth. Not fun…_

Class starts, but John can’t absorb any of the lecture. Instead, looking back over at the lone troll girl. They get lots of breaks in this class and they have to get up a lot to do the aforementioned group studies, but it is still immediately obvious to John that the other two trolls are already partners and no one else wants to be with Eight-Pupil. 

The loneliness resonates within him and, for a second, John spaces out- a conversation playing out in his head: 

> _“-But ok, I’m sorry you saw my bucket. I will just chuck it out the window I guess…._ ****
> 
> _“Thank you, John. That is very gentlemanly of you._ _Now will you quit sitting around and get on with it!!!!!!!! God.”_
> 
> _“Well I was GOING to but you started babbling at me!_ _Jeez, spinneret.”_
> 
> _“That isn't my real name, you dope!”_
> 
> _“ Ok, then what is it!”_ ****
> 
> _“ I ain't telling you that!_ _It's a sekret!”_

It’s warm somehow, and nostalgic, like a sweater in winter, or seeing an old friend thought lost; however, when John opens his eyes, he has a splitting headache, and he no longer wants to care about that lone girl.

BUT that _can’t be right_ because it _sucks being lonely_ and he KNOWS that. _What's wrong with me? Jeeze._ He hates that any callous thought would try to settle itself over him. As an experiment, John tries to envision how Dave might see trolls, all grey, orange, and full of teeth. Preachers on television compare them to animals sometimes, predators or something. Though of course, humans are hardly the bottom of the food chain either. _We have just as strong of an ability to divide in the name of some unseen order- Fangs of a different sort._

Still, he doesn’t get _it_ , _not really_. And even though there is hissing and a headache behind his eyes, all he can think is: _Dave hates them for some reason like how he hates me. We have something in common._

John makes up his mind. 

Like clockwork, the teacher hands the class another warm-up worksheet saying to 'please fill this out with a partner.' John immediately gets up, and sits down next to Eight-pupil with a soft thud. She jumps a bit, but then repositions herself nonchalantly, as if John’s presence is inconsequential to her.

It’s _not_ though, he knows it’s not. It means _something_ \- Maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but it absolutely _matters_ to her because she is peeking over at John from beneath her eyelashes, clearly confused.

“Hi” John offers. She doesn’t answer.

“My name is John Egbert. What’s yours?” He is sweating and nervous but continues on anyway. _Jade would probably be proud of me_ , he decides.

“Look human, you don’t have to sit with the poor helpless troll girl if you don’t want to! Just tell your friends or whoever dared you to come over to piss right the hell off!”

_Wow, that escalated quickly._ John’s heart skips a beat, suddenly wondering if she could sense his blossoming fear like a spider closing in around its struggling prey. _Probably,_ John blinks, managing to grind out, _“_ N _-_ no one dared me to sit with you! I just _want_ to sit with you. I-is that so hard to believe?”

She actually snaps her pencil in half, “Yes,” She says succinctly, her sanguine tone harsh and mocking.

“Oh,” A beat passes between the two of them, “I’m sorry about that.” Because he wouldn’t believe someone wanting to sit with him either. _I'm so bad at this!_ _Maybe Jade won't be proud after all._

The troll girl gives John a hard look then promptly goes back to ignoring him, her work sheet already done almost complete. 

_Maybe this isn’t a good idea…_ John is just beginning to reconsider his terrible decision making skills when the teacher announces that the warm-up sheets were in fact a prelude to a poster project that they had to do- _with their partners_ \- on the arthropod of their choice. _Oh no!_

John hadn’t realized that is what they were doing, _that’s what I get for not paying attention!_ Now he had to do a whole project with a troll girl who probably hates his guts.

The class broke out into their partnered discussions, whispering about what they thought the easiest choice would be. 

“I-um.” John fumbles.

“You don’t _actually_ have to do the assignment with me you know.” The girl says sharply, “You can't hurt my feelings and it’s not like I’ll care.”

“Uhh… But I do want to? Maybe?”

She flicked her hair braid over her shoulder. _Oh, boy I really am not saying any of the right things. So much for my way with the ladies._

“Why.” She demands. And _oh_ , she definitely has fangs, _are they venomous?_

“Why, _what_?”

“Why, do you want to talk to me? Why are you acting all buddy buddy? It’s creepy and I hate it.”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“And stop saying you’re sorry!”

“Sorry. I uh, I mean, sorry for saying sorry! Ugg- _I mean_ \- Look, ….I don’t usually get a partner for these things and I know it can be kinda lonely so I just thought…” John finds it hard to continue, “I- just thought that _I_ hate being lonely, maybe _you_ would too?”

“Humans are not supposed to be like this.” She says finally, her freaky cool eyes narrowing.

“Like what?”

“Nice. Pitiable,” She waves her hand around like she just said a bad word and she wants to clear the air, “why did you really sit down, John?”

“I-I don’t…”

“There has to be another reason. There is always a _secret_ reason.”

“I just- I don’t know! You were alone and I was alone… and It sucks being alone, y’know.” John absolutely _hate, hate, hates_ his language skills right now, “and- well It’s sort of hard to explain but I got this really weird feeling when I saw you! Like we’ve met before.”

“At the rally outside no doubt.” She hisses, and once again the fangs are visibly long and wicked. John shudders.

“N-n-No- I don’t support that.”

She gives John another look, and he knows that he should _maybe_ be afraid, but- and _it’s weird_ \- but somehow John no longer felt threatened. That familiar feeling was back- Warm, like the heat of spiraling green flames over a city of oil.

> _“ Oh John, this should be so obvious to you by now. You are going to become a great hero, that much is sure. But I want to be the one responsible for it! And now I am pretty much guaranteed to be.”_

John blinks, _oh god this is so weird, I cannot believe I am going to say this but..._

“No! More like I met you in a past life somewhere.”

“A past life.” She says skeptically.

“Yup.” John has no other explanation, he knows Rose has been researching that kind of thing lately, but it is not as if he can explain that to Eight-pupil, “I-I just feel like we’ve been friends before.”

She sighs, but it is one of resignation. John allows himself a brief moment of pride. _Wearing down people with perpetual kindness is totally a special skill I possess!_

“Pffft. Past lives are lame. What do you even think we were? You couldn’t have been a human if I was a troll.”

“Why not?”

She stares daggers again but John doesn’t flinch this time.

“Just because! Now tell me what you think you were in a past life. You have five seconds to convince me. Go!”

“I uh- I dunno. I’ve never really thought about it. Maybe a scientist or something. Biologist...”

“What! And I was your sexy assistant? Dream on! You were probably just a dirty hippie who floated around anywhere the wind would take you.” She’s trying to scare him off still, and part of John wants to _let her,_ but instead he goes with where she wants to take him, turning it into a game.

“Hahah maybe! Or- or, maybe I was a rich heir to a family fortune. You could have been a co-heir or something!”

“Pffft, probably to the shittiest company every! What do you think could have possibly happened to us? You probably got fat off the wealth and died! Diabetes was just too much for you! No wait! I have a better idea! You were most definitely a gnat! Get it? Because you are so annoying!”

“Oh that couldn’t have been good! Gnats are awfully small.”

“Precisely! I was probably a frog that ate you, and that’s what you’re feeling right now. This fake friendship feeling is just you in my other-life's guts!” She shows John her long fangs again, though now it is more of a self satisfied smile instead of a defensive snarl. _A step in the right direction!_

“Hehehe well that can’t be it! Frogs don’t make friends with gnats.”

“Humans don’t make friends with trolls!” 

John shakes his head, “Oh! Maybe we were prisoners or something and we became blood brothers after some high stakes prison escape action.”

“Past life me, probably got you thrown in prison in the first place.”

“Well, y’know what they say about _best friends_ \- A good friend bails you out, a best friend is right there with you.” John snorts at his own humour, only superficially trying to stifle his ugly giggles. 

She seems taken aback, a moment later she says in a small voice, “I-I probably wasn’t a prison guard or a fellow prisoner or anything… I was probably something lame, like a librarian.”

“Librarians aren’t lame!”

She looks at John like he is dumb. His face grows hot again, “W-well, I mean, they aren’t. You just definitely weren’t a simple librarian!”

“Well then, what was I, Oh-knowledgeable-One? You seem to know everything about these past lives.”

_Oh shoot did trolls not believe in afterlife and reincarnation and that kind of stuff?_ _Did I just violate a huge cultural taboo?_ Growing more serious John stills, and says with words completely unbidden:

-“I think you were a pirate.”

She cocks her head at that, but she actually does smile, a genuine one this time- all satisfied hunter pride. It’s beautiful. John thinks, maybe, _just maybe,_ he made a friend.

“My name is Vriska Serket, and I actually think I would enjoy being your partner.”

* * *

Making friends is _impossible,_ Dave wants to sob.

“So, uh…. Troll Will Smith huh? What a guy.”

Karkat practically jumps out of his skin then blanches, “I-uh…what? Yeah…” He says, “Whatever you say.” 

Dave’s heart clenches more painfully then stuck gears. _Gog, I make everyone so... uncomfortable_. He’s a monster, wearing someone else’s body. At home Dirk avoids him, and now he feels like absolute filth at school. 

_Maybe it would be better if I just-_ but _no,_ Rose is willing to give him half a chance, and Karkat wasn’t _exactly_ afraid of Dave in the way some of the other trolls are so that had to give him hope. 

_Some kind of hope anyway..._

Dave had tried to approach Sollux after math class _once._ Thinking that if he could convince a friend of Karkat’s that he was cool, perhaps things would start to progress better. Predictably, it was a disaster. The Gemini troll was so startled he actually let off some psionic blasts that spilled out over his glasses. The errant sparks cut Dave’s cheek slightly. It wasn’t bad and didn’t even bleed that much, but Sollux curled his arms around himself, shaking like a leaf.

“I’m ssssory.” He had barely slurred out.

Dave, knowing the guy could literally power _asteroids_ to shoot through space, felt terribly lucky about the whole thing, “Hey, man… it’s-” ' _okay'_ is what Dave wants say, taking a step forward, but the motion was too much for Sollux.

“AAHH! Please don’t kill me.” Sollux flinches, badly mangling the word _please._

“No I-”

But, Sollux had pretty much run straight away after that. _And he’s supposed to be the Doomed one?_ Dave despairs _, forget Time. I know my new aspect._

Left alone, he had looked down at his hands. _I forget sometimes... this body isn't all mine..._

But anyway, Karkat THANKFULLY did not shake or cower like Sollux, which is such a relief in and of itself that Dave would have collapsed right there in class if it wouldn't have caused a huge scene.

Karkat is _cautious_ though, he never engages with Dave- instead it seemed like he was trying to puzzle something out. He also seemed vaguely depressed, like Dave’s presence bothered him somehow.

_Me too, buddy._ Dave wants to say but doesn’t. 

_Maybe I should save him for last?’_ Dave worries a fingernail, and _ah dang_ it’s bleeding again. _Is that an option though?_ He hates all versions of Gamzee, and he doesn’t _know_ the trolls that died early. Terezi was a non-starter and he really wants Rose to talk to Kanaya before he did... 

_Shit like this is exactly why I need someone else to remember!_ _Karkat would know exactly who to approach, he loved being all up in other people’s business_. Meanwhile, Dave grew up isolated, and fearful. Truthfully, he didn’t know if he could keep inflicting his presence on his friends like this. 

_What’s the morality of something like this?_ He wants to ask, but of course the person he wanted to converse with most would not listen to him. 

Sollux disappeared the next day, _sick_ apparently. Dave adds that to his list of things to feel guilty about.

_Aradia, he decides._ _I should talk to Aradia._

The task is made difficult when she too is nowhere to be seen. That wasn’t exactly unusual though, as Dave didn’t have a single class with her- but when he skipped to look for her, he found nothing. 

_I should have played detective with Terezi more._

When he continues his half hearted attempts at humour in his troll history class, Karkat is unresponsive at best. _#Alternate universe problems,_ Dave thinks consumed with loathing and regret.

* * *

Despite starting to feel like the villain he was occupying, Dave would get the chance to play hero the very next day. 

He's late as he walks through the doors into the school foyer, and there is no indication that anything is wrong _per se-_ but a shiver goes up Dave's spine. Hackles raised he forces himself tp stand shock still.  
  
He doesn't _know_ if it's because he has the remains of his Godtier powers still pumping through him, but all he can hear is grinding _squealing_ clock gears- and all he can smell is the sickening scent of _smoke_. It’s not the burning intensity of an inferno either, but rather the suffocating aroma of _cigarettes_.

Dave only blinks at it, trying to puzzle all the sensory information out, when he hears the a faint cry of pain. It’s enough to kick his brain into action. Without really processing _why,_ he runs towards it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone!~


	10. Knock Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi has a terrible day at school; however, she might have gotten a new friend out of the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably a little more intense than usual so extra warnings for some intense bullying and feelings of panic!

_Never too soon to be through_

_Being cool too much too soon_

_Too much for me too much for you_

_You're gonna loose in time_

* * *

Terezi got home from her first first real day of school emotionally and physically exhausted. _It’s so much worse than I remembered it being._ She sighs feeling bone weary.

 _Maybe one person looks a lot less like an invasion than twelve?_ _Maybe it’s to do with political pressure? Or recent arrests?..._ She tries to think of an explanation _,_ but there wasn’t a really good answer. Not _really._

She takes off her glasses and collapses into her desk chair, cradling her horned head with her arms. 

It isn’t _exactly_ that she is angry, because she _isn’t_. It was just that a world that felt it necessary to terrorize children did not feel _just_ at all. At yet, all these people were treating it _exactly_ like it was. It is so baffling. _It is illogical and, in a way, it’s a betrayal. Some deep cut from a friend that almost makes me want to grieve for a promised world not received_.

Uncurling herself slightly, she itches at her neck- something phantom clinging to it, tight and scratchy like _rope_. She shudders then lets her mind wander.

 _It was a big enough battle getting inside, but the outside had certainly already spread its poison..._ She frowns, _the influence of H.A.T chokes out the possibility of meeting friendly humans who would ordinarily be sympathetic to the cause. Ugh,_ _it's so frustrating to start so far back from even square one._

Terezi’s grimace turns into a silent snarl as she grinds her teeth. _They also separated us..._

Of course it made _sense_ , they hadn’t all wanted to take the same classes. _But still…._ It left Terezi feeling particularly vulnerable that they had to move around in smaller groups throughout the hallways. 

_Maybe it activates some long dormant Alternia instinct in me to hide from open areas least I be eaten by the beasts of lore?_ Terezi muses, but there is another image somewhere in her mind. Other people. Other hands and _voices_ reaching for her. Begging to not be separated.

She did not _dare_ examine it too closely.

“We’ll just have to be faster, and smarter.” She had told the eleven others, trying to impress upon them the importance of avoiding confrontation and maximizing safety. _Bad things happen at school all the time_ \- _bad people go here !_ She had wanted to scream, but instead made her point by staring at them with scarred, sightless eyes. 

A living warning. 

Her eyes were a big reason why she always pushed ahead in front of the crowd, because no matter how bad it got, Terezi was _already_ broken, she would take the abuse so that there would be no others.

“You don’t actually have to do that, y’know.” Karkat, of all people had said, his tone so strange and strangled.

“But it does have to be someone.” Terezi had retorted back. 

Still, Karkat had tried to put himself in front of others, Terezi could hear his growls of consternation next to her.

The thought, _who are you?_ surfacing again.

On the day that Karkat had taken a full can of soda to the horn, by stepping out in front of Kanaya, Terezi had actually sat with her on the return trip while a medic examined Karkat in the back. 

“What’s _wrong_ with him…?” Terezi had asked, voice low.

“I’m sure his horn will be fine.” Kanaya promised.

“No, no… you _know_ what I mean.”

“ _Oh_.” Then softly, “He’s just going through a lot right now, I suspect.” 

But Terezi shook her head at that, Kanaya was _nervous_. She could feel the worrying wobble in her voice. For a second, she could have swore she felt a jademint heartbeat. 

_Lying, lying, lying_ it said.

An odd thought occurred to her, _Is she protecting Karkat? But what from and why? Does she know why he suddenly changed?_ It was a bizarre kind of suspicion but it was born from a conspiracy that Terezi could only sense the edges of. _Has Kanaya changed too?_ Terezi couldn’t be sure, it felt like her thoughts were almost liquid- The synapses not wanting to connect.

 _If another person changed_ she decided, thoughts still not cooperating, _then I'll know there is a real mystery and it’s not just a LARP._ _Perhaps it will offer a nice distraction from the mess at Prospit even,_ she lets herself hope.

Digging for clues was next to impossible though. For one thing she was _busy_ trying to effect long lasting social change, _thank you very much_. For another, it was just _hard_ to ask about.

Talking to Karkat himself was like talking to an elder set on ‘better days,’ he would insist on trying to tell the tale of this other world where Terezi could see with her tongue and nose. The stories themselves were amusing, but sometimes he didn’t seem to understand the here and now- didn’t seem to be _able_ to talk about how scary this whole integration process was. 

_Ah...that’s one of the changes._ She notes blithely, something clicking into place. Terezi, for all her hope and faith, is still deeply afraid of humans. After all, she still had a ghastly image of David Strider’s smug face burned into her mind’s eye. The last thing she saw and would ever see again…

 _Old Karkat would understand_. _Understand the fragility of this process, and the need for caution. But now…_ Terezi had no words to describe it, _It’s like Karkat has never been afraid of humans at all - ever._

 _What can erase years of instincts? A lifetime of subtle indoctrination?_ There was no answer and so the rabbit hole deepened. 

New Karkat looked other trolls and humans in the eyes instead of shying away, he growled and was surly instead of polite and meek, but most staggering of all, he was unabashed about _showing_ how deeply he cared about everything. Terezi always suspected he was capable of acting this way, but had always been too timid to express it. Too wrapped up in ideas of keeping himself safe at any cost to actually be who he was meant to be… but then, as if by magic, _something_ changed. 

Fingering her necklace, Terzi’s mind wanders. _Once upon a time, in a land far far away in the troll home world another troll had strange visions of other places too…_

 _But no, that’s silly._ Terezi dismissed, _That couldn’t be it..._ But still, the ghost of a memory of a candy red colour wouldn’t leave her mind. 

* * *

The first week was almost over and, for the most part, Terezi would consider herself lucky. For one thing, most of the students just ignored her, there were certainly Jr. H.A.T members would bump into her and send her sprawling, but none of them were Dave and so she considered that a win. Additionally, If there were sneers or any pointed jeers she could not see them, which was a kind of blessing in itself she supposed.

Of all the classes Terezi had taken, her favourite was Law. The human laws were unjust, she knew, so it didn’t make sense, but it just was. It invigorated her to imagine slashing red ink across a page, rewriting a whole amendment to suit her wants. In contrast, her least favourite class was Physical Education. Technically, she was not in Physical Education as she had a doctor’s note and did not _actually_ have to go. What the school had designed to do instead was to send her to a Study Block. This was awful because no one else had a study block so she was well and truly alone.

There was no class room or place to duck into when she had this block, so she made an effort to stay in the library and actually study. Thankfully, they did have braille resources so she could get some work done at least, but it was still a huge pain to always have to force herself to look busy, lest she seem lazy or ungrateful for being allowed at such a _prestigious_ school.

Today, the Study Block was first, but Feferi had been struck by some debris in the nose and was bleeding fuchsia all over her uniform. Terezi volunteered to stay behind with her in the bathroom so she wouldn’t be alone and someone could help clean her up. 

The first bell rang, but the fish-like troll still still needed a few minutes to sort herself out. 

“Thanks!” Feferi had said, tone pleasant and bubbly but a little dampened. 

_Nervous._ Terezi could feel, but maybe that was her own projection. 

“You should just go.” Terezi told her, giving her a nudge.

“Whaaaa? But what about you?”

“I don’t have a class right now, I'll be fine.” Terezi said, trying to put conviction into it. The lobby was empty besides the sounds of coaches yelling their students to run faster in the nearby gym. There was a reasonable chance that she could make it to the library just fine. 

“Okay...but only if you are sure.” Feferi hesitated for a moment and then with what was probably a wave left Terezi alone.

This was, of course, a _mistake._

The foyer was near the front doors. The bathrooms and gym entrance were on one side and the hall leading to the cafeteria and the rest of the building were on the other, though on the far side. The foyer itself though was quite large, so by the time Terezi had oriented herself towards where she wanted to go, the door swung open.

She stilled, heart racing.

There was a group of people. Four humans, two males and two females. She thankfully did not recognize their voices; but they did take an unhealthy interest in her presence immediately. 

“Oh, it’s one of them.” A girl said, tone unpleasant, “What’s wrong with you? Are you lost?”

Terezi could not respond, fear sizing her. If she were smart she would run. 

_Guess I’m not smart_. She thought in terror as the group surrounded her.

“God, you’re so ugly.” One of the boys sneered, “She was talking to you, y’know? Or are you to dumb to respond.”

Terezi once again said nothing, a mantra _of don’t respond, don’t engage_ going through her head.

“Hey!” The boy said, tone escalating dangerously. “I’m talking to you!”

“It probably can’t speak.” The other girl whispers and then giggles.

“I don’t know why they make us pretend that these monsters are like us.”

For a moment Terezi becomes unstuck, rage burning intensely in the pit other stomach. She would cause a _riot_ if she acted aggressively, solving nothing, but oh how badly she wished herself to be callous enough not to care.

 _I can put up with names. It’s fine_ . Terezi willed. This was the path to justice she had taken, so it is the one she would stay on; however, she did not expect to be _grabbed_.

“H-hey!” Terezi sputters flinching away. She knows it’s the wrong move as soon as she does it, the humans around her seem to take on an almost shark-like aura sensing her weakness. Terezi imagines a smug grin as one of the girls, probably an athlete based on how strong her grip is, takes her forcefully by the wrist.

“Let go!” Terezi protests again but this time cannot shake her off. She tries to move forward but is blocked.

A wave of terror shoots through her.

 _Where are the teachers?_ Terezi whips her head around frantically, _there has to be some teachers around, this is a main area! There probably are teachers…_ She calls out even, but her heart breaks along with her stifled voice. No one responds. _They don’t care..._

The students around her are laughing at her distress. “Stop moving,” Athlete-girl says acidly. One of the boys shoves her roughly by the shoulders, causing her to take a sharp intake of breath.

“Let me go,” Terezi says, hating how pathetic she sounds to her own ears.

The humans ignore her, “Why are you even out here, Monster? First-boy chirps, “Shouldn’t you be in class?” 

“No.” Terezi states plainly, fear rising. The boy was close now, shoving his face in Terezi’s bubble. 

_Uhhggg. Why did there have to be boys?_ She thinks, nonsensically. When she imagines angry males they all look like Dave to her. 

“People will see.” She says in a tight whisper, “You could let me go and I won’t say anything,”

“You won’t say anything anyway, you have no idea who we are.” First-boy says as if it just dawned on him that he has a get-out-of-jail free card. 

Terezi can sense him opening his mouth to speak again, but whatever sick pathways of thought he is traveling down are interrupted by the Other-girl.

“You should be at the Gym!” she screeches with glee. 

“No. I shouldn’t.” Terezi tries.

“You should!” Other-girl insists, gleeful that she has apparently caught Terezi red handed. 

“But, you’re not even changed!” Athlete-girl quips adding to the fabricated crime, slyness creeping into her tone.

“I’m not in gym class.” Terezi pleads almost tearful.

“So unsophisticated!” Other-girl sing-songs as the other boy, silent until now, lets out a wheezing laugh. _Smoke-boy_ , Terezi calls him, unable to control where her thoughts were spilling. 

Without warning, Athlete-girl jerks Terezi forward, leading her towards the stairs that led to below the gym. The change rooms were there.

Terezi tries to jerk away one last time, but is struck violently in the head. When she is able to gain awareness again, her pulse is skyrocketing and she is already at the bottom of the stairs- able to feel the dampness that comes with being underground. 

“Where are you going?” Other-girl asks, sickly sweet, “Don’t you want to hang out with us?”

“I just want to be left alone,” Terezi breathes, “W-why are we down here?”

The girls giggle. The reason is _obvious._ The change rooms are so far out of the way, that no one will come here until the end of the block and there are no cameras so no one with eyes will actually be able to report anything, even after the fact. 

Additionally, Terezi could just make out the faintest sounds of a basketball game being played overhead. She could scream herself hoarse and not be heard over the thundering noise. 

_I might as well be in the middle of nowhere…_ Terezi realizes, but her thoughts are severed again when a closed fist slams into her jaw.

She lets out a gasp, Other-girl going in but she doesn’t hit as hard as Athlete does. Smoke-boy gets in a good shot, but the First-boy, was much more handsy than anything. Taking his chance to touch someone who would have ordinarily bitten off his hand rather than allow it.

Terezi curls in on herself, trying to endure when First-boy, pulls something out of his pocket and cuts into Terezi’s uniform.

“What the hell!” She gives a surprised shout, actually raising her voice as a huge chunk of her clothing is torn away.

“You didn’t get changed for class.” One of them says, as if explaining something to a small child.

But Terezi can’t hear it. Her eardrums start pounding as she tries to get away. The thought of _kniefkniefknief_ looping in her head.

With all of her might, she shoves Other-girl aside and flings herself deeper unto the change room, feeling the walls until her fingers closed around a handle.

_A stall._

Terezi throws herself inside, slamming it shut behind her.

“Stay away from me.” Terezi hisses, the words are barely out of her mouth when she realizes what she has done.

Her brain registers the smell of damp mold and moisture. The floor below her is slightly indented. This is a shower. The realization makes her feel like she has swallowed glass, _showers don’t have exits._

Terror and adrenaline once again spike through Terezi as she holds the handle shut against cruel fists which have begun to beat on the thin door. The reverberations moving up her arms are so bad her teeth clack painfully together with them.

“Oh come oooon, it’s not like we were even hurting you that much!”

“Yeah, come on, don’t be a bitch!”

Two of the girls are rummaging in their pockets for something, Terezi can hear them but can’t imagine what they are trying to do.

“No-here, use this.” Smoke-boy says producing something from his pockets. The others cheer.

 _What’s happening? What’s going on?_ Terezi wants to cry but it’s hard to even think through her over run fight or flight senses.

It goes quiet for a moment, the roaring in Terezi’s ears too great. Then Terezi finally hears it- papers ripping, followed by a clicking noise ever so faint.

Terezi doesn’t understand at first but then fire rains down on her. Like a tiny meteor show, crumpled notes are ignited and tossed over the top of the shower. Smoke-boy even takes it upon himself to shove burning papers under the bottom of the door. 

Unable to see, and unwilling to release her pressure on the door, the small fire balls start to singe Terezi, even though she tries her best to writhe and squirm away.

Nonsensically she is thankful, thinking _I would rather have the meteorites fall on me rather than my Lusus! Something about tumbling debris from the sky affecting her._

 _Huhh?_ A sudden groggy spell cuts through her haze of fear _, Lusus? Lusus don’t exist on Earth._

 _I wish I had one though, or a mammal parent who I could call._ There were community leaders in the Troll community and volunteers for the school integration, but it wasn’t the same.

_I’m alone._

This was a fact that burned just as painfully as the fire as the sinking realization that she had no one coming to save her truly sank in.

Or at least it’s more painful until Smoke-boy shoves a burning paper into Terezi’s shoe at the same moment the back of her hair catches on hire. The acrid smell sends her blindly feeling for the shower nozzle, bending her body unnaturally. 

It works at first. A blind grab gets the showerhead to sputter out some cold water at intermittent intervals. Which is such a **relief** Terezi tears start streaming down Terezi’s face, as she starts to thank gods she doesn’t believe in. 

Old one, Greek one’s even. The kind that believe in vengeance and folly. 

The fire and pounding stop momentarily.

 _Good,_ Terezi breaths, _Maybe if I can hold myself in here long enough they’ll get bored and go away?_

Seems logical. They probably were skipping class, and when the P.E class overhead finished up these rooms would be flooded with people. 

_I just have to hold on_. Terezi tells herself, but her sliver of hope dies along with the water, which loses pressure in a pathetic rusted and corroded death. 

_No, no, no._ Terezi moves to try to get the pipe working again, which is now emitting a low whistle. Perhaps it is her shot nerves or the frantic, slippery scrambling, but in her desperate state she lets go of the door just long enough for it to be wrenched open.

Terezi yelps at the sound. Slamming wood and squealing unoiled hinges.

“Got you!” One of the girls laughs like this whole terrifying ordeal had been a game.

Millions of years of troll evolution had left Terezi a muscled and mean fighting machine, but the generations on Earth had left her clawless and shaken. She probably _could_ hold her own here, a distant part of her brain whispered, but she fought that instinct bitterly. 

Has been fighting it.

If she hurt them in _any_ way, even to escape, they would be vindicated for their violence, Terezi knew, _and I’d be made into a monster._

She wanted to sob, that same feeling of bitterness at having inherited a broken world reared its head.

 _I can’t be safe here_ . She realizes, but then swallows her anger back down. She couldn't be safe unless she could make everyone _like her_ safe.

But what a thing it is to ask someone to destroy their present for a potential later.

These human students could essentially do anything and get away with it. The thought of no repercussions for any grizzly action left her feeling sick. Though not as sick as she felt to be the object of attention of the one boy who seemed to shake with perverse glee much more than the others.

 _Is this how the old Alternians must have felt when faced with the Grand Highblood?_ She wondered distantly, the shadow of grape flavour ghosting down her tongue. _Poor fools_ _utterly unable to save themselves from his total and utter fanatical attention and rage._

Together, the humans ripped Terezi out of the stall dragging her over to one of the benches that ran across the middle of the room. 

_Can’t lash out! Can’t lash out! Terezi almost says it out loud when_ one of them kicks her on the hip causing her to crash painfully against and then onto the bench, half sprawled and bruised. 

Though truth be told, Terezi doesn't feel anything at this point, adrenaline coursing through her as her heart continues to jackhammer. She feels nothing but she is still battered and her glasses are knocked askew. 

Haunting, burned out eyes set in a net of spider web scars stared back out at the human attackers. 

There are three small gasps, it’s enough for Terezi to maneuver herself into a sitting position, but it’s not enough to stop the most alarming boy, whom Terezi knows is grinning.

“Stay down.” He hisses just as the Athlete girl mutters in a tone of dull disgust, “It’s blind.”

 _No shit._ Terezi wants to growl but doesn’t.

“Oh shit, it’s the blind one?” There is some confusion, and then clarity when Smoke-boy says, _“_ Oh. wait. I’ve heard of you _._ You're famous. _”_

“Heh.” The much more sadistic boy lets out a smirking laugh, and it reminds Terezi so much of Dave Strider that it makes her want to roll over and puke.

“Well, well well, it looks like no matter what we do we’ll fail at making an impression on Little Miss Monster here. You know, celebrities and all...” He trails off before snapping his finger and saying, “Yo, Garnet, hand me a cig.”

Terezi’s stomach drops. They've already thrown fire at her, but those burns are surface and superficial, if they actually put out a cigarette on her skin it might scar permanently.

Terezi finally spits at the boy, panic, rage, and oddly guilt radiating off of her. _Isn’t it enough that I already have one permanent physical deformity?_

Apparently none of the gods she had prayed to thought so.

The sadistic boy must have made a ‘grab her’ gesture because suddenly Terezi is being pulled up by the hair into a standing position by Athlete.

“Stop this.” Terezi chokes out one last time. It wasn’t unlike telling a tsunami to piss off- A monstrous force absolutely incapable of caring.

Terezi’s arms are grabbed before she can even fully commit to flailing. In her haze she probably does push into a few of her attackers, but it’s not enough. They have her trapped and splayed.

She has to clamp down on her jaws to prevent a startled and agonized cry from escaping her lips. She did not want to give them the satisfaction of sounds.

“Hold it still.”

The grip around Terezi tightens, abruptly she is reminded of that phantom rope again.

“What are you going to do? Smoke-boy/Garnet asks. There is a hint of trepidation in his voice. Perhaps making fellow classmates is outside his comfort zone after all.

“Yeah, tell us! Tell us!” Two of the more indistinguishable girls chanted, they did not seem to have any reservations.

“It’s never going to learn if it doesn’t know who its true superiors are-“

There is a click of a lighter and _a_ repugnant smoke fills the air.

“I’m going to write my name in _braille_ **.** ”

 _Branding!?_ Terezi’s heart stills. The thought of having yet another person’s claim over her body is so grotesque, her panic stops and she is just left with cold incredulity and icy hardened rage. 

“Fuck you!” Terezi squirms. The humans all laugh. It is truly an awful moment, but the combination of fear chemicals in Terezi’s brain must be doing _something_ because just for a second, it’s like a veil lifts ever so slightly and Terezi can feel her own thoughts/ voice/ words / memories explaining:

_SH3 WOK3 M3 UP, 4ND 3V3R S1NC3 H4S B33N T34CH1NG M3 4 D1FF3R3NT W4Y TO S33_ ****

_4 D1FF3R3NT W4Y TO P3RC31V3 3V3RYTH1NG 1 GU3SS….”_ ****

Whatever echo it causes Terezi to still momentarily.

_What’s going on…? This… Can’t be real…._

Still hearing impossible things, Terezi is confused when the Sadist Boy presses the cigarette into her exposed chest. She expects pain, but more than that she expects to be brought back into her senses. Instead, her world erupts into pure colour. With every piece of the rainbow representing a complete coalescence of all the senses forming a cornucopia of complex flavours and textures. 

It’s all completely overwhelming, but despite the absolute bonanza in front of her, she knows immediately that the best colour/sense/sound that she is experiencing are the _reds_.

 _The reds!_ Terezi can’t believe all the minutely different shades of cherry. If red wasn’t her favourite colour, it sure was now.

The coppery-silver taste of the lockers, the fishy-salty showers, The lemon-meringue paint peeling off the walls all form a mad picture to Terezi, but soon she picks out six red human shapes in front of her glowing a delicious scarlet. 

_Am I a superhero?_ Terezi thinks, absently. 

The thought is dashed away when the cigarette comes down for a second time. This time Terezi does feel it, and it burns everything away back to nothing. 

The last thing that Terezi sees/smells/tastes with her super senses is another bright delicious cherry red human shape entering the room. Though, instead of an impish scarlet this one smells like stalled clock gears and flame. 

_Strange._

The shape of these senses is so unsettlingly familiar it makes Terezi ache, but she can’t hold the thought- it simply falls away before she can grab onto it.

 _Just another Human. Just another threat._ Is what she settles on instead, as dread starts to build within her again. Her blindness, now truly stifling in comparison to whatever fever dream she had just gone through. 

The new Red Boy walks into the room nonchalantly, he doesn’t say anything immediately but his presence causes the others to still _. Do they know him?_ Terezi thinks. There is something unsure and animal about the situation.

“Sup.” Red Boy twangs, “Whatcha y'all doing?”

 _Do I know him?_ Terezi amends her question when the voice is familiar, but try as she might she could not place it. 

The four humans, or at least the three humans who were not the Sadist Boy, actually seemed kind of thrown off to the point where Terezi is able to free her arms and scoot back along the bench. 

“Oh. It’s you! Well, you’ll love this, I suppose...” Smoker-boy states, “Though, we’re not doing much really....” he adds quickly.

“Just having some fun with one of the trolls!” Athlete elaborates. 

“I see.” Red Boy says taking a step forward. There is something dangerous in his tone that immediately puts Terezi right back on high alert.

“Care to join in?” The sadist boy asks.

Terezi almost cries at this, but the boy does not move. Instead, Terezi can hear him tilting his head and hum.

“What’s your name?” Red Boy asks, his tone strikingly even. The attackers, believing themselves safe from the danger this newcomer represents sound off like a well trained platoon. 

\--And they must have said normal human names- _they must have_ \- but for some reason all Terezi can hear is Mercury, Chalk, Garnet, and Stone. 

It’s odd to say the least. A record scratch over otherwise what is a perfectly good beat.

“I see.” Red Boy huffs coolness hardening into a commanding spike, “Get the hell outta here- now.”

The room goes cold and silent.

“Why?” The sadist, who was also maybe named Stone, asks suspiciously, but he seems to realize something before anyone has time to answer, “Oh shit! I didn’t realize how territorial you’d be, but this is _your_ troll, isn’t it?” He lets out a low whistle, “I totally get it! You want to be _alone_ with it. No don’t worry man, I won’t judge. You got to re-establish yourself-”

 _What does he mean?_ Anxiety claws at Terezi’s throat, _why is he backing off so fast?_ She’s missing something- she must be.

“I said get out, now.” Red Boy says absolutely toneless. 

“I- ah…” Stone falters from the intensity, “C-come on guys let’s go, the party is over…. We probably don’t want to stick around anyway….Our job here is done.”

_Job...? Well, if that is not foreboding…_

Terezi crossed her arms and began to cradle herself as Stone and the other humans began to file out of the change room without another word. They don’t even bump or jostle her.

For a second Terezi is angry again, mad that this stranger had the power to make her attackers disappear, livid that even after they left she still wasn’t safe from someone who was probably so much worse.

 _At least I’m not being pinned any more…._ That was a small victory, but when the door clicked shut it felt more like a prison sentence. Awful anticipation builds and Terezi begins to shake.

_Who is this person? Why did he need to be alone with me so badly?_

Terrible visions run through Terezi's mind. Different paths where the stranger grabs her already chafed throat and forces a tongue inside of her. Hands in places they have no right to be.

 _Ugh, no_. She makes herself flinch. She could run, she decided. It was just one human compared to four. It didn’t matter that the last time she was alone with a human male she lost her sight.

 _If he comes near me I am going to rip out his throat._ Hot teal tears start misting out the corners of Terezi’s ruined eyes. _It will sabotage everything! But I can’t- I just- I- I Can’t…_ Terezi starts to spiral.

“Sup.” A soft and gentle voice calls to her, causing her to startle. The intensity from early has disappeared completely- The discord this causes is jarring.

“What?” Is what Terezi manages feelings caught somewhere between explosive and incredulous. 

“Umm… So this is awkward.” The Red Boy says. He is a little too close, "I'm sorry it's me. I really am." He adds nonsensically. 

“Don’t come any closer.” She snaps, pointed teeth showing.

“Okay, I won’t.” Comes an easy response.

_And huh_

_That isn’t part of the script._

The room goes quiet. Terezi takes her chance to try to get her breathing under control. The human is unnaturally quiet and still, but just as Terezi is going to call out again. He shuffles and coughs saying, “I’m uh- not sure if it is clear, but I’m not here to hurt you.”

 _Liar!_ Terezi wanted to scream, but the boy's tone was right even if his actions were wrong. It was confusing and it was beyond frustrating, like looking at an Esher painting back when looking at things was possible.

“Whoever you are, please just leave me alone.” Terezi growls, only it must be in the wrong direction somehow because it’s the boy’s turn to startle. He says: “Shit, you don’t know who I am huh? You really can’t see, can you?”

“Tends to be what being blind means!” Terezi seethes, tone dripping with so much venom the boy actually apologizes. 

“I’m-I’m sorry.” He tries. Terezi swivels as she hears him sit down on the bench across from the one she had been trapped on before. She thinks she hears him put his head into his hands.

“What could you possibly be sorry for?”

He was far enough away that she didn’t feel trapped, which was terribly disarming in and of itself.

“ -A lot of things I guess. I really fucked up, Rezi. This whole farce of a life. It’s me, the timeline breaker, the worst possible person.” He’s babbling now, but Terezi ignores him, instead focusing on the fact that a stranger just called her a name that only her friends used.

“How do you know my name?” She grows wondering dully if this was a trick somehow.

“Shiiii…Uh… I mean. I sit next to Karkat, in ummm History class or some shit. Yeah.”

 _I didn’t know Karkat had human friends?_ But apparently there was a lot she didn’t know about Karkat. _Oh but he had mentioned a John at some point…Humans he played a game with._

 _And huh,_ back to Karkat again. All his weird stories suddenly not so strange after all. It caused Terezi to want to investigate further.

“What’s your name?” Terezi asks, feeling braver.

“Shaggy 2 dope”

“No really...”

“Ben Stiller.”

“Fine you don’t have to tell me!” she huffs but finds herself oddly amused. _It’s a nice feeling to have the danger actually abate a bit._

Of course she hasn’t actually tried to leave yet.

An awkward silence descends through the room. 

“What do you want?” Terezi finally asks.

“Nothing, I guess…?” He hesitates and then sighs, “I didn’t think any of this through.”

“Well, clearly. But why are you here?” Terezi presses.

“Why am I _here_? Shit that’s a long tale, one fraught with danger, and adventure on the high seas… But here as in this sweaty dungeon?… well…. I dunno. Smelled smoke. Only you can prevent forest fires and all that.”

“Oh, a comedian…. I definitely need one of those.” She leers in his direction, bolstered by the fact he hadn’t seemed offended by her tone or manner of speaking. She takes the opportunity to ask, “Why did you save me?” _How did you save me?_ is what she really wants to ask because it couldn't have been the smoke, he was definitely lying about _that_ for some inane reason, but the question does not come.

Because this is what happened isn’t it? The danger was gone. Somehow replaced with a bizarre kindness that she knew somewhere in the core of her body _was not supposed to be._

“I…”

“I’m just a troll after all.” She presses trying to convey at least some sense of oddity back into the situation.

“I… uh… Look, Rezi, please don’t talk that way. I’d save anyone just like how I know you would. it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters actually when you get down to it. It doesn’t matter if you are a troll, or a human, or a crocodile... what matters is we are sort of stuck together- if that makes sense, like friends, and like glue, but mostly friends… and I guess if you wanted to be all self sacrifice-y and justice-y, like I know you want to be, you could expand that definition to the whole world, because yeah, fuck. We’re all stuck in this crappy world Spacetime created- But, I guess as compensation, we are all stuck together? Fuck, if that isn’t the most awful and most beautiful thing ever…. “

Terezi can hear the air moving around him as he talks. He’s gesturing like she can see. She frowns as he continues. Karkat sometimes does the same thing. 

“-Can you imagine all the first meeting between you and me exactly like this? Can you imagine them for every living creature just replaying repeatedly? Just meeting everyone they ever loved or hated again and again infinitely in all their different lives…?-”

And alright, now he was just off topic. Terezi decided to chance a confrontation and try to get him back to the situation at hand. 

“Look, I didn’t understand a lot of what you just said. Some of it was beautiful but most of it was stupid.”

“I- uh, sorry. I haven’t been talking much, lately…”

“I find that hard to believe.”

The human barks out a short laugh saying, “Not my fault there are jack asses here who don’t understand the finer points of time travel.”

_What the absolute fuck? This human is bonkers..._

Terezi liked him immediately despite herself.

She hisses though when he throws something at her. Before she can scramble away or move to claw at him for betraying her trust, her brain registers that it’s something soft.

“What is this?”

“Sa’ shirt.”

“I noticed. ”

“They cut your shirt….and- uh- I think there are rules about walking around topless maybe? Which are dumb because we are all topless under our shirts anyway, but still you could get in trouble and that’s not a great thing and also they don’t really heat this school which is awful because it’s October and is cold as balls.”

“Umm.” 

He must take Terezi's stunned silence for disdain because he quickly adds to his rapidly growing word salad, “I know it’s not a great shirt, or a good solution but we could go to the lost and found and get a better one...If you- uh… want..”

He trails off and Terezi cocks her head, what even was this situation. “Are you saying you want to go with me to be lost and found?” She could not figure out how a sinister angle could be applied to this. 

“I was.” He sounded kind of stunned himself, “I would solve the most immediate of our problems anyway.. Plus maybe if I go with you those other guys won’t bother you?”

“Ohhhh! My hero! Swooonnn.” Terezi deadpans _, why was this so easy? It wasn’t supposed to be so easy to talk to a human._ Between the fever dream and the adrenaline slowly leaving her body nothing really felt real right now.

“You’re laughing now, but If you go alone then suddenly I either have to help you hide the bodies or I gotta explain to those kid’s mamas why their precious angels got a fourteenth century dragon style raw vs smackdown beat down from a dear sweet, innocent troll girl-“

_A dragon...?_

Terezi was going to question the Red Boy further, claws closing around the shirt, but it occurred to her that whatever psychobabble this was, he was trying to cheer her up.

 _If he’s in a troll class maybe that means he’s trying to support integration? Maybe he’s not a H.A.T. member… Someone rare who will stand up to them._ It wouldn’t have surprised her if the other humans had been.

_I wonder if this is John?_

The name John does fit somehow, though not exactly. _Tastes wrong._ Terezi frowns, not really understanding the thought behind it. 

She takes a breath and puts on the shirt, thinking that even if there were something cruel written on it, it would still be worth it not to be so exposed.

 _Plus, I came to Prospit for a reason, right? I can walk somewhere with a strange human._ A human who apparently had taken a different path and not become a monster when he very well could have.

“Yeah, alright.” She says, “Let’s go.”

“Really? I mean, yeah.”

Terezi wished bitterly that she could see his face so she could see how he looked at her. He hasn’t said anything about the ruined clothes or her appearance in general. She can’t decide what that means. 

While Terezi is trying to puzzle everything out her foot catches unevenly on a step. She fumbles briefly, arm automatically reaching out to steady herself. Her neatly filed claws find purchase on the Red Boy’s back.

She quickly retracts it, panic filling her once more. She hadn’t really touched a human before, but he didn’t seem mad, pausing instead to ask if she was alright.

“I’m as good as I can be.” She assures, blinking and moving her fingers only now realizing that the humans’ back was bare. 

_The shirt he gave me was his…?_ This was yet another thing Terezi could not parse out. What reason could there be for this. She wasn’t sure. Instead she just quickly follows this impossible boy’s footsteps until they come to a secluded hallway filled with musty smelling bins of lost clothes.

“Alright, anything your heart desires.”

“I’m blind I have no idea where to even begin.”

“Oh, right.”

Terezi kind of feels bad so she adds in, “I just don’t want to pick anything offensive.” Maybe it was stupid to trust the human but she also really didn’t want to pick out the wrong colour.

Terezi still thinks he should be kind of annoyed at the task, but everything about his tone felt oddly like he was touched at having been asked at all.

“Of course, milady.” He says with what are probably more exaggerated gestures she can’t see.

Terezi grins and a second later he produces an oversized sweater that feels comfortable slipped on. Terezi hesitantly makes a move to return his shirt which is gently turned down. 

“You shouldn’t agitate your burns. I’ll just wear this one.” He holds up something she obviously can’t see.

"Um, okay."

“Also, do you want to go to the nurse or something and get some burn cream?” He asks, voice muffled behind a wall of fabric as he was forcing whatever atrocity he picked out over his head.

“No.” Terezi says, “It was really shocking and awful but I don’t have mammal skin, the fire probably won’t even leave the kind of marks they intended. They really should have used the knife all things considered.” 

The boy huffs, “I mean yeah, maybe… but will you be comfortable?

 _I’m never comfortable here_ Terezi wants to say, but instead just shakes her head, “I’m fine.”

“Well as long as- Oh, wait! Your sweater is missing something. Can you hold still for a sec?”

“I uh…” She did not want him close.

Seeming to sense that he amends, “Or you can hand me the sweater. It will only be for a second.”

Deciding she didn’t have a good reason to deny him, Terezi does shrug off the sweater and hand it over. 

He rummages through a bag and pulls out what smells like permanent markers.

 _Is he writing something?_ Terezi thinks curiously.

He makes two quick impressions then returns the sweater. “Perfect. I’m basically Picasso at this point, but with mildly less toxic machismo-ism.” He declares as she puts it back on. 

_Is this the trick?_ But it really didn’t feel like one. _Why didn’t it feel like one?_

Terezi frowns again, “Thanks.” She says in her flattest tone.

“Do you want me to walk you to your next class?”

“No. It’s okay. It’s not far from here.”

“Alright.”

But he tags along anyway. 

“You really don’t have to... Are you some kind of stalker?”

“No, but my next class is in this direction too.”

“I doubt it.” Terezi growls under her breath, but let’s him continue, recognizing that he probably blew off his whole first period just to help her. Her stomach clenches a little uneasily at that. Did he want something after all? Did he think she owed him?

_I do kind of owe him though..._

Her frown deepens..

The bell rings, finally when it’s no longer useful to do so, making the hallways impossible to navigate. Terezi notes they are near her law class when someone bumps into her and knocks her painfully over on her side. It was most certainly on purpose.

Terezi hisses in pain, her body already battered but doesn't say anything back.

Unfortunately Red Boy does, “Hey, watch where you’re going, piss head!”

“Oh, uh… I…”

“What? Thought I’d join in? Laugh at your stupid antics? Oh-look-how-clever–I-am-I knocked-down-a–girl. Yeah wow, coolest dude of the year award goes to you. You deserve it buddy.” 

The rude unknown human makes a confused gulping noise and scampers off.

Red Boy sighs, “Everyone is so rude in this timeline.” He mumbles nonsensically to himself. Terezi just blinks as she manages to get up on her own. The fact that he doesn’t move to touch her in any way leaves her feeling incredibly grateful. 

“You okay?” He eventually asks from the side.

“Yeah….” Terezi lies. 

If anything she was exhausted, she couldn’t believe she still had a full school day on top of the long bus ride home.

“Well, uhhh… I mean, look, I know it would be kinda hard to hang out at school. Assholes like that guy earlier tend to follow me around a lot…”

 _Hmm there is a story there._ Terezi narrows her eyes and moves to ask, but Red Boy is still rambling, “-But if you ever want to just chill after school maybe I can give you my Pesterchum username.”

Terezi closes her mouth incredulous. 

Red Boy, then pauses apparently realizing something.

“Wait!” He’s distressed in a way he wasn’t during the earlier confrontations, which is odd, “I might not have pesterchum. Can I get yours? Or- I can write down what I want my user name to be and you can just add it when I make it later.”

“I can’t read anything you write.” She reminds him, mind still reeling. 

“Oh, shit that’s right.” Red Boy almost laughs but the humour is tainted by something more depressed. “I, uh, forgot? You still have a pesterchum though, right?”

“Yeah.” Terezi says hesitantly. A storm of thoughts screaming _lies, lies, lies, don’t trust him_ rages through her mind.

 _I probably shouldn’t give him my Pesterchum…._ She knows _,_ _but….._

He was the very first positive interaction she has had at this school. 

Before she can reconsider, Terezi sighs, “gallowsCalibrator. Little G. Big C.” 

Red Boy sputters, “No shit?” His tone is utterly inscrutable. 

“Aren’t you going to write it down?”

“Nah, I’ll remember.” He sounds confident.

“Oh…. Okay.” Terezi says just as they arrive at the door to her class, “It seems like this is my stop.”

“Cool. I’ll talk to you later, Rezi.” 

“Oh- Than-“ Terezi moves to say but the mysterious boy is already gone. For a moment Terezi can imagine a lone shade of red meandering through the dull halls. Glowing like the ruby carmine of dragon eyes.

 _Wait, dragon’s don’t- What’s wrong with me? Jesus._ She runs a hand through her hair. But, Terezi is once again saved by her strange reverie by the arrival of a friend. 

“Greetings, Terezi. What are you doing outside of class?” A beautifully clipped voice asks.

“Oh. Hi, Kanaya… I was just thinking about... stuff.”

“I see. Is that a new shirt? What happened to your uniform?” The tone becomes more concerned.

“Oh. It had an accident. This is just a temporary fix.”

“I see. Well, I must say you drew your symbol on it with impeccable penmanship. I am very impressed.”

“My symbol?”

“Yeah.” Kanaya traces it, “It’s such a lovely teal too.”

_He couldn’t have…_

Terezi blinks dumbfoundedly in Kanaya’s direction feeling more lost than ever. _He couldn’t have known about wearing symbols…_ _But okay, some humans do know that stuff. But if he knew, how then could he have known mine? The personal symbols on the uniforms are so small and greyed out. He would have had to have met her before…_

 _But that was impossible too, isn’t it?_ Terezi reels, _Knowing someone you haven’t met?  
_ _  
But there was this one troll... _   
  


once upon a time in Alternia. 

Who told a submariner and a huntress of another world.

Terezi shuts her eyes. Hand darting to her necklace. Against all odds, is still there. She breaths a sigh of relief.

 _\--We played with four humans…_. Karkat had said.

 _Time travel,_ this human had whispered.

After a moment, some deep, dormant part of Terezi awakens, _it’s all pieces to the same puzzle_ , her mind tells her because _there are no true coincidences in this, or in any world._

 _So, without the easy explanation of pure chaos and randomness all that’s left is a real mystery then_. She thinks. One that has gone so deep she might have missed it if not for the _cracks._

Excitement building, she can’t help the grin that splits across her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, alright what did you guys think? A big thank you to everyone who decided to read this and/or who left a comment! As always please feel free to ask questions or make suggestions to help improve the story!~ ^^
> 
> I'm wondering if anyone has any guesses on where the timeline actually fractured...?


	11. Castles Made Of Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what Karkat has been up to this whole time. It involves some pretty bad dreams.

_Many moons passed and the dream grew strong until tomorrow_

_He would sing his first war song_

_And fight his first battle_

_but something went wrong_

* * *

Seeing his friends, who were the same but oh so different, is a worse punishment than Karkat could have _ever_ imagined.

 _They don’t know me and I don’t know them._ The anguish of that particular thought leaves him shaking whenever it decides to rake itself through Karkat’s thoughts. But just so many of them look at him like a stranger, even the ones that somehow knew this universe’s version of him. _What are you?_ Their gazes seem to say. _What are you?_ It was very much like being a blood pariah again. Some awful secret that is always bubbling within him that _no one else_ can see, no matter how badly he wants to show them.

 _I’m so pathetic._ Karkat hangs his head.

Talking on the computer is a disaster- Every troll eventually adds him, but when he tries to talk to them- even Aradia- they shut down. Terezi actually blocks him for a good few hours. Which leaves Karkat in a spiral of dark thoughts. 

Online was hard enough, but _in person_ made the questioning gazes he suffered through so much _harder_ to hold. _Like I’m somehow the wrong and empty one._

He has to swallow before heading to the youth/community centre. Terezi made him promise not to be late. Inside they checked his appearance. They must find it acceptable, because they let him go, fussily moving on to the next arrival. 

_They better find me fucking acceptable in this stupid thing_. Karkat growls silently to himself, tugging at the stupid Prospit uniform. The gymnasium eventually fills with all the friends Karkat thought he lost.

It is only through a lifetime of suppressing his emotions that he is able to keep tears back. _I suppose the one blessing is that everyone who died gets to live again?_ Though alive as _what_ version is still up for debate. 

From what he can immediately discern, Vriska is practically a whole different person, with the worst of her murderous vindictiveness removed. Eridan and Gamzee too in their own ways are much softer- It makes Karkat’s blood-pusher twist. _Is this what we could have been? If Alternia only had one moon..._

Where they were softer though, other people were forced to carry new unforeseen weights. 

_Terezi in particular has more fear. She carries it with her in every step. Kanaya too is in hiding and is afraid of discovery._ Two things Karkat had keenly felt himself back in his old life. 

Sighing again, Karkat rubs his eyes against the harsh light of the sun. _That’s another thing!_

Up until now he had been living as a nocturnal being in _space_ \- a place that was basically perpetually night. The others all had the benefit of a lifetime on Earth to adjust, and while he also has those instincts and memories still, they did not supersede the fact that, until recently, he was living in space with a very _small_ number of people. With a very set number of tasks. Up to and including training to die in a battle against a _green time lord._

 _Christ._ Karkat rubbed his eyes again, it was too early to to help in _yet_ another cause. _I don’t miss space exactly…_ Karkat tries to rationalize _. It was awful and empty… but- There were nice things about it. Quiet moments with the Mayor. Getting to know Dave better and not feeling like such a freak in my own skin…_ An ugly thought dawned over him _, When was the last time I held my stupid human boyfriend’s hand…. Will I ever get to again?_ _Ughhhh,_ Karkat cringes, somehow the abuse and civil unrest they were meant to march past didn’t _rank_ when compared to the idea that Dave might be _here now_ and might _hate him_. 

It might be selfish but Karkat can picture it in perfect clarity. Red eyes behind shades grinning with malicious glee- prompted or perhaps encouraged by his abuser to do something big to prove his loyalty- _He would jump at the chance to please anyone he thought loved him…_ Karkat knew with terrible certainty. _After all, I am a knight too._

Karkat hums low in his chest, _Whatever that’s worth._

 _The question really shouldn’t be if I can handle whatever bullshit I’m supposed to do, but rather if I can handle seeing Dave._ The short answer is no- the long answer is decisively more complicated. 

_Gog, I’m a dumb ass._ Karkat grabs at his hair in horrible frustration but is saved from pulling it out, when Kanaya appears beside him, as silent and as deadly as death.

“JEGUS. FUCK! You startled me.” Karkat yelps, trying to quiet himself before one of the staff members reprimand him. They were busy checking people in. One yellow blooded lady looks up, but then goes right back to her job again. Karkat then has to remind his stupid leaky think-sponge that _adults are apparently totally fine_ on Earth more or less for _some reason_ . It is only when _that_ panic attack dies down that he is able to look at Kanaya.

She stands blinking at him, head tilted as if she too is encountering something jarringly out of place, before she melts back into a persona that more resembles who Karkat used to know. 

“My apologies. I simply wanted to talk to you again before we became too busy with our duties.”

She is wearing the stupid uniforms they gave everyone, some strange thoughtless token of unity among them- but a blatant sign of otherness among the human students. On her it still manages to look great- but Karkat knows it was just another thing that would have to work against if they actually wanted to change something in this strange world. Karkat frowns, _how do I always end up dragged into these situations._

 _Something inherited probably._ Karkat decides. He sighs. “Right. Yeah, something about schoolfeeding?” 

“Schoolfeeding?” Kanaya hesitates, “School _equality_ is just one part of the cause- The main goal of desegregation is- _well,_ ” She blinks as if changing tracks suddenly, “Greater equality.” 

“Sure.” Karkat says but frowns, Kanaya’s statement not ringing quite true.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I alarmed you in our text chat before, I was just stressing out a lot about today, _probably_. Don’t worry about it, though. I didn’t mean to be so erratic.”

Kanaya hesitates again, but this time picking out her words carefully instead of just being stunned, “You said some _very_ strange things.”

“Yeah, and I am _sorry_ about that.”

“You asked about a few _very_ delicate topics. The kind that could get people in _trouble_.” The last word is practically hissed. It leaves Karkat blinking. 

At a loss trying to puzzle out what Kanaya means, Karkat tries to recall what he brought up to her and his reasoning. _Trolls aren’t extinct as evidenced by a bunch of tame-ass adults running around town- so the matriorb is probably still alive and well- if there are young trolls around. The world generally being alive means The Vast Glub too is either a distant event or cancelled entirely- so that means… Is this about her being a rainbow drinker?_

 _That piece seems to fit._ Karkat tries to sort through his other set of memories but there is nothing particularly new in there about rainbow drinkers- other than their being _another_ fringe religious group out there somewhere; _Ughhh,_ _there seems to be quite a few of those in this world. All dedicated to the Beforus trolls in some capacity. Whyyy?_ The Kuroz/Grandhighblood church that _apparently exists_ does not bode especially well.

 _Would I actually be upset though?_ Karkat tries to imagine, forcing his thoughts to cooperate. He knows his other self would probably be scared shitless. As it stands though, Karkat is not his other self, and is almost incapable of not loving any version of Kanaya.

 _I wonder if…. It would be worse here for her on Earth..._ Karkat knew humans had the concept of vampires, _would that make it harder somehow?_ The thought of any version of his friends having to live in hiding twisted his blood-pusher in odd ways. _She said she was afraid of being removed from the program. Maybe she is still afraid…_

_The program means something to her- to all of them… Fuck, I need to get it together._

“Fuck.” Karkat mutters, “Kanaya, I really really don’t care if you are a rainbow drinker. And I know I’ve been kind of a self-serving asshole in the past, but I promise I won’t tell anyone unless you say so, okay. I meant everything I said _before_ , and I would rather die than tell anyone something that would get you in trouble.” And just because he could Karkat tacks on, “And fuck Eridan. I was apparently just hiding behind him because of some weird complex I had- that was a shit move. I know that’s a shit move _now_ so it will never happen again. You can drain me of all my pathetic mutant blood if I go back on my word, that’s how serious I am.”

“Yes….” Kanaya blinks, apparently trying to process everything, “The mutant blood...”

“A secret for a secret.” Karkat nods, not really liking that he has to go back into hiding again. It feels like _regressing_. Still, he knows better than anyone that being perceived as an outsider, especially one in a strange land, could easily get you killed.

“I also will try not to do anything that will expose you in harmful ways.” Kanaya promises, though she tilts her head and adds, “Though, what we are doing is very dangerous. There is no guarantee that you will be able to remain wound free.”

 _Did she care somehow? Despite everything?_ The thought is nice.

“Well, I’ve made it through most of my life without being exposed.” Karkat shrugs, “What’s a bit more borrowed time.”

Kanaya seems to find that statement the oddest of all, but she still nods politely like she understands. “...How did you know? About me?”

Karkat hesitates, the meeting area they were in was getting louder, and louder. He couldn’t make up his mind about what was right to say, and didn’t want to be unwelcome. _This is way harder when I can’t just block, delete, and uninstall my chat accounts._

“You told me.”

“But I _didn’t_.”

“I saw you rise from the dead glowing with vengeance. You named yourself to me, so I know exactly what you are, but I’m so fucking grateful because it means we can still be here together. In my experience, what you are rarely has as much sway as who. And who _you_ are is someone pretty consistently good no matter what form.” 

“Yes, but-” Kanaya abruptly cuts herself off. Nepeta had spied them across the room and had extracted herself from Feferi to bound over. In one big motion she glommed onto Kanaya, “Hi Karkity! Hi, Nya! Aren’t you soooo excited!?” She asks. While Kanaya is distracted, Karkat tries to see who else has arrived. 

The answer is _everyone_ . Which still sends him for a loop. _Everyone’s alive, mysteriously chosen to help change the world..._

 _It must mean something,_ he thinks again. _Repeating patterns always mean something_. It’s maddening though, trying to understand how fate would have them all together again, despite trying so desperately to also keep them apart.

Karkat is broken from his thoughts when he sees a very distressed Terezi leaving in a hurry. That sets off something deep in his psyche that he cannot name. Another time, another place. Mountains and mountains of spoiled soda and not a happy end in sight. 

Karkat frowns.

“I have to go.” He tells Kanaya who seems at a loss for how to deal with an overly excited cat-girl. 

“Yes. I suppose we’ll have to talk later.” 

He nods, waving a slight goodbye to both his friends before slipping from the room. He doesn’t have to go far though. Terezi is right there, balled up and shaking slightly. 

_Oh. It’s an anxiety attack_. Karkat blinks, opening his mouth and closing it again. “Are you alright?” he asks, eventually already knowing the answer. How anyone could possibly be ‘alright’ was out of his realm of understanding. 

His presence does _something_ though, because Terezi stops her rough breathing and shakes her head like she can’t believe what she is hearing.

“What are _you_ doing here?” She asks, absolutely incredulous he would notice her or care. Her tone stings in a _deeply painful_ way. _Of course I want to know if you are hurting, I care about you_ . But their relationship is fundamentally _different_ here. _I can’t just dump my stupid bleeding heart everywhere_ , Karkat knows.

“I uhh, don’t know.” Is all he can say, “I was with Kanaya and then I came out here.”

Her mouth upticks when she seems to get that Karkat is trying to be caring. _Which is only a small relief in comparison to the fact that Terezi is willing to talk to me at all._

He is still blocked on Pesterchum, the topic of Dave still sits heavy between them. A minefield he blunders through anyway by implying that Terezi _isn’t actually blind_ . _Gog, I am the worst._ She lets him talk for a bit about dragons and their old lives, but it is clear she isn’t happy about it- baring her teeth and asking what colour he’ll bleed. 

_Is human school-feeding really so violent?_ The other Karkat has no idea, though there is some alarming evidence to support Terezi in his memories. “You really can’t smell it, huh?" _No, to hell with this, I already told Kanaya. That’s enough for one day. Terezi can re-figure it out without cheating this time._

He tells her so.

Terezi, absurdly, seems to cheer up a bit. _She mustn’t get many chances to act like a brat…_ Karkat realizes sadly. 

The knowledge that they are still _children_ hits him like a ton of bricks. _Regardless, I can’t lie to her…_ So, Karkat trades all the goodwill he just won when Terezi asks how she used to know about his blood colour.

“It was another life.” is all he says.

* * *

The bus ride feels ordinary, but Karkat can sense the group's trepidation rising. Terezi especially seems more lost than normal. 

“Sit here.” He directs. When she complies it feels like another victory. She’s still at first, her sightless eyes gazing at something a million miles away, but she slowly grow more and more agitated. Karkat can see it in her minute flinches and flexes. _Should I say something?_ He wants to but it is Terezi who speaks first. Shaking a little, she asks him more about a past she didn’t remember.

Karkat doesn’t think much of telling her, knowing that she is really just searching for an anchor in a moment of pain, but she seems to freeze at the mention of being a Seer. Karkat can’t see her eyes, but the strange silence that follows his words gives him pause. 

_Is there something there?_ He wonders before shaking his head, the moment fades and she starts deflecting, asking about his maroon blood.

 _You did that before_ . Karkat wants to tell her but can’t, _it’s okay. I understand_. He just grumbles and tries to will the now quieted bus into a less oppressive place. He of course fails. 

“Aren’t you scared? Terezi asks out of nowhere. The answer is 'no'. It’s still no even when they pull up and Karkat is forced to see the angry mob of humans shouting obscenities, trying to reinforce their own ideas of what a _proper_ society should be.

Seeing the mob of humans outside the bus is _something-_ Though, before Karkat can move his mouth to form the question ‘why?’ they all _flicker_.

It’s just for a moment,  
  
but,  
  
Karkat swears he is seeing high blooded trolls rant and scream at the hectic who would dare come to their village preaching of a foreign equality they had no idea could exist. 

_What the fuck…._ Karkat blinks. Regardless of anything, the sight of so many upset people makes him depressed. He has his counterparts' memories- but he also had Dave’s stories. Dave’s vision of Earth had been _very different_ from the wave of hate he was seeing. 

_Corruption_ is the word that comes to mind, though he cannot really be sure why. _Just another arm of Doc Scratch’s cancer._

He imagines an eldritch abomination whispering into the minds of humans, just like how it whispered into Alternians all those years ago. Was _still_ whispering however softly.

“Gog, we really are the same.” Karkat whispers, but no one hears. Too caught up in the feverish moment to wonder about being puppets to a particularly cruel and capricious fate. 

It is only when the crowd starts lobbing projectiles that Karkat really does feel his first spike of terror. Old thoughts of _hide your blood hide your blood hideyourblood_ course through him in a cascade. Still he manages to swallow it down and press on.

“We’re here.” He tells Terezi.

“Okay she responds.” 

And somehow, in this moment, that is enough.

* * *

They don’t make it in their first attempt.

  
Or their second  
  


Or their _seventh.  
  
_

Each day, Karkat scans the crowd for Dave. He knows Terezi is doing the same thing. Both of them are relieved he is nowhere to be seen.

“He’s somewhere.” Terezi tells him. Her words sound like a threat.

He thinks he sees John and Jade briefly, but there is always too much noise and commotion to be completely sure.

His other self doesn’t know them, so he has no idea if they arbitrarily hate him in this world. Somehow that thought is what twists his stomach up the most. Though, it is secondary to the real threat of having his blood drip everywhere.

His one saving grace from that particular nightmare is Kanaya. _It’s always Kanaya_. Perhaps it was some odd act of solidarity or perhaps even pity, but she takes the brunt of the damage for Karkat. If she was perhaps just a bit too fast or a bit too strong than she should have been, he did not comment. No one else seems to notice.

“Thanks.” He says once after a close call. Painfully relieved that his skin is unbroken, and it was just his horn that took damage.

“For what?” Kanaya responds. 

Absurdly, Karkat finds himself weirdly missing her red dress, if only because it was something she had chosen for herself.

“For still trying, I guess.” He shrugs. He likes to think that despite everything, they at least have an understanding. 

That first night, Karkat sits at home staring at his mostly unbroken flesh. Thinking about rivers upon rivers of technicoloured blood.

* * *

By his third night of night terrors and unbidden memories an exhausted Karkat lays in bed wishing, not for the first time, for some sopor. _I suppose it’s okay-_ the howling night terrors didn’t seem to bother his friends here, and he was never really prone to them when he was sleeping in actual Alternia, close to the ocean where the Horrorterror exerted its corruptive force.

He still had regular PTSD fuel nightmares though. 

  
Falling in lava,

  
his friends being torn to shreds. 

  
The faces of angry black and white dogs…

  
dead frogs...  
  


Each night he would wake up in a cold sweat. Only to be greeted by an unfamiliar room, full of things that didn’t hold any meaning to him any more.

It both drives his nesting instincts crazy and rewards him with a fresh wave of disgust. _What kind of wretched invasive creature am I?_

The room itself was almost like a dormitory meant to be cheap and mass produced by some governing body. _I suppose without Lucii it’s the only way to simulate some kind of community care..._

According to his grey memories the apartment units are how he, Eridan, Terezi, Nepeta, and Kanaya all met. 

_I actually had in person people who cared about me and I still turned into a mess? God damn._ Karkat ran his fingers down his face, wishing his claws would hurry up and grow back.

 _I miss Dave,_ he sighs feeling more alone than ever, _I just want someone, somewhere, sometime, to understand…”_

_But how could anyone understand this?_

He stares up at the single pale Earth moon, and fitfully does find his way to sleep. 

  
_Only..._

When he opens his eyes he is staring up at twin pink and green ones.  
  


_Is this a dream?_ Karkat blinks sluggishly, _am I dreaming?_ It doesn’t feel like a dream _exactly_ , but rather like he is seeing the real world through different eyes. Almost like his height is wrong and the colours are all saturated. 

‘What is-’ Karkat tries to say, but finds that he does not have a way to speak. He is looking through _different eyes_ , has _different hands._

“Who am I?” 

There is a vague notion of a too thin troll boy in a red sweater, but any questions he has are swallowed by intense feelings of love. His small face breaks into a smile. He is still Karkat, but he is also _someone else._

Karkat, and not-Karkat are looking up at a troll wearing immaculate jade robes. She is gazing down at him with equal adoration. _I know you…._ Karkat thinks. _Mother,_ his other thoughts _melt._

“My dearest.” She says, uneven horns curling delicately, “Did you have a nightmare? You're shaking.”

“I don’t _know_.” He says, “I think I was seeing something.” He blinks, “Did you have tattoos before?”

“No.” the woman says curiously. It leaves Karkat with a frown. 

“Are you sure you are okay? You're all clenched up.”

 _Am, I?_ He remembers being in his room on Earth. He remembers being in a cave covered in cold sweat because of all the vague and impossible shapes that danced through his dreams.

Karkat looks down and _ah_ , he has been squeezing his little fists together. Razor sharp claws digging into his palms. Mutant red blood wells up, three large droplets oozing sluggishly. 

“But we _saw_.” is all Karkat and some version of Kankri say, before Karkat’s own panic causes him to jolt himself back awake in this room, under the light of a single pale moon.

 _What the fuck was that._ Karkat breathes rapidly, feeling haunted.

_Was it a dream? Was it a vision? Why was I a different person?_

_Why is this happening?_

When he gets a handle on his hyperventilating, he gazes down at his palms. The bandage he once had there is long gone, but the shallow scar from his first cut still remains. He runs a finger over the marred skin feeling lost.

* * *

In terms of his sleep, it only gets worse, but in terms of their school crusade things do get better.

Eventually, the coordinators complain to the governor who complains to the president, who calls in the _fucking_ army. It takes five whole days for them to finally show up, but they do and finally there is enough of a buffer for them to enter Prospit. 

Karkat doesn’t know what to think about that when it finally happens.

Technically, Karkat knew _exactly_ why he was supposed to be here in this roiling sea of hate, but it felt second hand- like reading about a great historical event in a book. “Any reason the humans are supposed to hate us so much?” Karkat asks suddenly, really struck by the strangeness of it. 

Kanaya pauses then says, “Hmm. That’s curious wording. But I suppose it is the same as anything else. We are different. We act differently and speak differently. But mostly I believe it is because if people can be controlled then there will always be others who will exert that power of manipulation. Perhaps not unlike a child pulling along their marionettes. 

“Humans don’t have psionics, they can’t control us like that though?”

“That is not the only way to control someone.” Kanaya’s voice tightens, “I believe, in a way, that the humans are controlling us all right now.”

Neither set of Karkat’s memories have the context for _that._ “Huh?” Is all he can say, before he sees Terezi move towards the door with rigid, unstoppable purpose. 

_This is it, huh?_ Karkat marvels. It feels like such a small victory in the vast, broken universe. But it is a win so he’ll take it.

* * *

Perhaps because he pushed forward with his friends, he also pushed forward with his dreams. Whatever the reason, Karkat starts dreaming of a town somewhere far away. He preaches there of love and peace. His friends are also there- So much like Kanaya, Sollux, and Nepeta but not.   
  


_Porrim_

_Mituna_

_Meulin_

  
He loves them dearly, he loves so much they label him a heretic. He doesn’t care. He’ll go on preaching his impossible love, because it's the truth. Could be the truth if people tried.

Then the city _burns._

 _‘I’m sorry_ ’ he mouths even though it is only himself that can see.

When Karkat wakes up, heart thundering and skin calmly, he just stares out the window. _What are you trying to show me? What are you trying to tell me?_ Karkat asks his dreams, but of course they cannot answer. 

_It’s exhausting. Living all these lives._ Karkat sighs, then gets up for his day.

* * *

_Actually having to go to human school-feeding is garbage_ , Karkat decides immediately. People stare at him like they know he is a mutant freak and it makes his skin crawl _. They don’t know_ . He assures himself. _You have to be here to help the others. Beyond that, I'm stuck here. I might as well help, right?_ Self doubt stabs at him, _am I really helping though?_ It is unclear.

His first few classes come and go. Karkat tries to pay attention but he is so in his head that it is hard. He has a cooking class with Equis, Nepeta, and Eridan. It is exactly as insufferable as he thinks it will be. 

Next he has some bullshit earth science, biology, and now English. Jade is there and Karkat doesn’t really know what to do with that information.

_Are they all here?_

It seems strangely _likely._

_But is that a good thing?_

She offers him an unsure smile but there is no light of recognition in her eyes. It makes him slump lower in his chair. 

For a second it looks like she’ll come over and introduce herself, but then she grimaces in pain and remains seated. 

_Huh,_ Karkat thinks as the teacher hands out grammar sheets. Then, after a few seconds of thought decides _, I guess it is kind of social suicide to be seen talking to me._

He spends the whole class fretting. Trying in turn to both catch and to avoid Jade’s eyes. By lunch he has exhausted himself to the point that even Terezi comments.

“You look like trash.”

“I thought you couldn’t see?”

“Don’t need to!” Her grin is impossibly wide.

Karkat eats his food in begrudging silence. All his troll friends are here, decisively not mixing with humans. He frowns, swallowing down a large bite.

“What class do you have next?” He asks Terezi.

“Business.”

“You don’t have that history one- I thought it was mandatory?”

Terezi just shrugs, “A few of us don’t. I guess they don’t want us all in one place at one time.”

A shiver goes up Karkat’s spine at that. When the bell rings he is unsettled, but dutifully heads to class. But _of course_ he is an idiot who leaves his bag behind. _Of course_ he tells everyone to go ahead without him, he’ll just be a minute. And then _of course_ there are some human assholes waiting for him.

“Hey guys, look. It’s one of those alien freaks.” There are two of them. They are wearing bright clothing and ugly sneers. 

_Great._

Feeling anger burn at the corners of his exhaustion, Karkat wants to open his mouth and say something far more intelligent and stinging back, but then he _stops._

Strangely he is struck by how imp like these humans are.

“Oh.” is all he can express.

“Get him.” One of them points. Mistaking his incredulous fascination for cowardice. Karkat easily dodges and weaves forward to grab his bag. 

He might not have been god tier but he did train all his life to join the Alternian military (or, more accurately to die running away from them). These human imps were bulky, and clearly dangerous, but they had not come here expecting someone who, more or less had just come from an active war zone.

 _Open terrain, short time span before teachers would come by, I’m infinitely faster- There is no danger._ He soothes himself, _none at all._

He was away from them before they could _blink._

 _There. Conflict avoided. Terezi would be proud._ She had been talking about that, instilling the importance of not appearing monstrous in any way.

“Yeah, you better run. We’ll get you later.” One of them calls in impotent rage. Karkat’s heart is beating but he can’t help rolling his eyes at how cartoonish the whole encounter was. Another final bell rings and Karkat doubles his pace.

 _Shit, I'm nowhere near the room. If I'm late will they kick me out?_ Surely not, but he didn’t really want to test it.

By the time he finds the right area he is panting. When he goes in and apologies he is quick to sit down. Hating that there is so much attention on him. His adrenalin is just starting to wear off when it suddenly rockets right back up to full.

“Sup.” a voice says next to him.

“Shut up- I’m trying to-” But his brain catches up to his mouth, he practically bites his tongue he clicks his teeth together so fast. It’s Dave fucking Strider sitting next to him. 

In that moment his world _shatters._

_Why are you here?_ He desperately wants to scream, _What has this world done to you?_ His other set of memories are going wild sending up all kinds of danger signals that his confused heart ignores.

 _Do you know me?_ He wants to scream, but _can’t._

He searches Dave’s face, hopeful but nothing immediately makes sense in the dull confusing euphoria of being both reunited and in horrific danger.

Dave submits to the search. He doesn’t _seem_ bad. _I don’t think he wants to kill me._ Karkat thinks dizzyingly. _But the possibility this is some kind of trap is very real. I guess It’s a good thing Terezi isn’t in this class after all._

_It’s too strange. Him being there in a class not meant for him, a bigger victim than before of his brother’s cruel machinations_. 

_His brother’s in jail you know,_ a stray thought from his other set of memories hiss at him, _He killed a lot of people. Built bombs to destroy troll buildings..._

The thought of that monster touching Dave, any Dave, leaves Karkat feeling hollow. The thought of all that evil twisting his mind in ways he would normally never allow, even more so.

 _I don’t think I can do this._ Karkat slumps resolving to move far away lest his heart break into two. But the teacher won’t let him. Mr. King apologizes but that’s not really good enough. It leaves Karkat seething and sputtering. 

“He can’t hurt you in school.” Mr. King offers weakly. 

“He can still hurt me.” Karkat says tonelessly, refusing to elaborate.

“I can’t remove him from class unless he does something specifically derogatory. I know you and your friends sacrificed a lot to be here. And we teachers are proud. But I cannot break the rules.” 

“Of course.” Karkat grinds out still on rote. He has heard that one before.

He does his best to ignore Dave. Even when the other nonsensically brings up strange jokes just like how _his_ Dave would. 

It is equal parts endearing and sickening.

 _He’s not your Dave_ . Karkat has to remind himself fiercely. _He would rather kill you than hold your hand. He blinded Terezi. Who's to say he isn’t trying to finish the job._

He wants to think more highly of his friends. But something overlays his senses. A daydream- where he is bleeding out. Throat raw from screaming. His wrists are bound above him, and they b u r n.

Most painful of all, the ones who delivered the final blows were, _in another life_ , his best friends. 

* * *

Karkat dreams continuously of the burning village in Alternia. The twin moons in the sky are beautiful but everything else is disgusting. 

The stench of thousands of rotting bodies hits Karkat’s nostrils causing him to wretch. He drops to his knees thinking, _it’s all my fault. All these thousands upon thousands of lives rioting on behalf of my message and visions.... It’s my fault they went against the highbloods and died._

_Snuffed out like flames under water._

_‘What did you do?_ ’ Karkat wants to ask Kankri- or rather the _Signless_ , but that isn’t how any of this worked. He had to feel it for himself.

 _I shouldn’t cry._ He knows, despite the guild and sorrow running up his body, he couldn't put his friends in danger over errant mutant tears. 

_I’ll cry later. For now I'll just mourn._

_Is he the green moon? Am I the pink moon?_ Karkat wonders nonsensically, detaching for a moment. He had hidden his tears so many times too- dealt with so much _fire._

_One of us made a deal with the devil- the other paying the price. No, that’s not right. We’re all paying. It's something everyone bears._

Through the Signless’ eyes Karkat could see Psii, Rosa, and the Disciple in the distance. They were busy scouting for survivors and scavenging potential supplies. _Porrim, Mituna, Meulin._ Karkat but also the Signless’ blood-pusher twitch at the sight of them.

Perhaps it is because of the smoke, but Karkat sees them _flicker_ \- Just like the crowd of humans had at the protest. They becoming younger and more innocent. Their astrological signs morphing into aspect ones.   
  


_Space  
  
_

_Doom  
_

_Heart_  
  


_He knew._ Karkat almost starts himself back awake but hangs on. _He knows.  
  
_

_\-- We saw_

_\--I’m so sorry._

_Is this what Blood is? Is this what Blood means?_ The only real clue Karkat had about his aspect was that it was the inverse of Breath- the sign of ultimate freedom. _So, this is it then. The ultimate shackle of fate._

 _How terrible_... 

Karkat is still emotional, in deep contrast to his grim friends. _The destruction never bothers them as much. This is the only world they have ever known, they don’t remember the life before this where hardly anything hurt…_

The smoldering-fire-burnt-body smell starts mixing with the salty smell of the distant ocean creating something oddly sulfuric.

His three friends head towards the water but Karkat heads towards the flames. 

At first he doesn’t know _why._

 _I should go,_ he thinks _._ But there is something in his blood _singing._

He wakes before he sees what happens next, in a coughing fit- but the feeling that someone is waiting for him through the smoke doesn’t fade. 

The next night he barely shuts his eyes, some deep instinctual fear preventing him.

* * *

After a few days of near-insomnia and resolutely ignoring Dave Karkat almost gives in. _I’m tired, I don’t care if he kills me, I want to hear him laugh._

_Maybe he would understand. His brother’s gone and he seems- okayish. Not violent. Nothing about him seems too different…._

He _almost_ does it- But throws out the notion the day Sollux doesn’t come to class. 

* * *

“I’m worried about Sollux.” Feferi says fins wilting. Karkat didn’t want to admit it but he was worried about this world’s Sollux too. 

“He should really be here, right?” Karkat asks, voice low and gravely. 

“Yeah, his other class isn’t that far…” Feferi frets. 

“Do you think he ran into some trouble?”

“It’s just not like him… and it’s dangerous for us to be alone.”

“Hrmm.” 

“I looked for him before class as much as I could, but I couldn’t go far. Will you help me search after?” 

“Sure.” Karkat nods. For the rest of the class he is barely able to pay attention. 

As soon as the bell rings Feferi grabs him and drags him out the door. They look into every dark space and dimly lit hallway but turn up nothing. 

“Do you think someone shoved him into a locker?” 

“Couldn’t he just psionics his way out?”

“Hmm I guess!” But they both checked all the lockers anyway. Feferi becomes increasingly dejected.

When the bell rang again to return to class, Feferi grabs Karkat’s hand. Her fingers pressing up and over his small scar.

“Hey?” He says in confusion. 

“I don’t know why I’m so worried.” Feferi says, almost like it’s a confession, “We’ve only just met but- _but..._ ” Words seem to fail her.

Karkat is at a loss as well.

“I’ve only just met you as well… _but_ ….it doesn’t really _feel_ that way, does it? We’ve all been through so much together.” She looks like she wants to say more, but shakes her head, “I want to keep looking.”

“If we both skip class someone will notice. My next teacher won’t rat me out.” He does a quick calculation. “I’ll keep looking. It will be safer. You have some important planning thing, right?”

“I- yes.” Feferi tilts her head, “But you’ll be all alone.”

“I won’t be alone.” Karkat promises, “I’m going to be _with_ Sollux.” 

Taking a deep and sorrowful breath she agrees and they part ways. Karkat gets to work searching, but it is harder to do while sneaking. 

_The Signless could sense people…_ Karkat doesn't know who was waiting for the smoke of that burnt village, but he knows that the Signless knew them. _There is no mistaking the connection._

_Maybe I can do the same thing…?_

Karkat closes his eyes and wills himself to picture Sollux. He thinks about him coding madly, surrounded by wires and honey. Twin sets of horns and twin dreamselves on two warring moons. Imagines rocketing through space on a meteor pushed by the power of his mind. A whole shooting star inside a person.

He cracks an eye hoping to see something tangible like a red string, but there is _nothing_. He doesn’t feel _anything_.

 _I guess I’m not like the Signless, no matter how many times I dream I am._ Defeated, Karkat sighs. He considers heading to class but decides to stop at the bathroom instead. _It’s so quiet right now, it might be my only chance._

Going to a small enclosed space, like a bathroom, alone is an insane gamble. Terezi warned them many times but still Karkat goes.

It’s near the top of the school. In a newer part of the building. The walls are white and clean. 

Karkat goes into a stall. He hears someone else come in and turn on the water.

_Ugh, great._

_A confrontation is the last thing I need._ He resolves to wait but the sink keeps flowing.

  
And flowing…..  
  


And _flowing._  
  


_It doesn’t take that long to wash your hands, does it?_

Karkat counts to almost two hundred. The person hasn’t moved from their position over the rushing water. 

Cautiously Karkat opens the door.

It’s _Sollux._

Karkat stares, he should be happy but his senses won’t let him feel relief. _Something is wrong._ __S_ ollux is here, but why is he standing like someone cut the strings of a doll? _

Sollux’s back is ramrod straight, but his neck and head are hunched over- he is staring intently at a running tap as if it is the only thing in the universe. Maybe for a second it is. The vortex like a blackhole. 

“Sollux? Sollux? What the hell? Are you okay?” Karkat's voice raises in alarm.

Sollux doesn’t move, dead to the world.

“Did someone hurt you? Are you hurt?”

Sollux lilts. Karkat rushes forward. 

“There was blood.” He hears Sollux mutter.

“What do you mean?” 

But suddenly Karkat can’t _think_ \- everything grows still and quiet and it feels like the air is being squeezed from his lungs, only that’s not quite what’s going on. Sollux has grabbed him. Digging his claws into Karkat’s arms, desperately as if trying to cling to the reality of him, like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. 

“He kills you, KK.” Sollux says, his voice distorted. 

“You’re hurting me,” is all Karkat says, voice cracking in hysteria. His blood pusher is shuddering painfully in his chest. _What’s going on? What is this?_

“ _He_ kills you.” Sollux repeats. He’s wearing his glasses, so maybe it’s just a trick, but Karkat fears that in this bizarre moment, the other boy’s eyes are a ghastly white.

“Who kills me?” Karkat whispers hoarsely. 

  
But he knows.  
  


Has always known in a way. Bad blood, like how someone knows they carry the potential for a genetic disease.  
  


“Dave Strider.” The Mage of Doom declares with dreadful finality. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah well, at least Karkat has a good reason for avoiding dave. Thanks for reading everyone! I'm so happy we finally got to the dreams ahhh.
> 
> Did this chapter clarify anything? Raise more questions? Let me know! Having one character be two at once was maybe an odd choice.
> 
> Oh also!! I have gone back to all the previous chapters and edited a bit. I'll probably keep doing that! Because the story is quite old. I forget a lot what I was trying to do so I have to go back and fix things for continuity... and tenses... and grammar.


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